The Aug 9 cover page of Time magazine featuring an Afghani women, Bbibi Aisha, with chopped nose has not only fueled anew debate about the aftermath of war in Afghanistan but also about the religious extremism and brutality in the form of violence against women. The picture worth a thousand words showcases the 18-year-old's fate as decided by the Talban - on charges of running away from her abusive in laws, her own husband slices off her ears and more in front of the whole community.

Six out of 10 women world-wide experience physical violence, including sexual violence, during their life times, according to the United National (UN) statistics. In South Asia, one in every two women faces domestic violence. In India alone, one in five married women face such violence and 80 percent of women in Pakistan are subjected to verbal, sexual, emotional or physical abuse athome. Likewise, 47 and 60 percent of women get abused by their intimate partners in Bangladesh and Sri Lanka respectively. And about 50 percent of Afghani women are destined to live with recurring domestic violence.

About 2,300 women and girl commit suicide annually and 1.8 million women productive age are depressed in Afghanistan Health Ministry study Islambad based Progressive Women's Association (PWA) has reported that 4,000 women are burnt annually on dowry related case in Pakistan.

Human Right activist believe that in Bangladesh there have been brutal killings of women in the name of religious values for a long time. Women in Bangladesh are being tortured under Fatwa (a legal pronouncement in Islam issued by a religious leader on any specific issued even in the face of persistent argument of activists that Fatwa rulings have led many poor and vulnerable women to commit suicide.

The practice of bride burning over dowry disputes is rampant in India. Yet most of these cases are fabricated by in laws and/or husbands as accidental burning orassuicides, hence vast majority of such heinous crimes are underreported. According to Indian women rights activists, up to 90 percent of such cases are booked as accidents. Though prohibited long back (in 1961) by law, demanding dowry from the bride's family prior to marriage is still life in certain states of India.

Nepal is no exception is far as prevalence of gender-based violence (GBV) is concerned. Though religious extremism is not a big problem in Nepal as in some other countries in the sub-continent, deep-rooted prejudice against women, gender-based cultural practices like Chhaupadi and forcing payments in cash or kind in the name of dowry, particularly in the Tarai region, have been contributing to atrocities against women. The family tradition of selling girls into the bonded servitude in pockets of Nepal is another trigger of gender based violence.

The Maternal Mortality and Morbidity Study (2008-09) jointly undertaken by the family Health Division and the Department of Health Services, reports suicide as the leading cause ofdeth for women of reproductive age(15-49 years) in Nepal. The study findings suggest that poverty, pervasive prejudices, domestic violence and abuses, depression, dowry and abortion are the key contributory factors to suicide among these women.

There is an increasing body of literature showing direct correlation between poverty, gender inequality and violence against women. Empirical studies have shown that increase in domestic violence is pervasive in low income house holds. Women and girls from poor families are often constrained by traditional attitudes and practices that accord them subordinate status within the family by weakening their mobility. This discrimination against women and girls of poor and illiterate families which begins at home commonly manifests and forced sex-selective abortions and infanticides.

The socialization process and majority of South Asian families builds on patriarchy and enforces discriminatory roles and responsibilities on men and women, fueling un equal power relations in the family. This imbalanced relation expands to communities and state institutions and reflect in policies, programmes and practices. Unless this cycle is disrupted at every level, eliminatin g gender-based violence will remain an elusive dream.

Thanks, to the untiring efforts of women rights activists the world over; awareness on gender issues has risen significantly in many parts of the world over the few years, yet gender inequality, and violence against women remain n deeply ingrained in our societies.

Globally, abundant resources have been spent in the name of women's empowerment and gender equality, however, the existing programmes do not seems to be working. Thus it seems every organization working on these issues needs to reorganize and rethink their strategies in terms of both resources allocation and outreach. On July 2, the UN announced creation of a new entity for women's empowerment through merger of its four genders a agencies. The UN Entity for Gender Equality and Empowerment of Women (UN Women). UN Women is the joint new face of the Division for the Advancement of Women (DAW, established in 1946), International Research and Trading Institute for the Advancement of Women (INSTRAW, established in 1976. Office of the Special Adviser on (Gender issues and advancement of Women (OSAGI, established in 1987) and UN Development Fund for Women UN Women functions include supporting inter-government bodies in formulation off policies , standards and norms, helping member states implement these standards, providing technical and financial support to countries and forging partnerships with civil society.

This move is a result of long negotiations between UN member states and efforts of global women's movement. When it comes to achieving the targets envisioned by this initiative at regional, national and local levels, everything boils down to the political will and commitment towards meeting previous and new resolutions made by the member states. By early next year when UN Women will be operational, let us hope Nepal will have learned from its past mistakes and world be able to move forward n by utilizing this opportunity.

What do longer, drier, hotter summers; shorter. Shrinking forests and mountain glaciers have in common? These desultory developments are all interwoven into the wider web of climate change. Climate change, also referred to as global warming, occurs when colossal amounts of greenhouse gases accumulate in our atmosphere. These monster gases trap heat, causing the temperature of the earth to increase.

Experts say that the amount of greenhouse gas in the there hold that can potentially cause dangerous climate change. An international group of scientists concurred in a report for the UN intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change that by the year 2100, temperatures may increase by as much as 6.4 degrees. This is quite regrettable. Furthermore, a climate change could trigger mega disaster, the UN warns.

Whether-related catastrophes brought about by climate change are increasing. "The trend is there is a term of floods, and cyclones, and droughts, "according to John Holmes, the UN Under Secretary General for Humanitarian Affairs. And there is this danger of earth-quake always.

For example, Kathmandu city, which sits on two earthquake faults, is vulnerable to earthquake and if a large earth quake is to come, the results could be catastrophic. The worlds' political moves and shakers are meeting virtually every month about climate protection and energy issues. Often discussions about climate change turn into slinging verbal bouts between those who think the apocalypse is imminent, and those who believe that global warming is a myth. Meanwhile, rich countries and poor ones remain deadlocked over who should make cuts in the future as the worldwide demand for energy is rising at around 2oercent a year. Nonetheless, time for such diplomatic playground games has definitely run out. We have just another decade or so left to reorganize our energy industry and reorient our power consumption to avert the worst.

Governments should shift more of their spending on energy research into renewable sources of energy in the future. But the reluctance of governments to pursue even these basic measures is due in part to the political power industries (which employ millions of people) such as coal, oil and nuclear energy, which will lose as a result. Nonetheless, governments in the rich world are spending a little more on research into renewable.

Responsibility for the amelioration of environment problem is shared by industrialized and developing nations alike. Past accumulations of" green house" gases, for example, have largely come from the former, while future growth in emissions is likely to come increasingly from the latter group.

Nonetheless, climate stability is essential for a humane development,. However, here is a biggest challenge: Poor and marginalized people in developing countries such as Nepal, who have hardly contributed to climate change, are the ones who can least protect themselves. At the same time, two billion people are waiting to get n access to energy. How to balance this discrepancy equation? Forceful energy savings are recommended but the solutions, however, are increased energy efficiency and decentralized renewable energy sources.

Thorough research in the Himalayas is crucial to checkmate climate sceptics!

Hounded by their critics for months now, scientists supporting climate change theory have sighed with some relief in the past couple of weeks.

One after another, four inquiries in quick successions have come up with findings that say the experts were not wrong in their over all conclusion on the changing climate.

The latest one is one"climate gate"-named so aftermoethan1,000 emails were hacked from the Climate Research Unit of the University of East Anglia here in the United Kingdom. The Independent Climate Change Email largely dismissed climates septics claim that the emails revealed that scientists manipulated and suppressed key climate data. Chaired by former British civil servant Sir Muir Russel, the review also said it had found nothing that undermined the reports of International Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) that drew on the UEA climate data repository.

The United Nation's scientific body, the IPCC has concluded that human activities are highly likely to be causing climate change. The world's highest climate authority so far has also warned that uncontrolled emission of heart-trapping greenhouse gases will lead to dangerous and irreversible climatic changes that will imperil life on the planet.

Russel's review panel, however, did criticize the UEA scientists of not being open when it came to sharing their research data. And so did two other reviews on the same issue in April and March.

A report from the British House of Commons Science and Technology Committee and the Oxburgh inquiry both gave clean chits to UEA scientists in terms of their conclusions on climate change.

Outside Britain, an investigation by the Dutch Environmental Assessment Agency too largely supported the IPCC' s overall conclusion that global warming is happening and human activities are responsible for it.

A review of the IPCC itself is underway, particularly in the wake of its colossal mistake when it said the Himalayan glaciers would disappear by 3035.

The panel has admitted that it made the blunder and that it has got to change its modus operandi its terms of gathering information and data and processing them for preparing reports. Critics leapt on to its bumbling act last year no sooner it was discovered that the year 2035 was a type error in the fourth assessment report.

The dust of the controversy had just begun to rise when the global climate campaign was struck by another thunderbolt- the-so-called climate gate of the UEA.

For climate septics, both of the issues could not have come at a more opportune time- they emerged one after another just before the climate change summit in Copenhagen last December. Here was the so far biggest climate meeting to be attended by more than 110 head of states and governments for a global deal, and it was just then that the climate change science itself was thrown into fresh doubts.

Could it just be a coincidence?

Eyebrows were also raised when just before the Copenhagen summit's first follow-up meeting in Bonn last June, a report said low lying island states on the Pacific Ocean had stabilized and some had even expanded. Where as scientists have been constantly warning that rising sea level because of global warming will inundate such island states and they will some day become inhabitable.

In yet another interesting turn of events, it was just before the Bonn meeting, some fellows with the UK 's Royal Society expressed reservations on how the society "oversimplified its saying on climate change." The 43 fellows said the communication did not properly distinguish between what was widely agreed on climate science and what it not fully understood.

Amid such cold shoulders, the recent findings on the basics of climate science must have been given a warm welcome by scientists supporting climate change theory. But that will not be the end for climate septics. They have already dis -missed the findings of the recent inquiries as biased.

Brace up for many other "climate gates" as not only are there scientists, even if in minority, who challenge the concept of man-made climate change there are, more importantly, power houses like fossil fuel and automobile industries that can make and break governments even in developed worlds.

Add to that the shaky state of the global economy.

All this means there won't be a global climate deal anytime soon.

Meantime, at least proper research can happen on what actually is happening in the wake of climate change.

IPCC' s major slip on the state of the Himalayan glaciers was arguably climate septics' first solid ammunition. And yet, the state of the Himalayas and collaboration among countries on finding out the truth is confined to documents such as that of SAARC.

Past isolated field studies in some pockets of Eastern and Western Himalayas showed contradictory results -glaciers are found to be retreating in one while they are seen to be advancing in the other. A recent workshop in Kathmandu saw scientists agreeing to improve collaboration on scientific and technical research on the cryosphere of the Indus basin. The basin includes Afghanistan, China. India and Pakistan, the countries that host the Hindu-Kush Himalayan range.

"It is expected that this approach will facilitate sharing of experiences to create an environment of ownership of scientific work among regional government institutions engaged in sustainable water resources management in the Indus basis, "the International Center for Integrated Mountain Development that had organized the workshop said.

Just like the scientists , if only governments - often suspicious of one another-reached an agreement, there would be less climate gates. Perhaps.

There are two kinds of volunteers. One kind has a placard around his neck which reads 'I am a volunteer'. The other kind does not have any label, but provides selfless volunteer service. Those without placards give informal help to others beyond the family circle. This informal, unlabeled type of volunteering is much needed and it can be come a national movement when it is part of the attitude of the members of society. However, I rarely see any courteous acts and good manners from busy urban people.

In public transport, young people sit tight in their seat while a frail old lady stumbles and clings to the strap. They do not offer their seat to pregnant women or the elderly. People do not bother to hold open doors for those with their arms full or to lend a helping hand to mothers struggling with their babies at shopping centers. They love crowding around scenes of accidents obstructing everything.

At the hawker stall, one can see people eating with loud, disgusting noises, talking with their mouths full and sucking food likes suction machines. They end their meal by spitting the remains int heir mouth on the road-side.

It is also nerve -racking to see bikers on the road. They behave like rampaging bulls, reluctant to make way for others, who in the first place were reluctant to give way anyway. When they finally stop at the traffic lights, they toot horn immediately as the light turns green to resume the rampage.

Another common sight is a man strolling down the street or standing at a bus top making loud noises before he spits phlegm on to the footpath. He may even use his fingers to squeeze mucus from his noise, filing it onto the wall and wipe his fingers on the wall. Where is his hanky or is sit the curse of common cold?

Our elders say that villagers are more courteous than urban people. When people live in small groups, everybody knows everybody else. If one person or family has a problem, the whole village takes it as its problem. It is easy to slip into 'villages good, cities bad mode. Nonetheless, villages are small, stable groupings where people know each other and because they know, they care. Cities, on the other hand, are built in large scale and there is a shortage of of inter- personal relationships. People hardly notice those living next door or in the top floor or downstairs. So may be city people are not unpleasant. They do not know each other so they do not care.

In today's highly competitive and individualistic society, many people disregard good manners. If they employ them at all, they often do so for selfish reasons-to impress a beautiful girl in the college or a potential client, sell a product or burrow money. However, good manners are not accessories to discard when they are no longer useful but prerequisites for maintaining a harmonious and caring society.

There are times when I close my eyes and thank the gods, whom I have neither seen nor communicated with, for fulfilling my wish. When I do not get time to complete my home work and my teacher is absent on the day of submission. I close my eyes and thank the gods, Similarly, when some one close to us is lying unconscious in the intensive care unit of a hospital because of a disease, as soon as we hear that he is fine, we go to a nearly temple and thank the gods by offering flowers and sweets.

Many of us believe in the gods. Not because they have done good work or we have seen or spoken to them, but because we all are bought up saying that gods exist everywhere and they do you favors if you stay on the correct path,. But it depends upon an individual what faith to follow or whether they believe in anything at all. As I was bought up in a superstitious family, I do have faith in God and do believe in his existence. However, sometimes there are incidents that eat away at our belief in gods and compel us to ponder their existence. Because of this, the topic whether gods exist or not has been a popular topic of discussion since the beginning of time.

I study till late night, deserting the late night party organized by my friends. I work hard, devoting all my time to my studies. Later, I find that I failed the exam but my friends who went to party and made less effort then me passed. The moment I see my results, my trust in God fades away and I start to ponder his existence. If he does then how did I fail while my irresponsible friends passed?

Near my home, I see a cobbler who has been doing the same job and living in the same dark rented room from as far back as I can remember. He works all day in the scorching sun, wiping his sweat without caring about he dust. But he has neither been able to buy a house nor send his children to a private to a private boarding school. Rather, with limited income he is compelled to wear worn out clothes and had to take his elder son out of school so that he could help him with his work .As I see the pathetic condition of his family, I struggle again with the debate of whether God exists or not!

Some of these instances confuses regarding the presence of God. If God does exist then why does not them how do miracles take place? Hence, discussions on this topic might never come to a conclusion. The existence of god is a mystery for all and will remain a mystery forever.

Reading books is one of the most wonderful charms you can experience in life. It is the beautiful marks of wisdom. The man who doesn't read is imprisoned and confined to his immediate and narrow world. While flipping through each page of a fine book, you can experience a whole new world. It supplements any narrow, into learn views with new with new ideas and strong facts. It stimulates growing up instead of growing old. Through books, you can pay a visit to different worlds. W. Basil Worsfold says, through literature we learn wisdom from Aristotle, geometry from Euclid, law from Justinian and morality from Christ and St. Paul. Creative literature attracts all. It nourishes youth wonderfully, entertains the old perfectly, and solaces adversity. Reading is the greatest form of learning and enjoying. Let us play with each word in every book and explore real happiness and joy.

In a way,a good book exists to please. It lightens the tonnes of burdens resting on man's shoulders, allowing them, for a short while, to forget their sorrows: their silenced hearts and heir scattered hopes and dreams. Reading excites thought increases our vitality and gives us energy to face each new step in life. A book is the only place in which you can test a faltering thought without breaking it, or wait and watch an explosive idea without fear it will go blow up in your face. They are true friends. They are our selfless companions. I am sure they will neither flatter nor dissemble. It is possible to life a thousands lives thorough reading.

Sometimes when we are required to read so many books that other people require us to read that don't ignite our core interests, them in such monotonous thinking. We forget that we can still read for ourselves. Reading can then be a simple exercise in choking down as many pages as possible while maintaining the relevant information needed for the next test or easy. Then, when we finally grab the diploma or the degree, we breathe a huge sigh of relief. Yes, you may need a break from reading for a fraction of time, but don't let academia ruin the awesome pleasure of reading forever. Reading is fun It's just a matter of picking the right book. So, get back to it!

Not all books are good for all readers. There is one saying"Don't read health books, you may die of misprint" We must choose books from the libraries of our interest. It can be literature, biography, history or anything imaginable. Great poems and novels also give us reflective insight into our souls. For a look, Shakespeare's Macbeth mirrors our dishonest ambitions. Paulo Coelho's noved "Alchemist" inspires us to see the dream and seize it.

One day, if you ever feel lonely and disappointed, don't despair, be friend a good book, conquer each word and play with them. It is then you will be able to find real pleasure.

Management of street children will call for innovative solutions!

Street children are an impossible feature to miss in daily life in Kathmandu: They are washing the dishes in the back of your favorite restaurant, and it is all too common to see these street urchins carrying plastic bags filled with dendrite held tight to their lips. Though it may seem as though they are left with little option, the truth it is quite the opposite. With many organization dedicate to their cause, it is hard to imagine why so many of these children are still on the street. But there are clear deficiencies in both the services provided by NGO s working with street children and, more importantly, the legislation designed to protect needy children.

While NGO s work hard to offer children alternatives to life on the street-they provide night shelters, non-formal education, medical support, offer daily meals, provide legal protection when they are illegally arrested or mistreated by the authorities, and some even offer longer-term institutional options-unfortunately, many of the options offered have not lived up to their long-term potential. Given the choice, some children prefer to remain on the street, only playing the roulette of programmes provided by NGO s at their convenience. Some experts blame NGOs for the lack of long-term psychological counseling and drug rehabilitation. And while more progrmmes increasing the conscientisation of street children rather than encouraging passive acceptance of aid and addressing the psychological problems that develop during life on the street are necessary, the NGOs ability to perform these tasks remains constrained. As children living on the street, most have no visible legal guardian, and without established guardianship, these children are left to make choice on their own-often resulting in a return to the street after taking the necessary or wanted services from NGO s.

But there is some hope brewing as the government is in the process of drafting an improved Education Act, set to include a provision to enhance the existing law related to children in adherence with its commitment to the International Convention on the Rights of Children (ICRC). This legislation will give the government the responsibility to look after the education and healthy development needs of underprivileged children: namely the handicapped, orphans and children living on the streets. For the first time, there may be a clear party to take legal responsibility for the children living on the street. But it is unclear how this will be implemented in regards to street children. In order for legislation to be effective, it must clearly delineate responsibility and caretakers for street children, who differ greatly from other under privileged groups of children who have clearly defined guardians. The children on the street are no longer under the supervision of their parents with only a small minority actually orphaned, and nor yet under the care of the state. As experience shows, the task of managing children who have been out on the street for any length of time as difficult. But as far as practicable, children must be returned to a safe home environment, or where that is unavailable, into the care of a programme that provides them with the rights guaranteed by the ICRC.

As people often say, the only things that is constant in the world is change itself. In the case of Nepal, "change" is probably the most frequently used word by politicians and the people alike. However, we have long been told that it takes a long time for society, attitudes, and social systems to change-and until now, we've believed it.

The French Revolution, for example, was the explosive result of contradiction within the told society. Though the revolution itself only lasted 10 years, the underlying frustrations built over a much longer period of time. These days, it is easy to see first-hand evidence of women who are angry and irritated with the way things are running, women, who are ready for a change. The good news is, things will change-and quickly ! Modern Nepali women-partly by what they do-have been sending society these gender-bending messages.

Like their male counter-parts, today's women live life at full throttle, forced to bear the double burden of balancing their professional work and household chores. Women have already smashed many of the glass stereotypes imposed by society just by heading out to work every morning. And every time she mends the gas-stove, fixes the family PC or drives to work, she is further proving her point, isn't she?

Like their male counter-parts, today's women live life at full throttle, forced to bear the double burden of balancing their professional work and household chores. Women have already smashed many of the glass stereotypes imposed by society just by heading out to work every morning. And every time she ends the gas stove, fixes the family PC or drives to work, she is further proving her point, isn't she?

In our country, men have always received the better deal out of marriage. But neither gender was able to do anything about it; they were more or less content to conform to societal stereotypes. But things have changed now that more and more women are working away from home. The average man is happy to think about being a father a year into a marriage, but the modern woman, on the other hand, wouldn't dream of being pregnant this early because of her own career objectives. These women want to keep things on an even keel because they want to secure their professional future before having to also take care of a family. And they have every right to plan fort heir future- the hallmark of a truly democratic society.

So where is this headed? As far as I can tell, women aren't about to back off anytime with their hard earned financial, sexual and emotional independence It's the men who now need to accept this reality and adapt . To this changing social scene accordingly. But all is not well for most of the women in Nepal; women are still routinely beaten, raped and burnt. Nonetheless, gender-bending has engendered a healthy respect for women in Nepal, which is a commendable feat in a country where women had always been regarded as secondary citizens.

Contemporary Nepali women are neither a feather on the sea nor a straw in the wind. They are the alpha and omega of everything . I am a male, but truly say to you, please. Shed the myth of the social illusions, and don't hold on to the shadow of those bygone years. Ignite a new light-the light of emancipation. Move forward. Go! Tomorrow is all yours. Free your faces from under the well: let the world see today's Nepali women shaping their own destiny.

Studies show that kids should learn reading and writing in their mother tongue first

Sending a child to school is just one of the many prerequisites of good schooling. Going to school regularly does not necessarily mean that the child is learning well. There are many components of an enabling school environment. What and how one is being taught is central to effective management of scholastic investment. In addition, who is teaching determines the success of the whole process. Obviously, the teacher has to be conversant with the culture, tradition and language of the community from which the students originate. The capabilities and back-grounds of the students also have to be considered. Bringing children to school, especially in rural areas, and creating a child-friendly classroom atmosphere is only possible by breaking all the barriers of communication between the teacher and the student. The most effective means of this communication is the language. And this language has to be the child's mother tongue.

According to Article 28 of the International Convention on the Rights of Child adopted on Nov 20, 1989 and signed by all the UN Member States, "All children have the right to enjoy free and compulsory education; and to have access to secondary and higher education in accordance with their capabilities."

The word "capabilities" here stands for not only physical and material capacity but also mental. Children with lesser capabilities require a different learning atmosphere than the brighter ones. The choice of language on the part of the teachers has very much to do with the creation of a congenial or hostile atmosphere for students.

But there are certain Catch-22 situations when the efforts of the stakeholders run the risk of going futile. Recently, I had an opportunity to visit and study language problems being faced by school children along the Andhara Pradesh Karnataka border in India. Almost 99 percent of these children hail from migrating tribal communities who shut-the between Andhara Pradesh, Karnatk and Maharashtra in search of temporary employment. The length of their stay in any of these states does not exceed more than six moths. They migrate to these phase in search of daily wage earning opportunities to keep their body and soul together.

The most tragic part of this distress migration is that its victims are the school going children who have no alternative but to accompany their parents wherever they go. During this period, they enrol in nearby public schools. There is a definite lure for this enrolment : free midday meals provided by the respective state governments aimed at meeting one of the Millennium Development Goals of universalizing primary education.

Besides the heartening midday meal saga is a deeply rooted language crisis. The teachers working in these border schools are mostly monolingual, either speaking Kannada or Telugu or Maratha or Hindi or English. Most often they show up at school for a couple of hours for lack of transportation facilities. The language spoken by the teacher is unintelligible to most of the students who hail from this migrating population. The only alternative to addressing this crisis is to produce or appoint teachers who can speak and teach in more than one language as per the need of the individual student.

It is incumbent upon the governments to cater to the needs of such nomadic children. Combined efforts of the adjoining states is the only solution to addressing the problem, which is not expected in the foreseeable future despite the federal government passing the bill on the Right to Education just two months back, according to the director of an NGO, which has been actively involved in education towards enhancing reading, writing and arithmetic among children in primary schools. It is funded by Aide et Action International South Asia.

To come back to our context, it is fortunate that we do not have such unbridgeable communication or language caveats even in school located in the remotest of areas. At least, there is a sizeable number of local teachers working in these schools, However, the extent to which they have been successful in inspiring the local students and preserving the languages spoken in the area is central to their effective teaching. They need to be trained in using the local languages and dialects to explain difficult concepts and subject matters. They pressure on the children to speak a dominant (read national) language to exercise their so-called elitism and prove their "higher-up language " shift, this will disastrously contribute to bringing about a loss of traditional ways and culture.

Global research shows that children should learn reading and writing in their mother tongue first. Only after they can read fluently at a minimum of 45-60 words per minute can they absorb what they are reading. Such fluency is most easily achieved in the mother tongue. Once that is established, learning a second language becomes much easier. Premature teaching of any second language becomes much easier. Premature teaching of any second language can prevent children from learning to read fast enough in their mother tongue. Early reading and writing is vital: children who cannot do so fluently by class two is unlikely to catch up with classmates in higher class.

Almost one year has elapsed since the much -hyped School Sector Reform Plan (2009-15) was introduced. This plan underscores the need to educate children in their mother tongue in initial schooling years. This is probably the best part of the document. Otherwise , it seems to emphasize administrative dimensions rather than educational ones. The clause "diversity and learning needs" does emphasize the use of the mother tongue as the medium of instruction in the early grades. Unfortunately, if fails to address the needs of underachievers from marginalized and endangered sections of the population.

Reports have it that the pace of preparation of books in the mother tongues has not been so satisfactory. Furthermore, the concerned ministry and departments must train teachers to come out of the textbook box. Apart from inspiring children to learn more effectively and encouraging interaction between parents and wards, these books will also help preserve the endangered languages.

Here, it would be relevant to note that the worst part of the present education system is the divide between parents and children which is partly a fall-out of bad educational policies and approaches practiced by the public and private sectors. Rampant Anglicization of the medium of instruction promoted by private schools is at the heart of this problem. The government should ensure that no child loses his or her mother tongue. Moreover, it has to play a proactive role in preserving and promoting the mother tongues of vulnerable and backward communities to put their children on the radar of literacy and further academic ambition and achievement.

It hurts when you fail in something. But it hurts even more when you work hard and you don't succeed. Working hard requires lots of dedication, and dedication requires faith. So when the result is negative after hard work it's shocking, disappointing, and terribly disturbing. You begin to doubt yourself and question your ability of doing anything. You are shaken from the root. And it's hard to stand on firm ground again.

I too doubt myself a lot and tend to get frustrated when things go wrong. Loneliness surfaces andI fear it could take me to the darkest path I have never known. But when I am cool and looking at the sky, doubting myself seems to be the same as doubting entire humanity. And it becomes almost impossible for me to prove that we are weak humans. I have always believed that the humans are the most blessed and powerful creatures. We are the one favored by nature and gifted by the lord. Within every ordinary brain is an extraordinary person with immense potential. And I know I am part of this community. I feel confident again.

I shouldn't even look for whole humanity to regain trust in myself. It definitely had been a hard job for me to learn to walk. I feel down many times before I took the first step and fell down even more before starting to run. But I finally did it, like everyone. Similarly words must not have come out from my mouth in the first try. I must have tried several times before my mom patted on my back for pronouncing words in the right way.

Every ordinary people are fighters from birth itself or even before that. Every human face has a proud history of being chosen by god and by nature.

With these convictions, I get inclined towards thinking doubting is a kind of excuse. I again want to believer that if you really want something you will get it. Just give the test of time that may cause pain to you at present but finally it will make you stronger.

So my failure in spite of the hard work is making me stronger for the future. It's making me more patient, prudent and giving time to discover what I missed. Most of all, it helped me to confront my fears,. Failing may not be a milestone but it certainly is a foundation stone. And even though the victory never shows the hardship behind it, yet, it is the unflagging endeavor that builds the pillars for victory.

And last but not the least, when I get sad after failing something. I always try to keep in mind that failure is as important as success if I want to know life. I should accept it as I accept success, with the same smiling face because deep down I know failure teaches as something which success never can.

Each New Year brings along with it the new school sesions. There I was covering my younger brother's books and notebooks, which is quite a task - first they have to be covered by brown paper and then again with plastic (how else would they survive a whole year?). Noticing we were busy with my brother's preparation for school, my mother took a bit of pity onus and brought a glass of warm milk for my brother and a cup of steaming hot coffee for me along with a packet of cookies. Plastic to cover the books, milk that came out of a plastic packet, coffee and cookies- all in plastic, I couldn't help think about how our existence is entwined with the use of plastic.

During lunch time at school, a good percentage of students he noodles for lunch; the likes of Wai-Wai and Rum-Pum which again are accountable for plastic piles littering the school courtyard. In Nepal, even the most remote trails are strewn with these empty packages.

I remember reading a foreigner's account of a holiday trip to Nepal with his son. Once break at school, the son was required to do a presentation on something unique about his holiday destination. His friends talked of sunshine and sea-shells, some of cold mountains and snow, but when it was the child's turn he didn't talk of our majestic mountain ranges, the friendly people, or the culture-anything of which we proudly boast of. What he rather presented on was plastic in Nepal , especially in Kathmandu and the abundance of plastic waste in almost every color thrown just about everywhere. Now that's not exactly something we can be proud of, is it?

When my mother goes to vegetable market she carries with her environmentally friendly bags and the vendors have taken quite a liking to her for she save them money by not using the plastic bags they give their goods away in . Whatever plastic bags come to our house are either reused over and over again or my mother gives away the extra plastic bags to a vendor nearly who can reuse it, which also saves him precious money.

A leading environmental organization calls 'waste' as an additional 'resource'. Plastic as such is not biodegradable but it sure can be reused and recycled to help reduce the plastic burden on the planet. We cannot perhaps do away with plastic any time soon. Most of our responses to problems are 'crisis driven ' and a lot of our problem trend to grow to enormous volumes in account of the very nature of ours . But we have to keep in mind., "it was not the last stick that broke the camel's back".

Instead of asking "nobody else does it why should it? we should be saying "nobody does it that's why I should (begin)" . In the least, try doing what my mother does to reduce your plastic foot mark.

Have you ever been attracted to or actually purchased products because of advertisements like this? Advertisements are a great source to ensure the success of a business. Without advertisements, we would have no idea all the different flavors of Horlicks that exist unless we went to the store to check for ourselves. Advertisements let consumers know when anew product has been launched into the market and they are often taken as a source of information as well.

Companies spend millions of rupees a year on advertisements, but has any-one seriously considered why? If a beverage company spends ten lakh rupees on one ad, and only one lakh of people pay attention to the ad, that means the firm is spending to rupees for each person. Through that 10 rupees the ad can convince those people to purchase the product it is promoting. If it only costs three to five rupees for the production of one soft drink and they charge 20 rupees, even if 10 rupees has gone to advertising, there is still at least five rupees profit. And that is know business works.

I currently live in front of a school. Form my window, I can clearly see the activities of students throughout the day. During tiffin, several children quickly rip open packets of noodles during the break to see the coupon waiting inside, while other students grudgingly eat the meal prepared by their mother that morning. The excitement of the students diving into the packages of noodles cannot be blamed on them, but it is clear that their excitement is influenced by the constant stream of noodles ads on television and ads plastered on every other building. Why should these children become the victims of those advertisements? And why don't the other children appreciate the healthy meal prepared by their parents?

It is not the fault of businesses. They have every right to advertise their product their product to the masses. Nor can we blame the media. For the media, advertising is a primary source of income through which they stay afloat. If utilized fairly, advertisement can be beneficial to business firms, the media, and consumers, too.

Although it is the consumers' responsibility to stay alert and wise in the process of selecting which products to purchase, there is a still need for control from all sides. For example, a programme on an FM station or on television should be longer than the advertisements. A one hour programme should not have 40 minutes of ads and 20 minutes of programming. Newspapers should consist of more news than advertisements. Business firms should try to give the actual reasons their products is the best and should be purchased, not misleading consumers with false statements. And citizens should boycott false advertisements.

As consumers, the one thing we should do is be aware. We should not run to purchase a brand of tea after hearing the slogan 'mood change turuntal'. Nor should we attempt the things we see on the Mountain Dew commercial claiming "dar to a gadi jeet cha! And we should not purchase a certain toothpaste under the impression of an ad that if we use that toothpaste. We will be able to attract a girl just by saying "talk to me!'

Suicide and Depression have been proven to be inter-related public health problems

Although it happened almost 25 years ago, I remember when one of my close childhood friends' nice was brought to Vellore, India for treatment. We came to know that she had attempted suicide. Though her family wanted to keep the matter totally confidential, rumours were circulating that she was mentally disturbed. Despite the family's best efforts to tighten their lips in fear that no one would marry her later, somehow, the beans were spilled that the poor girl was forced into confinement in an isolated room when ever family felt she was under the influence of evil spirits.

Although we never learned the name of the disease her doctor diagnosed, I know that she was prescribed medicine for the next few months. Now, the good news is she is a completely fit woman, enjoying an executive post in a flourishing financial institution. The bad news is that two and a half decades down the line, we are still carrying a similar mentality about mental health care. The worst part of all is that when I asked her permission to do this story. I was only allowed to do so on the condition that her identity must be strictly withheld.

It seems that the societal "threat" is still so profound that, despite being a financially successful woman commanding a prestigious status in her family and community, she doesn't want to speak about the incident that occurred so many years ago. The fact of the matter is that she was suffering from a minor curable disease which was blown so out of proportion that it almost cost her life.

A week ago, I got a mail from a reader of my last article asking about my take on the improved maternal mortality rate (from 539 to 229 per 1000,000) in relation to suicidal death being reported as the single leading cause of death for women of reproductive age (15-49) years) in Nepal. She cited the Maternal Mortality and Morbidity Study(2008-09) undertaken by the Family Health Division of the Department of Health Services with the primary objective of tracking changes in maternal mortality in Nepal sine1998. I wrote back with an honest answer: There is no accurate reporting of suicide cases, and I do not want to base my opinion on unconfirmed data.

The Maternal Mortality and Morbidity Study findings suggest that the key contributing factors to suicidal death are mental health problems, relationships and marriage and family issues. In addition, women activists argue that existing women, domestic violence and abuse, migration of men, poverty, depression, dowry and abortion are among the main reasons. Moreover, the general belief is that women face unique social and psychological conditions that force them to take this kind of desperate measure in extreme cases. It is also true that many female suicidal cases go unreported as the families of the victims are afraid to deal with police cases as well as the perceived negative consequences thereafter. There has been no such specific empirical study carried out so far in Nepal to prove a correlation between domestic violence and/or prejudices and women's suicide.

Suicide and depression have been proven to be seriously inter-related public health problems. The World Health Organization has estimated that by 2010, depression will be the most prevalent cause of disability in both the developed and the developing world. It has been noted, particularly in the developing countries, that the majority of people with depression lack access to treatment. In the case of Nepal, due to the social stigma associated with psychological problems, those suffering form depression and thus being at high risk of suicide hesitate to seek the are they need.

Marginalized ,women. Owing to the patriarchal system common in Nepal, are at a higher risk of depression and suicide compared to men. In addition,women in remote areas are more prone to attempt suicide than those in urban areas due to their comparatively limited access to education, awareness and other economic resources. A majority of psychiatric patients get treatment in hospitals and clinics centered in urban areas.

For a variety of reasons ranging from lack of resources to political conflict, the attention of the government and the non-governmental sector being focused on mental health related problems has been very low. The Maternal Mortality and Morbidity Study has clearly shown that we better start working on a proper response now. The 1996 Nepal Mental Health Policy already set out key areas needing attention, such as ensuring the availability of essential mental health, preparing human resources and protecting the human rights of the mentally ill. This leaves us with the task of working out and flowing the "hows" of this "wish list" in a cost- effective manner.

The identification of individuals at high risk of suicide should be a stepping at high risk of suicide should be a stepping stone to kick off the response strategy. The identification, however, has to be backed with adequate arrangements of necessary services and facilities there-after. Otherwise, the identification will only end up with increasing frustrations among individuals from the not-so-friendly Nepali communities towards people with such problems. This response strategy should also call for parallel efforts to abolish the social stigma associated with mental illness, which would, in turn, encourage those suffering to accept referrals for treatment without fear of mistreatment by society. Besides, mechanisms have to be in place for continuous evaluation of these inter-venations to allow subsequent adaptation in strategies and approaches.

Women living in remote areas become more vulnerable due to the common reluctance of trained professionals to be posted in remote areas. In the face of their preference for emigrating in search of better opportunities elsewhere, there remains the challenge of retaining these valuable individuals and restricting he brain-drain syndrome by providing a package lucrative enough to hold them back.

Nepal also needs to adopt activities aimed at improving awareness on mental health issue by educating people about depression and suicide. Countries such as Japan, Australia, Korea and China have successfully undertaken similar efforts through program on television and radio,distribution of leaflets posters and other information materials as well as organization of depression screening sessions, counseling services seminars, community activities and street dramas.

A 2005 WHO study concluded that it was extremely difficult to anticipate and generalize suicidal behavior. The study was based on assessing thoughts, behaviors and opinions in reference to suicide in various cultural and demographic settings. The suicide committed last month by a family in Rukum also points to the fact that a proper response has to be rater holistic in nature. The trio, husband Dal Bahadur Oli (70 years old), wife Kali Devi Oli (68 years)and daughter Tulsa Oli (27 years ) hanged themselves out f desperation due to lack of money for the treatment of Tulasa's epilepsy.

Knowing such a horrific reality, I could not cherish reading the summary of the progress on the Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) which claims that the poverty rate has gone down by over one percentage point per year sine the mid-1990s. If the fate of the Oli family is in face of our declining poverty, how can we take pride in these calculations? The government has shown its commitment to achieve the MDGs, andthe20 or so UN agencies present in Nepal claims to be actively supporting the government in fulfilling its commitment. Could these dedicated groups look a little beyond these numbers and attempt to ensure that no more Nepali families face the fate of the Oli family? We will have every reason to celebrate if such a clearly visible impact of poverty reduction at the grassroots level is felt!

Every since industrialization humans have augmented of green-house gases causing climate change. current changes in climate cannot be totally avoided Yet better adaptation can minimize threats and confer immediate benefits.

Adaptation is a reaction to the threats of climate change that encompass changes in social and institutional structures and technology. Improving our capacity to adapt is crucial to adjust to climatic extremes like drought and floods. Climate changes rapidly. So approaches like better adaptation is imperative. The greatest impact is on food security.

Adaptation strategies can be adopted at different levels: more localized within one farm or community or on a bigger scale of an entire nation. A farmer who grows drought resistant plant varieties in increasing temperatures and decreasing precipitation minimizes risk of crop failure. A nation with better forecasting tools for extreme events can prevent huge losses of human life. But adaptation at the right juncture is crucial. If used in a suitable amount of time, it heals your wound. But the more you neglect your wound, the worse it gets. It is rational to use adaptation strategies beforehand rather than at the last moment. Additionally, it is less expensive and more new rewarding. Two different modes to adapt are planned adaptation and autonomous adaptation. Planned adaptation functions at large scale and often requires huge investments: like the construction of dams to reduce flood damage; change inland use and breeding new varieties of crops. Autonomous adaptation works over a small range. It includes strategies like changing sowing dates and the harvesting time of crops and livestock, and changing cropping patterns of farms. Diversification of farms reduces the risk of crop losses and confers complementary advantages.

A state should be responsible enough to design sound adaptation strategies, and should render capital in all forms physical, financial and human. An even greater need is the government's investment in research. Research activities in Nepal are limited. Huge loss of produce from farms every year due to catastrophic events is eminent and recent changes in the climate have further exacerbated the situation. So, sustainable management and utilization of resources like soil and water is of overriding importance . It all depends on the mainstreaming of climate change into policies and the promulgation of adaptation strategies through extension, research and education. It is advantageous to promote locally adopted strategies in policies linked with science and technology. Local knowledge and innovations are important to promote the resilience of agricultural systems.

Adaptation is vital for Nepal. Hunger will continue to increase at an alarming rate if strategies are not adopted. Apart from that, it is impossible to bring back the losses to humanity. Undeniably, prevention is better than care.

To say that women are as capable as men in a society where they work the longest hours and do the hardest jobs with little expectations in terms of material resources and societal recognition is utter underestimation of their actual capability. They are capable not as much as men, but a lot more than men. That is why I found Himal Khabar's (Vol.19, No.22) title"women are as capable as men" (purus jattikai sabalchan mahila) for its transcript on a round table it had organized among several of Nepal's women political leaders totally misleading. Since it was put inside quotation marks, I expected that the discussions might contain that sentence. However, unless that particular sentence was edited out, it appears no woman at that discussion uttered that sentence. That in itself was not the source of my unease, for sure.

In fact, I would not have been surprised if one of the women leaders at that round table had actually said that. After all, an important part of the Nepali women's movements has been to publicly claim that they are not inferior to men. May be the editor tried to sum up the main "feel" of the discussion through that title.

"You can't do multi-tasking", my wife rebuffed me not long a go when I proposed to her that I take our son along with me to my field research site in Chitwan after I arrive in Nepal in May this year. For the last two years, she has been handling both the home and the office. And the office required her to go around different parts of the country on field visits, whereas I have been living a bachelor's life as a graduate student in Toronto.

Suprabha Ghimire said at Himal's round table that the "male power does not want to recognize" the reality that women have contributed to the economy through remittance, tourism and cooperative enterprises. The other way women's contributions to the economic sphere have been seriously under estimated is that much of those contributions, until now, have been part of the household and non- monetised economy, and they have not been included in economic calculations.

Venezuela was the first country, and perhaps the only country so far, that began officially calculating women's contribution to household work and making appropriate compensation for that. How will the picture look, for instance, if we beg into calculate the myriad of intricate jobs that women perform in making sure food is ready either on the table or the kitchen floor? How will it look if we calculate the hours of work women put into make sure the baby is carried to term before it's born? What about all the hours of work required everyday to make sure that a baby grown to be an adult and continues what Marx called the responsibility of a "species being"?

One of Nepal's most prominent feminist intellectuals Seira Tamang has forcefully argued hat any claim to talk about "Nepali woman would be very superficial. " Which one do we mean? She would ask. Are we talking about the upper class women of Kathmandu's Maharganj enclaves of the ones in Kalikot? Are we talking about Brahmins or Dalits? Are we talking about Hindu women or non-Hindus? What about Janajati women? How can we forget that that there are women who work in public offices because they have others kitchen and kids? Are we talking about young ones or old ones?

Fair enough . Still the point is that in every grouping, it is true that women do much more than men. Exceptions exists. Several years ago, I was pleasantly surprised to see Chepang men in a mountain village in Chitwan with their children strapped to their backs, cooking food for the family and doing many other chores that are associated with female work in the rest of our society.

My friend Teeka Bhattarai, who worked with Chepang communities for many other pictures in which the gendered roles that have become entrenched in most of our society had been turned upside down in Chepang villages and households. Both men and women were gathering food from the jungle. They both cooked, took care of their babies, and fetched water from the spring down-hill. Because they did not participate in sedentary agriculture, it was not possible to see how their division would have looked if they had to plough the field for cultivation. Well, Chepang is in the villages where sedentary agriculture has become the norm are already seeing new divisions of labor among men and women. We have to accept, however, that these practices of division of labor have become rarer.

To say that we have to recognize that women are capable of much more than men, however, should not be a license to continue business as usual. Let's not forget the bodily violence that this unbalanced division of labor at home in generating. Women who work hard are the ones who are also suffering from a lot of illness. In both rural and urban areas, uterus prolapse has become fairly common. Suicide as a cause of death has become the number one killer for women of reproductive age. Women die earlier than men. Is the increased stress women must deal with related to the violent conflict that deeply scarred the social landscape? Is it because of the growing polarization between generations as old expectations are taking a severe emotional toll on both the young and the old? Is it because women are left to take care of the home while increasing numbers of men go out in search of cash earning and globe-trotting opportunities?

In a society where the belief that women are inferior to men is nor-malised, it is understandable that women leaders are claiming parity with men . But isn't it time to ask more substantive question, too? There is no doubt that the presence of women in public space leads to changes in the enormously masculinist public culture (don't forget how male-only offices are filled with filthy jokes about women). Still, we have also seen that, when it comes to setting public priorities, it is not enough that women are in public places. The most important thing to see is what future vision they carry. We have seen how callously a woman defense minister could justify gruesome rape and killing of woman at the hands of security personnel. What else does the killing of three women in Bardia National Park and its aftermath indicate? Did it matter if Bidhya Devi was in public office​​​​.

The presence of women in public places is a necessary precondition for transforming the deeply entrenched patriarchy, but it is not enough. It needs to be accompanied by programmatic visions for different social relations altogether including relations at "home". If anything. Feminism is the only political orientation that has brought to the fore how what we call patriarchal society is being reproduced everyday at home, in the bedroom, in the kitchen and on the farm, and not only in parliament, local government chambers and corporate boardrooms. For instance, run a test by asking a man to take charge do of his kitchen or to take care of the baby. Will he agree to multi-task?

Diabetics will go out of hand if urgent measures are not taken!!

Home to over 50 million diabetics, India has for some time held the dubious distinction of being the 'diabetes capital of the world.' That distinction now belongs to China. According to the prestigious New England Journal of Medicine, China is now home to 92-4 million diabetics with another 150 million on their way to acquiring the disease. The important questions : Where does Nepal stand? Overall, not badly, which is largely owing to low prevalence of diabetes among rural Nepalis - Just two percent of rural dwellers have it. But the situation in urban Nepal could not be more contrasting.

A recent Nepal Diabetes Society (NDS) study puts the prevalence rate of the disease among urban Nepalis at 25percent for the 20-40 age-group and 33 percent for people aged 40 and above. In total, around 450,000 Nepalis suffer from diabetes; the World Health Organization expects the number to shoot up to 1.3 million by 2030. Experts attribute the huge urban -rural disparities to the difference in lifestyles of the two sets of peoples. The inhabitants of rural areas are doing all the right things to diseases like diabetes and other heart ailments at bay without even knowing it. As most rural Nepalis rely on agriculture to make ends meet, they have to work hard on their fields fro most of the year-reaping, sowing and harvesting. Hard physical labor in turn equates to a good night's sleep.

The situation is just the opposite in urban areas where the majority of people hold desk jobs which involve little physical activity. Short of time, they are also easily hooked to fast foods that pack in lots of fat and bad cholesterol. This mix of unhealthy diet and lack of exercise is the perfect combo to put on excess weight and, in time, develop chronic diseases like diabetes.

What is alarming is that 50 percent of Nepalis with diabetes, unaccustomed to regular medial checkups, don't even know they have the disease until well into later stages of the disease- characterized by debilitating symptoms like severe weight loss, excess fatigue and urinary tract infections. The most important step toward off diabetes is weight control. This is turn calls for adoption of healthy eating habits, regular exercise and living stressed-free lives.

But these vital lifestyle changes will come about only after people are aware of the dire consequences of the disease and the and the other complications it is likely to bring along. Prevention and early detection is important not just for medical reasons; it makes economic sense, too. There is no cure for diabetes and the palliative treatment is expensive. WHO warns that deaths from diabetes (five percent of all deaths) are likely to increase by 50 percent unless urgent actions are not taken. Mass awareness of the disease as well as of the benefits of adopting healthy lifestyles, which far surpass the smaller goal of keeping diabetes at bay, will be the best way to battle this 21^st century urban scourge.

Women in rural parts of Asia walk on average a distance of six km to collect water!

The first time I got alarmed at the rapid depletion of water resources was when I witnessed during my field trip six out of the 10 bore-wells dug in North Gujarat, India yielding no water even at a depth of 1,200 feet. Nepal is lucky not to have a water problem of that magnitude yet. However, one can presume that if the drinking water crisis is not taken seriously by the government and relevant stakeholders, the days ahead will be very troubling.

Contrary to the popular perception that water shortage is just Kathmandu' s problem, the situation is, in fact, worse in rural Nepal. Recently, the killing of a 13-year-old girl over a dispute related to drinking water in Letang. Morang is an example of how scarcity of this resource could nastily fuel even social unrest. Ramila Biswakarma was beaten to death over a minor dispute she had with a 45-year-old local resident Mithumaya. The dispute was all about who should get to fill her water container first.

Debaki B.K. Of Palpa district feels insulted as she hast o face tantrums from her Brahmin neighbours who direct her to fill her container at the end of the now mainly due to the fact that she is a Dalit. She complains, "Walking almost two - three hours at dawn to fetch drinking water is both scary and strentious. Women and children carry water weighing up to 3-5-11.5 kg at one go under normal circumstances. This implies that they may be required to fetch water several times a day in order to ma e available the average 10 liters of water used by each member of their families per day. According to the International Water Management Institute, the average distance that women in rural parts of Asia walk to collect water is six km. This tells us loud and clear as to how women and children can have substantial time to pursue activities related to education and income generation if a water supply system is installed in proximately to their-villages.

The story of the urban side is a little different. Every morning, Laxmi Pariyar wakes up and heads for the bath room to wash her face. But most of the time when she turns the tap on, there is seldom any water. Even if there is any, its quality is bad and not potable. A resident of Gaurighat, Kathmandu, Pariyar is HIV-positive and believers that the poor quality of water has been the aggravating factors of her illness as unclean and contaminated water weakens her immune system, which she has to maintain with heavy doses of medication.

I often her from my balcony my neighbor Sharma shouting at his wife for not getting enough water for him to take his shower before leaving for work. Likewise, Dhakal of Battisputali is upset as she cannot rent out the ground floor of her house just because of lack of enough water for an average family. It has been more than a year that her well has dried up and they have had to purchase tanker-fetched water from private water suppliers. This year, as early as the first week of March, some residents of Kathmandu have complained about not having trace of piped water in their taps for the last two weeks. It is clearly evident that no segment of the Nepali community -- urban or rural -- has been spared the impact of the water crisis, though the nature of the coping mechanism varies.

About 7.1 million Nepalis lack access to potable water, and the Millennium Development Goal (MDG) seeks to halve the proportion of people without access to safe drinking water by 2015. According to a Water Aid report, Nepal needs to serve an additional 11,300 households every month to meet the MDG. But the most worrying facts the government's silence on the issue which portrays unwillingness to resolve the looming crisis, contrary to its own policy and strategy document, which has envisioned having universal sanitation coverage(100 percent) in the country by 2017. Nepal needs an annual investment to the tune of Rs.7.5 billion to meet this target.

The main reason behind Kathmandu's unmet and ever-growing thirst are not only rapid urbanisation, uncontrolled population growth and chaotic physical infrastructure development, but also myopic planning, messed up policy environment and mismanagement of the existing water resources. There is for sure a mismatch between demand and supply when a city with such inherent issues grows dramatically. According to an estimate, the total water demand of the Kathmandu Valley is about 220 million liters a day( MLD), while the total supply varies between 88 MLD (40 percent of demand), and 132 MLD (60 percent), of the water is being lost to leaks, theft and so forth portrays how negligent, we have been in terms of managing such a scare resource. It also shows where the room lies for immediate improvement.

However, in rural areas, the issues more of under- exploitation of potential water sources due to lack of resources-both financial and technical. Moreover, social exclusion and oppression of underprivileged communities and ethnic minorities further hinder their access to available water resources in many villages. More importantly, a majority of these communities are not aware of the fact that access to drinking water is their basic human right. Here is a crucial role that non-government organizations or water users associations can play to get them educated about their water rights. Particularly in resources- poor Nepal, biophysical difficulties like rugged terrain and subsequent inaccessibility appear to be other major obstacles in supplying water to the inhabitants of remote areas. Moreover, there is also the misguided perception of considering water and sanitation as symptoms of poverty rather than drivers of poverty.

Another crucial fact for supply-side intervention is that the water issue should never be dealt with in isolation. The multiple usability of water, such as hydro-power, irrigation, industrial and domestic purposes-and its direct impact on health, environment, poverty and social exclusion among others- calls for a holistic approach to water issues. Else, surfacing of conflict related to intra - sub-sectoral use will be likely, as has been the case in severely water-scarce communities.

Water experts have become skeptical about the future of integrated water resource management as there remains no sole authority to take care of the issue after the split of the Ministry of Water Resources into the Ministry of Energy and the Ministry of Irrigation. The fear is that making such a haphazard decision without doing adequate homework opens up avenues for the usual blame-game phenomenon for continuing with the isolated state of affairs at the expense of coherence in sectoral development.

Life, they say, "Is like a river, "not because it is unpredictable and generally mysterious in its course, but because it just keeps flowing on a nd on without waiting for anybody "or a thing. It is as similar as the vacillation of clouds, the expansion of impulses, the kindling of our emotions and the fluctuations of our ever-dynamic psychological behavior.

Moreover, life thrills from moment to moment. There is neither ultimate happiness nor sorrows; there are changes, but fortunately, what emerges from the currents of its uncertainty is not a gospel if fatalism. In my understanding, life evolves itself as an ascent of the spirit, which progressively liberates itself by means if its surreptitious evolutionary forces, soaring towards the higher altitude of its own consciousness.

Anyone with, some potent power of observation can perceive and sense the play of invisible forces every moment, which act on humans and bring about events without their knowing. But the play of life is very complex, so one has to be conscious of it, and have to watch how they work before one can really understand- why things happen as they do and not as we want.

Now, we are compelled to ask- what is life? There have been many definitions of life by men and women bestowed with pristine mind, but none of them have actually taught the perfections of life.

"Life is nothing but the play of universal forces, acting within and against each other," is my opinion. I may be wrong, or may be right, but let me state firmly that, whatever life is, the universal majority of us are only instruments. We are just actors, who are moved about like puppets, knowing northing, not even our inner understandings, but yet the material atmosphere contaminates us.

Moreover, there us a state of ignorance in which, we do a thing and believe that it was us, who decided it. Then there is a state if semi-ignorance in which, we do a thing knowing that we were created to do it, but yet we do not know how and why. But there is the state of consciousness too, in which we are fully aware of our actions and its probable reactions. Hence, if we do not regulate our activities, our life will become more and more agitated.

Nevertheless, knowing oneself is the most ambidextrous task in the earth. It is as difficult as chasing our own shadow and as tough as breaking the icicles of the Himalayas. But the truth is: the more you know yourself the more you will explore the unexplored.

"We are not only what we know of ourselves but immensely more, which we do not know; our momentary personality is only a bubble on the ocean of our existence," wrote Sri Aurobindo, and I agree with him, completely.

Whatever the definition of life may be, folks, let your line be the spark of the love that ignites the lamp of the soul, and let your life be the spark of the light that ignites the lamp of the world.

After reading several articles on the disputed concept of 2012, the end of the world, and watching hundreds of videos on You Tube, I finally decided to write about it.

Many contemporary scientists and astrologers have written books on 2012, and they have different opinions and ideas regarding it. Some believe that the world will come to an end in the year 2012 because of a mysterious supernova, natural disasters and polar shift while others discard it.

As there are always two sides of the coin, I believe that we should listen to different opinions coming from different sides and experts.

The idea of 'polar shift' was first suggested by Albert Einstein in 1955. Recent studies have suggested that 'polar shift' has happened in the past, and is likely to occur in coming day. If that happens, the entire earth will change its position with rocking earthquakes and risking tsunami flood and natural catastrophe. On a similar account, many astronomers have predicted that,the earth will be inexact alignment to the sun and the center of the Milky Way galaxy in Dec, 21, 2012. They say that such event called as 'galactic alignment' occurs only once in every 25,800 years. No one can exactly predict the effect of such alignment on earth. But they believe that it will be disastrous. Similarly, many astronomers believe on "Mayan Calendar' which predicts the end of time coming during the same date.

The world has evolved from Stone Age to agricultural, and has gradually moved towards industrial age and now it has reached to the technological. advancements we have, we still do not have a control over nature.

None of the above discussed predictions can be asserted as true or false. However, it would not be wrong to state that the world is currently facing several problems-both natural and human induced-which may be suggesting that 'something huge' is coming on our ways. Take for example, Haiti earthquake disaster, which killed almost 300,000 people. There is another recent incident of Chile, where around 700 people were killed by earth-quake, tsunami and floods. Similarly, people in the Western Europe are reportedly facing a tough time with winter and snow. So, where is all this leading to?

Million dollar question to ask is:What are we doing? Is there nothing that we can do to prevent it from coming? The world leaders are after their own national agendas and interests. Sadly enough, they could not come together to the conclusion in the recently concluded Copenhagen conference on climate change. It seems that the money matters to us more than human lives and the earth. If the same pattern continues where climate change issues are ignored, mass killings are rampant, and religious and racial wars are raged, the earth will definitely be (or already is) in danger, as the proponents of 2012 concept believe and tell us.

Pollution is a term generally understood for causing disorder, discomfort and harm to environment, plants and animals including that of human being Pollution makes the city look filthy and disorganized, creates stink in their, and generates numbers other visible and invisible environmental and health problems.

Among others, plastic is apparently one of the most harmful pollutants due to its non biodegradable nature. Some plastic bags, it is proved, can last in the environment for up to a thousand year.

In order to understand the problems created by plastic, Nepal's pollution picture is enough. In Nepal, it is hardly possible to see a place in the urban are as where plastics are not thrown away. One just needs to stand up at a place and look around to see plastic bags, bottles, covers of different pro ducts thrown here and there. Sadly, even our rural areas are not beyond the reach of plastic. .Plastic pollution is spreading here, there and everywhere.

Due to plastic pollution, our drainage system is being jammed, flow of rivers is being dirtied . Not only this plastic pollution is a major cause for several; other intangible harms done to animals. For instance, birds and animals like stray dogs and cows may get sick by the consumption of plastic .Most alarmingly, even innocent children may chew and swallow the plastic reduces fertility of a land because of its non-biodegradable feature. Even burning of its is not a solution as burning of plastic generates toxic fume.

If plastic is responsible for such horrible consequences, why don't we avoid its use? One of the reasons is because of its easy usage.

Number of things can be done to reduce the plastic pollution. First, there is a need of spreading awareness on negative consequences of plastic use. Plastic is mostly used as carry bags, for packaging and for covering the products which can be replaced by use of paper and other materials. Most importantly, we need the commitment and will power to protect our environment and our earth.

Besides, we need proactive people like Huta Rama Vaidya who have been continuously working for the conservation of Bagmati River through Save Bagmati Campaign. If we will try and reduce waste, and use less packing, and recycle more, then certainly things will get better.

Wild about tigers

A global campaign has been launched to double the number of big cats by 2022

It will not be easy to double the number of tigers in the wildin12 years. Yet, a global campaign launched in the Chinese Year of the Tiger seeks to do just that by 2022, the next Chinese Year of the Tiger. Ambitious it may be, but the Worldwide Fund for Nature (WWF) campaign TX2-Double or Nothing plans to better conserve tigers in the wild-not in zoos or farms.

It's going to be a Herculean task for sure. "Conserving tigers is not like poultry farming, " says wildlife biologist Dr. Prahlad Yonzon of Resources Himalaya, anon-governmental organization . "It's going to be an extremely challenging task. " At the turn of the last century, over 1000.000 tigers-of eight subspecies-roamed the planet. Only 3,200 tigers survive in the wild today.

When we observed the last Year of the Tiger 12 years agoin1998, between 5,000to7,000 tigers survived in the wild. I was a cub reporter back then, covering a range of socio-political and environmental issues. The conservation fraternity, chief the WEF, was urging governments and people to do more to save the critically endangered big cats.

Then, experts' prognosis was bleak. They suggested that"only a few hundred tigers would be left in the wild in a handful of reserves by 2010, the next year of the Tiger. That turned out to be true. Reason? After the1998 hoopla, things got back to square one-poaching and illegal trade in tiger organs continue unabated, and the wild tiger population declined by40 percent during the 12 years.

Out of the 3,200 tigers in the13 tiger range countries, Nepal has 121 adult wild tigers left with around 30 lost in the last five years thanks to poaching . India has 1,400 left; itlost32 tigers to poachers in 2009. Nepali officials take pride in the fact that the number of tigers didn't drop drastically despite the decade-long conflict that the nation endured. Yet conservation are worried.

Why save tigers?

Yes, why worry about the big cats when humanity is faced with much bigger problems? That's the question asked by all and sundry. In Nepal, these are common questions:"Why write about rhinos and tigers when people are confronted with so many problems? Why bother about wildlife when our politics is not right, when we are facing conflict?

The word is: Endangered species of flora and fauna need more attention and subsequent protection. Together with humans and other species, they form the planet's web of life; totally inter-related and interdependent; each incomplete without the other just like the five fingers in our hand. And the tiger remains at the top of the food chain, devouring everything from peacocks and monkeys to buffaloes and humans for survival..

In the healthiest locales, though, it loves to hunt deer that live on green grass, fresh air and fresh water. It's important to conserve all the species in the food chain. And it's important to conserve the tiger's habitat: pristine tropical forests such as the Tarai Are Landscape spread cross north India and sough Nepal.

What has Nepal done?

In recent decades, a lot has been done in Nepal to protect nature. When wild tigers numbered less than100 in the1970s, Chitwan National Park was set up; Bardia National Park and Parsa and ShuklaPhanta wildlife reserves followed later. Each nature reserve-or tiger reserve, so to say -adjoins similar reserves across the border in India.

Even as the human population explodes across the Tarai Arc, the good news is this: The parks and reserves are connected by several green corridors which wildlife like the tiger use to move around and travel across a much larger eco-region spread between the Yamuna River in the West and the Bagmati in the east.

If green corridors such as community-or state-owned forest patches can be preserved and further developed between the almost isolated nature reserves, wildlife like elephants, tigers and rhinos can move freely from, say, Rajaji-Corbett in Uttarakhand to Dudhwa -Bardia, and from Katarniaghat in Uttar Pradesh to Chitwan-Parsa. Sounds like a dream, yet that's within the realm of possibility . If only Nepal and India could work together.

If the number of tigers in the wild are to be doubled, that dream must come true. For experts agree that the Tarai Arc does have the potential to multiply tigers. After the much-publicised Kalapatthar (Everest base camp) cabinet meeting, the government unveiled plans to set up new protected areas, including Banke National Park, east of Bardia. The beauty of Banke is that it's right in the middle of the Tarai Arc Landscape.

Yet, concerns remain, Pointing out that paperwork and conferences alone won't do, experts say the government must do something to end the conflict between parks and people, the conflict between tigers and villagers have fallen prey to maraunding tigers. "But what has the government done? "asks Yonzon of Resources Himalaya. "Has it compensated the victims on time?"

Tiger consumers

Most importantly, as the Chinese demand for tiger merchandise grows in the Year of the Tiger, Nepal must ensure its tigers aren't poached; and that its territory is no longer used as a transit to trade tiger and other wildlife products. Having riped in like- minded conservationists-and having added some glamor to the campaign by appointing Miss Nepal as its conservation ambassador- the WWF campaign has got off to a flying start. Congratulations!

In the Year of the Tiger, the WWF plans to prod Nepal m into signing separates deals with India and China to end the continuing illegal trade in tiger and other wildlife organs besides helping Nepal to set up a Wildlife Crime Control Bureau. In September, the WWF in conjunction with the World Bank and other partners are planning to get the heads of state of the 13 tiger range counties and the tiger consuming countries together in Vladivostok, Russia. There, a renewed high-level global commitment to conserve tigers in the wild is expected.

As the world talks tiger, it's time to end the conflict between parks and people, end poaching and illegal trade, create a conservation -friendly environment, develop wildlife corridors and conserve the Tarai Arc . Only that can make a difference 2022 .

As the deadline for the new constitution but help noticing the great role our political parties are playing in bringing what they themselves proclaim from the housetops "the people's dream of writing and enforcing their own constitution" to fruition. The Constituent Assembly elections held held in the 2008 were greeted enthusiastically by the present setof our leaders and there was euphoria all around that the primary - and by far the most important - task of farming the constitution will be duly accomplished in time. But it soon became clear to all discerning obsrvers that the elections were meant to send one or the other party to the seat of power in Singha Durbar rather than the parties uniting to frame the constitution.

The Maoist chief at a programme threatened to launch yet another agitation if the constitution was not enforced on time. (There is nothing new about what he said as he has been epressing such "revolutionaly" sentiments time and again.) Yet it is this very party that has become an obstacle in one way or the other to the framing of the constitution. The obstruction began after the Maoists' Chief of Army Staff debacle and the party's exit from government. Even a small fry in the CA, the Rastriya Prajatantra Party Nepal, is warning of"grave consequences" if the constituionis not drafted on time.

And as the clock ticks, there are indications that the constitution may not indeed be drafted on time. There are those who advocate an extension of the time limit through an amendment to the Interim Constituiion. There are politicians who see dooms day the country if the constituion is not drafted by the deadline. And there are some civil society activists who say that the constituion should be written on time one way or the other, and then once the constituion comes into force, one can go on adding necessary amendments to the national statute as if the constituion of a country is a plaything that can keep on which political party comes to power and commands a two-thirds (or three-fourths depending on how the new constituion provides for changes) majority in the national assembly.

And why, it is appropriate to ask, are the CA members being led astray from their main task: the drafting of a new constituion. The 600 plus members of the CA are being paid with the people's money to undertake wht is being called the most imporant task. The running of the day-to-day business of the government is just a secondary- but nonetheless important-task of the CA. This is why party whips are said to be not opertive in the constitution making process, giving each of the CA members the freedom to voice their own feelings on the proposed constituion and to vote according to their conscience and belief. Yet the concept is poles away from what is atually happening in the CA. No wonder all well-wishers including civil society and the international community are calling on the political parties to unite less to govern the country try than to draft the new constitution.

The High Level Policital Mechanism (HLPM) - what ever that means - was set up to resolve differences among the political parties. The HLPM was rocked by controversy from the very beginnings it seemed to bypass the government and the country's top executive. The UN mission in Nepal had welcomed the formation of the HLPM in the hope that it would bring the parties together in order to frame a generally acceptable constitution. (No constitution anywhere in the world can be acceptable to all the people). But the HLPM led by the octogenarian Nepal Congress leader has been running into one impasse or the other even when the convenor is well and is ableto conduct the HLPM meetings. The Maoists are said to have even told the HLPM that it should seriously consider replacing the present 20-plus party coalition government by a "national" government led by - who else? - the Maoiss or by the same octogenarian NC leder who, in the past seen to be pliant to the Maoists.

All the political parties in Nepal say that they place the interests of the country and the people as their highest priority, but all seem to make a mad rush for power in an environment where farming the constitution and not governmance is the top-most priority. The Maoists who unwisely left the seat of power now seem desperate for it, and in effect are saying that unless they leada new government, the drafting of a new constitution would be impossible. And to top it all, the governments formed after the CA elections have not been ableto govern as well as they should have. One of the most glaring examples is the failure to restore law and order in the country and to provide secutiry to the people. The everyday reports to killins, abductions and robberies are just a few examples.

The Interim Constitution unfortunately has made no provision for a neutral government till the time a new a new constitution is framed and elections held under the new constitution. Aneutral government for the interim period would have been ideal as the parties would have concentrated onwriting the constitution instead of cravin for power and gaining all the benefits, legal and semi-legal, that political offies in this country bring. However one looksatit, the present antics of the political parties and their cadres and workers, such asstheYoung Communist League and the youth Force, have only helped to discredit such parties and erode the people's faith in them. Such a situtation will be a bad omen for the country. This is why we should not forget that our primary duty is to frame a generally acceptable constitution; and for this, all the political parties need to unite, giving up some of their cherished objectives, if need be, in the greater interest of the people.

t is time to think of creative ways of helping build connections with Nepal and the older generation

Will the young Nepali diaspora lose their connections with the old ones both in Toronto and back in my home country? Grown ups in Toronto I came in touch with during the last one and half years I have been here are worried lot." But we have to deal with Canadian realities, "my friend Diplov tells me. Is this a betwixt life, then? Many of the Nepali families migrated recently with some grown up kids. These kids are going to schools inToronto. Some of themhave moved to colleges and universities.

Toronto is perhaps the most diverse city on earth. Ride the underground sub-way trains and the world appears before you-the mosaic of faces tht my anthropology proffesssor showed us in our first calss in the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill. Schools are not much different except, perhaps, in some areas where you see the predominnce of one ethnic/cultural group. These exclusive places are becoming rarer in toronto as new immigrants arrive and as the young kids grow up in the immigrant families. When the children of Nepali migrants go to these schools, they meet the world that a much beyond their Nepali home. They have to extend themselves into the world.

It was not hard to adjust to this world, Diplov told me. Teachers were nice and helpful. But for a while it was a bit confusing. It was not language as such, but the world was totally different, until we became a part of it.

Some of the angst is the product of this need to constantly jostle between the ecounter with the broader world and their home front built around certain parental expecttions. Parental expectations mainly come in two ways, says Diplav, a third year student majoring in international business at the University of Toronto at Scarborough. The bigest worry isabout the way the young ones conduct their leave and sexual lives. Many parents, not all, used as they are with the idea of control and regulating the sexual lives of their children, find it hard to accept the fact that young ones explore these things early on. This crates an interesting dynamics. The male children often are a lot freer than the femalies. But you could see why young Nepalis want to get out of the clutches.

The career paths ae no less contentious. The emphasis is always on fields that will result in high pays -e.g computer science, medicine, business or finance, although the later two seems to have gotten some breating after the colapse are considered to be doint less than, adequate. Quareels over choices andlovelives are not uncommon, many have told me during my one and half years' stay in Toronto.

These to main issues aside, the question about losing connection with their tradition is a constant theme. Nepali community is not demographically significant in Toronto, with a best estimate of around 8,000 living in Greater Toronto Area. Within the city, they are scattered into differerent neighbourhoods. Many in the Nepali communities have been discussing the ways the grown up potentially help their kids connect with Nepal. The proposals I have heard range form establishing Hindu temples to building a Nepali resource centre. In December 2009, in a meeting organised to discuss the idea about Nepali Community Centre,one of the participants had argued that we had to go for building a Hindu temple because over 98 perent of Nepali communities are Hindus.

A friend of mine told me about how other communities very actively cultivate their culture and religion in their kids. For instance, according to him, Tamils take their kids to their temples regularly. Wouldn't it be niceto have our own temples with our own priests? he asked. The young ones, based on my limited interaction with them, do not seem to be keen.

"We have to make it to this world," many say. What does that mean? That we cannot be in a ghetto. Instead, wht about extending ourselves into the Wrold? Given the conditions in which Nepali immigrant communities are in, it is perhaps time to think of more creative ways of helping the young build connections with Nepal and the older generations. One way would be to encourage them to travel to Nepal regularly. Many are doingthat, although it is no feasible for many to do that reularly given the cost and time involved in this long distance travel.

What does it mean to build connections with the old generation? Obbiously, one is to give respect to them. Most do, but the modes of paying respect have changed. But more creative ways would be doing things that can help them learn about lives in Nepal through the stories hat old can tell them.

For instance, it might be a good idea to explore if a small group of high school Nepali students in Toronto can video interview old people. Many ofthemare either residing inToronto with their sons and daughters or visiting them from Nepal. The students can make a projecst of understanding various aspecsts of Nepali lives that these old people might have lived. For instance, they can ask old people about their villages. They can ask them about how men and women shared or did not are work.They can ask how caste system used to work and how it is working now. They can ask them about thgings changing in their villages and towns.

Or, what kind of food they used to eat? What vegetables did they grow? What kinds of sons did they sing or hear? How did they celebrate festivals? How did they farm? How did all of these things changes in their lifetiems?

Making old people the subject of their inquiry would be one great way to recognise the old genertion and make them feel that they are valued : that they are not simple repositories of
superstitious beliefs, but active makers of their own lives and active chroniclers of the days gone by.

This project then could be complemented with more footage of Nepali lives that the students can make when they visit Nepal. Digital videos have become cheap enough these days to explore this. This canleadto makingof a powerful documentry on changing lives in Nepal as lived and told by the old people. Both in Nepal and outside this connection between generations are coming under tremendous strains as people are constantly on the move. There is no substitute onthe move. There is no substiture to long and enduring connections.

This documentary then can be screened in high schools where Nepali students go to or in the local libaries. Young disapora could be an important medium for that. Instead of ask in them to confirm to regulated lives, this kind of projecsts could go a long way in building genuine bonds based on mautual respect and recognition.

The reforms have proven insuffieinet to check illegal adoptions!

The process of inter-country adoption of children from Nepal has never been free of controversy. In 2007, when it surfaced that many orphanges made lucrative business sending children out of the country, inter-country adoptions from Nepal were temporarly suspended; the orphanges that didn't meet the minimum government criteria were closed down. Inter-country adoptions were restarted in 2008- partly owing to the pressure of the adoptions parents abroad who had already completed the necessary paper work. To close the existing loopholes, the Ministry of Women, Children and Social Welfare was made the final authority on all international adoptions.

But the latest survery report of the Hague Conference on Private International Law makesit clear that many of those loopholes remain. The report pointed out, among othters flaws, the continuiing stream of falsified documents being presented to faciliate adoption process. The conference report is based on the Swiss-funded charity Terre des homes' study which found that 60 perent of children in Nepali orphanges malpracticed, the Conferene hs urged Nepal to suspend inter-country adoptions until rigorous provisions to safeguard child rights are put in place.

Opinions inside the country are divided on the report. But there does seem to be some truth to the claims of wrongdoing by those involved in the process. Besides Terre des homes', the UNICEF has also been voicing its concerns time and again about the trend' of abduction, trafficking and selling of Nepali children.

It isn't surprising that some unscrupulous middlemen are exploiting the loopholes in existing laws considering the money involved: Prospectiveparents have to pay US $5,000 to foster homes before adopting a child. But, according to some children rights activists, much more changes hands as orphanges persuade parents to part with thier childeren through lucrtive offers. And if there any truth to the allegations make by the Hague Conference, it is likely tht some of the certified orphanges are engaged in the unholy business. But money is not all that is being offered to biological parents. Some parents, it has emerged, are given to understand that their children are being taken away for education.

The reforms introduced in 2008 have thus proven insufficient to halt illegal inter-country adoption. Some problems, for a time being, seem intractable. For instance, the government is finding it devilishly hard to vet the parents for their intent. How do the authorities find out if the biologial parents ae putting up their children for adoption owing to their financial constrints or due to monetary incentives from orphanges? Hard as these problems are to tackle, the trend of profiteering from children is unlikely to stop unless they are. What is underniable is that whatever step the government takes, it has to be with the best interest of children in mind. The monetary stakes governemnt and the orphanges are clearly secondary here.

Has your "Things to do list" run out of spaces? Do you complain each time your cell phone rings but still rushto answer it? Is your assigned task twice as large as the"finished" one? Have you failed to notice that your children hve surpassed their puberty? Is your life rugged and uneven, as is the smile upon your countenance? If these sounds like you, then you need to change the mode of your life -- learn how to "maximise happiness".

You may be richer than most of them; you alsowork harder, takeless vacation and take your life seriously. But are you happy? Remember, life is not only about maximising happiness. Up to a point money may be important, and then time becomes more important than money. Research has shown that even rats will "swim" more effecdtively and efficiently when given a brief break between stressors. So, as you begin your typical"rat race day", modify it to locate potential brief breaks which will add up to restful hours and a longer life.

Examine your life. Take a break from your busy schedule andask yourself, "Am I happy with my life?" If you are happy then carry onwith your life but if you are sad then change the course because the course you travel determines the happiness of your life. Explore your passion, discover your potentials, focus on your dreams and devote your time to make a differnece and stick with it like a limpet to the rock. And thinkthose thoughts that invigorate you and not those that drain you -- for what you think and how you act expands your boundary of happiness.

Create your own road, pave it with the labour and saunter on its path no matter how tough the road becomes becaue obstacles test the limits of our hart but the comfortable road compresses our core. Isn't it the valuor of our heart whch sows the seeds of happiness in our life?

You will fail from time to time no matter how hard you try. But be not afraid of the failure. Greet it wth a smile, and perceive in its face the scattered randiance of success. Join them one by one. and watch the wonder -- feel its charm and grace. Let courage and not luck determine the happiness of your life.

We strive to be happy but real happy are those who make other happy. Devote your life to the service of the humanity and march ahead with an underviating vision. The visionless people will perish but the people with vision will flourish because vision provides hope and hope provides dream and dream provides the joy of living.

Finally, live your life to the fullest. If you feel like smiling, by all means do -- but you don't want to. The most important things is the peace of mind; it loosens up those tight lines around the heart and makes you cool and composed. Is there any companion as salubrious as the peace of mind?

I had just adjusted mself into a seat of a micorbus when a boy -must be a student, I thought-scrambled into the already crammed vehicle. Ouch! He had stepped on my left toe. It took a while for the pain to subside. What irked me more than the pain was that he had muddied my shoe which I had spent a good 25 minutes shining. I was about to shout at him. But before I could say anyting, 'Sorry !he said. 'It's okay', is all that I could say in reply. 

How often do you encounter this beautiful word-sorry? And how frequntly do you use it?

Let's imagine a world without the word 'sorry'. How difficult things would have beebn without this jargon! It indeed is a magic word that works miracles, or is supposed to anyhow. 

A week or two ago, I was ina bus to Baneshwor. A manin hurry wanted to get off at Babar but  on the way he stumbled and feel as another gentleman was stretching with anger, was about to give the other guy a piece of his mind but a timely 'Sorry!' again doused the fallen main's fury.

We cannot thank the English people enough for inventing the word 'sorry'. But in the meantime, we must confess that we tend to overuse the word andin doing so, most of the times we misue it.

If you forget something, you say sorry; miss the dead-lin, repeat the word. It's aseasy as ABC. It's good to apologise for a mistake but should not an apology be honest ? Just because 'sorry takes us out of troubles on some occasions, how ustifiable is it to accommodate this beautiful jargon in our day-to-day life at our convenience?

Have you ever pondered how often you have tried to look into the eyes of the person whom you are saying 'sorry'? If you don't why not? How many times the counterpart has taken your 'sorry' seriously?

To err is human and if we are going toask for an apology for a mistake, let's make sure that it comes straight from the heart, not just for the heck of it and definietly not superficially. Ldet's not do injusstice to such an extraordinary terminology.

Let's be apologitic and modest but let's not forget to add a whole lot of honesty, gentleness and authenticity when we say 'sorry'. Sorry is the word of humble people . Let's wise up to its use. Yes, 'sorry' helps sort tihings out but 'sorry does not make a dead man alive. 

The next time you are about toutter the fated word, give it a second thought. An unthought-of 'sorry' or an in sincere one is no 'sorry' at all. Sorry ifI confuse you.

There has been little researchinto the glaciers of the Himalayas

After the University of East Anglia's email scandal, climate sceptics now believe they have another cause for celebration. Some British paper claimed this week that climate change "theories" are in doubt beause of the retraction of an unfounded claim in an Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change report from 2007.

The iteam alleged that the glaciers of the Himalays could disappar by 2035. It was drawn from a campaigning report by the WWF, which had taken it from an interview with an Indian glaciologist pubsished years earlier in New Scientist. It was not based on peer-reviewed sciene and should not have been included in the IPCC's fourth assessment report.

However, what is really worrying about the report is how little it has to say about the future of the Himalayas-Hindu Kush, a region on which nearly 40 percent of the world's population depends for whater. There was a striking lack of useful data on the possible fate ofthe largest store of fresh water outside the poles-and no available fieldwork, it would appear, on glaciers tht feed all the major river system of Asia.

There is a further worrying unknown: what impact might the loss of the Himalayan glaciers have on the monsoon, on which food security in south Asia depends? When the report was under prepartion, it seems that the science of this region-- one of the world's most sensitive and volatile-- was a balck hole.

There are reasons for this lack of data. There are tens of thousands of glaciers that are difficult and expensive to get to. They are scattered across three major weather systems and countless microclimates. The countries inwhich they lieare not good neighbours and have little history of scientific co-operation.

To be a glacier scientist in tropical and temperate zones requires both scientific training and mountaineering skills. In most of the Himalayas, those with mountaineering skills are tribal people, and those with scientific training middle-class and urban, Since the glaciers lie in some of the most sensitive security regions in the world, scientists from elsewhere can find their work frustrated by national security suspicions.

Studying the glaciers, until recently, was not a high priority. Unlike the Alps, the Himalayas hasa patchy photographic record and the history of scientific glaciology is shot. Climate modelling is unreliable across big variations in altitude, and in the Himalayas it needs to be tested against data collectedon the ground. But the collectionof evenbasic data is sparse: for instance, weater stations on the Qinghai-Tibet plateau were located in town so as to be esy to read. The result was that nothing was known about precipitation at high altitude, where the glaciers are.

 This is one of the msot complex regionsonearth, and there are confusing local variations, such as in the Karakoram, whre glaciers are advancing. But this anomalydoes not alter the overall picture of retreat that affects 80 percent of the region's glaciers, a retreat recorded by the Chinese Academy of Science's extensive inventory.

The people of the region know that climate change haslong-term implications for their water and food security. In the short term, it threatens the energy supplies of all the nations that rely on hydropower to fuel their economies.

Farmers in Nepal are already reportingnew pests anddiseases. Kyrgyzstan, scientists predict, will lose 80% of its water supply. Pakistan and India's greatrivers may become seasonal, and their monsoons erratic. Pakistan and India's great rivers may become seasonal, and yellow rivers will lose volume. The pace and pattern of glacier retreat is urgent, and needs to be understood through science-not dismissed by ignorant scepics.

We are brought into this world without our consent and leave it against our desire. At any moment of life, we are inviting either happiness or misery, whether we like it or not. But as human beings, it is upon us to lead a lifestyle that leads to more happy moments in our lives than sad ones.

Nobody is happy unless he or she is content with himself or herself. The quest for happiness is natural, but it is only possible through mental exercise towards it. Perseverance, strong determination and persistence will help achieve the desired result. If one aims to gain eternal happiness, one should devote some of one;s daily time to meditation, which easier said than done. However, with the lapse of time, it becomes a hobby.

In recent times, life has become a struggle for money, comfort and luxury. Such life ultimately brings anxieties, tensions and diseases, which can be gradually reduced through Transcendental Meditation(TM).

TM is is supposed to be as old as mankind. It is a simple, natural and effective technique which can be practiced by sitting anywhere. It is validated and verified by science. As I said, TM is as powerful as effective. In order to practice such kind of meditation, it is not necessary to change lifestyle and food habit.

During TM, one experienes subtler or finer states of mind. Since there is a close relationahip between body and mind, a change in the mental state corresponds to a change in physical state. During meditation, oxygen consumption decreases and partial pressure of exygen and carbon dioxide in the blood remains constant, resulting ina decrease in cardiac output, brathing and metabolic rates. This has proves to be benficialfor thepatients of highblood pressure and heart diseases. Moreover, patients suffering from insomnia, ulcer, asthma, and other physical or mensal diseases benefit from this technique.

The country is getting complacent about quakes. It can't afford to....

To say that the Haitians weren't prepared for the 7.0 magnitude jolter that hit them last 'Tuesday would be to make a huge understatement. Haitians are among the most wretched people on the planet. The poorest country in the Caribean is routinely buffeted by some of the worst hurricanes anywhere in the world, which result in the loss of thousands of lives It is routine to find houses in Haiti with their windows boarded up with thick wooden planks to ward off gushing winds. But on Tuesday, the trouble came not form the expected route of the sea, but from under the terra firma. Haiti handn't witnessed a major earthquake since the 19th century. People, with no living memory of it, understandably got camplacement. All the while, the pressure generated by the grinding of the tectoniceplates under them had beenbuilding gratually. When the pressure was released at lon last, it was nothing like the Haitians had ever seen. More 100,000 ae now feared dead, over 3000,000 are injured.

Compared to Haiti, Nepal witnesses way more seismic activity as it rests on one of the most active faut lines in the world- at the junction of the Indian and the Eurasian tectonic plates. As a result of the two places scraping agaisnt each other, there is, on average, a major earthquake in Nepal every 65 years. The last big one was in 1934. To wit: An earthquake on a par with the one in Haiti has been over due in Nepal for overa decade.

Kathandu valley, in particular, is sitting ona tinder box. An ancient lake the Valley's floor is made up of soft sendiments, which makefor poor foundation for the houses to bebuilt upon it. The fact that most buildings in the Valley are built without adopting proper safeguards against earthquakes make them doubly dangerous. As much as 60 percent of all buildings in the Valley might collaps in the event of a 7.0 magnitude quake. With over a million in habitants packed like sardines in this small metropolis , the loss of life and property is hard to imagine. Most bridges in the Valley are unsafe even for heavy vehicles, leave alone a major quake. Landline telephone services may not work, and the city is as likely to blakout. No electricity, no phone services, the roads rendered impassable by broken bridges, few ambulances and even fewer fire engines. If something is not done to improve the Valley's infractructure and emergency services right now, the consequences surely won't be pretty. It doesn't help that nearly not enough people are aware of the right procedures to be adopted while in the middle of an earthquake.

Much like the Haitians, the memories of the devastation wrought by the last big tmblkor is fast fading from Nepali memories. They could hence be excused for takingi t a little easty - if they could only afford it.

From:- Kathmandu Post

Do you believe in god? Whenever such a questiion is asked of me, I have a straightforward response: "How can I believe in Him when I have never seen Him? Most of my friends would be content with my response as a scientific logic hidden in my rhetoric. But then, once one of my friends fired back: "Have you ever seen your great grand -parents? "This made me contemplate my own ideas of god.

Admittedly, her comparison between the god almighty and my great grandparents was absurd, but her response also seemed to fit. At the sametime there is nothingin thisworld thatcanmake me believe that there is an almighty god ruling over us. Such a dilemma has become the main source of my interpretation of a man's faith in god.

Curiously enough, I have never given up observing Dashain and Tihar. Whenever I go home to celebrate Dasain, Inever miss to go to the temple of "Khadga Devata". In 'Shiva Ratri', if I do not visit Pashupatinath, I suffer from a sense of unease, Similarly, I cannot remain silent in Shree Panchami, the day of worshipping the goddesss of knowledge -Saraswoti.

Moreover, my relation with God is not limited to just celebrating festivals. I feel His presence over even the msot mundane and trivial things I do ev ereryday. Whenever I go to a hospital to meet some friend or relative, especially who is serious or whose operation is near, I remember god and pray to Him to save the patient. I also contribute to publishing condolences on the death of some one I know, praying that the person rest peacefully in heaven.

Similarly, I have chosen god as the witness in my marriage. I like to take belssing from my elders, in the name of god , at the time of going somewhere and often there is a tika on my forehead.

In this regard, my views look contradictory. I think that even if we can deny the physical existence of god, a psychological existence must be accepted. Although, the concept of of god might be created by human beings, so as to maintain morality in the society, it has become an integral part and guiding forces forthem. A main's faithhas also become his cultural identity, ingrained, insome causes in the way the eats, talks, interacts or chooses to live. Considering this, anyone who loses his faith in god will ultimaltely lose his culture and indentity. It is, therefore, despite not believing in the physical presence of god, my culture and upbringing makes me reluctant of abandone all fatith in him.

Source:- The Kathmandu Post

Once I was going somewhere on a safa tempo. A woman of around 70 climbed in at one of the stops. Her face clearly revealed the tiredness of old age. After sometime, she began to cry and narrate her sad story. She was saying how old age can be a lot of trouble without anyone to take care of you. Her children left her alone and when she visited them, she said, they behaved like complete strangers. They didn't even ask her for a cup of tea. Clearly, their behaviour had hurt her bad.

This is just an example of how old age becomes a burden for any old people in our society. We, the youngsters, readily sympathise with such old victims, but are willing to do no more. We forget that we will also be old someday and likely to meet a similar fate. When people becomes old even their nearest and dearest ones leave their sides. Their hopes of love and proper are from the children, whom they took so much trouble to raise, are dasbed.

Not all people behave like that, but, it becomes intolerable when our 'own' behave like outsiders. Some people become so merciless that they push their old parents into 'Old Houses' instead of nurturing and caring for them. Our society is filled with people who have left their parents in old-age homes and hence have freed themselves of all 'burdens'. It is the way of the world: people get good company in their happiness, but in sorrow even their own leave them.

Today's new generation is so busy that they have little time to spare for their parents. In other words, most people do not want to share their time and feelings with their aging parents. Seldom do they consider how painful it is to suffer at the hands of our 'own'.

There is no doubt that, over time our society is getting more and more eduacated. Nevertheless, we don't seem to be using our knowledeg in right place and in the right way. In case of old people, the problems have remained the same.

People just want to make the lives for their immediate family members wonderful, which they perceive can only be done by sidelining their aging parents. It is about time we change this wrong mentality, whereby we chose to victimise old people for our pleasure. We must teach our children to learn to take care of the old and ailing people in the society. Otherwise, when they get old, they will have few to take care of their needs. Let us rememer. As you do to others, so it will be done to you.

Another look at the year of Tiger, animal rights and the national security policy!

The four-day long Global Tiger Workshop organised by the Global Tiger Initiative under the World Bank concluded on Oct.31 wth the declaration to celebrte 2010 as the Year of Tiger. The workshop was significant in itself as an effort to conserve the depleting population of tigers worldwide. The participants from 13 of the 14 Tiger Range Countries and major donor countries came up with the idea to create global awareness on tiger conservtion and several action plans to achieve the same was declared, though with a few setbacks including the issue of commercial tiger farming.

Tiger farming could be an indirect but effective measure to curb tiger poaching for commercial value; and a more potent anti-poaching laws and strict laws to counter illegal trade of tiger parts could complement the effort for tiger conservation. If the punishiment and penalty fortiger poaching and illegal trade in tiger parts could be made severe and high, then it will not be cost effective for the risk to be taken, which in turn will discourage poaching and illegal use and trade in tiger parts.

Another indirect effort to conserve the wild tiger population is to allow legal tiger farming for commercial use which even otherwise exists in many countires such as China, Cambodia and America. Thus, conservation and meeting commercial demand. In this regard, conservationists as well as donors need to over come their emotional attachement and show a pragmatic approach for the conservation of the elegant animal- the wild tiger. The tiger carries special significnce and has an imporant place in Hindu, Asian and Orientl cultures and religions. Thus and Oriental cultures and religions. Thus to preserve the tiger is also to presrve the cultural values of the region.

It is well justified for the workshop to highlight the tiger and its conservation issues. In the context of conservation, it will be worthwhile to mention the conservtion of some other endangered species too. As per the IUCN Red List of endangered species, some nine species are critically endangered species out of the 1,065 different animal species found in Nepal. These nine lesser known species, mostly birds and the gharial crocodile, have a high risk of becoming extinct in the wild; but the tiger is not one of them. The Gangetic dolphin is an equally endangered species like the tiger; and there are many plants and insects also on the verge of becoming critically endangered species that draw due attention for conservation.

Raising the issue of animal rights will also be relevant in the effort to conserve the tiger population as well as the population of other endangered species. But animal rights activists are focused on less important issues rther than the more important issues of the day. Western animal rights activists are mostly driven emotionally and are guided more by the heart than by the head; and there is name and fame in it. On the other hand, South Asian animal rights activists are mostly direven for their personal benefit and are infatuated more by the Western way of doing it rather than for the perceived cause from the bottom of their hearts.

Let us take the example of the vehement ob jections raised by animal rights activists in Nepasl against raising rhesus monkeys (rto baandar) in captivity by the National Bio-medical Research Centre with an aim to export second generation mondeys bred in captivity to the United States for genetic medical resrch to develop a vaccine agaisnt HIV and TB.

Remaining within the international protocol CITES, the research centre was started with the permission of the Govvernment of Nepal, and Nepal could benefit a lot in the medical sector if a break thorough does take place. The magnitude of the benefit to humanking after the break through to counter the menaces of HIV and TB will be immeasurable. But the National Bio-medical Research Centre could ndot export the monkeys due to the objection and pressure of animal rights activists regardless of the fact that research for developing vaccines is usually based on animals like rats, monkeys and pigs. The results could save millions of people, and if Nepal does not do it, other countries like. Thailand are there to offer facilities and suport, and we will miss the opportunity.

It is amazing why animal rights activists donot raise the issue of cruelty against the millions and millions of fish and other marine lifet hat endure suffering of immeasurable magnitude everyday. Why don't animal rights activists of Nepal object strongly or even protest publicly against the cruelty done to water buffalos for meat, street dogs and stray animals like cows? Just a showcase kind ofprotest andprotests to please donors do not remove the real suffering of the animals that are in dire nedd of care. This shows nothing but the hypocrisy of the rights activist.

One thing we are unaware of is the fact that conseravtion, protection and promotion of rare abd endabgered species of all kinds and types- whether they be humans, animals, birds, aquatic creatures,plants, insects and other species-do come under the purview of the National Security Policy, also known as the Comprehensive Security Policy, of a nation. To make an exampl, the conservation of Kusunda and Raute people among humans, nine critically endangered animal and bird species, and many herbs and plants species found in Nepal which are on the verge of exinction should come under the special attention of the National Security Policy.

These kinds of security concerns are best placed under the headings of " Security of the Population and Gene Pool" and "Ecological Secutiry" of a Comprehensive Secutirity Policy of Nepal. Unfortunately, Nepal does not yet have a Nationa lSecutiey Policy to give the right direction in various spheres of state management and state functioning including conservation of rare and endangered animals, plants and othere species. So it is high time for Nepal to identify the conservation needs and bring synergy out of the concerted efforts of the government, donors and stakeholders.

Today, people around the world are being encouraged to turn vegetarian. Even the designers are adorning their lases with green and leafy lingerie. But the effort to promote vegetarianism has been along and meandering road.

Vegetarianism has been a way life for people of orthodox Nepal society but sadly, for those living the modern life, the opposite seems is true. Similarly, in Europe and America, vegetarianism goes hand in hand with liberalism and fairness. The issue is not only about animal rights but also about growing hunger. As the lifestyle of people in the cities is becoming more extravagant andmet consumption increase, people from the backward classes are suscepitable to disesei and famine more than ever. Cattle rearing and animal husbandry are grain-intensive processes. The amount of water required by cattle and grains is simply unbelievable. The same amount of expense could alleviate the hunger andquench the thirst of many people. Growing number of meat consumers implies an increasingly greater strain on grain supplies. Productive lands in Nepal, whose produce ae scarcely enough to meet basic human requirements, ae already under the threat of extensive and illegal cattle grazing. Thus the trend of increasing meat production is unstable. Put simple, non-vegetarianism adds fuel to the ever accelerating world hunger.

The famed British primacologist Jane Goodall succinctly said. "Thousands of people who say they 'love' animals sit down once or twice a day toenjoy the flesh of creatures that have been utterly deprived of everything that could make their lives worth living and who endured the awaful suffering and the terior of the abattoirs". These hypocritical celebrities don't care to live by the principles they preach. Sharing the same society, it is imperative we respect the needs of week and helpless beings.

It is popular assumption tht slaughterhouses should be at some distance from the place of residence as such a distance aids meat digestion. Thankfully, not everyone is such a hypocrite. Animal right organisations are trying hard to alleviate the heart-wrenching condition of animals in these slaughterhouses by promoting vegetarianism and the suffering of poverty-stricken people.

FAO research shows tht global livestock production constitutes around 18 percent of total green-house gasemissions. This figue is expected to double becaue of increasing meat consumption. This study shows sthe role played by our diet in contributing to climate change, which can nonetheless be reduced in short time by turning vegetrian. It is quite a dififficult task but it is the only hway to go to save our planet froma catastrophe.

Perhaps, next time when we visit the market we should think about what we are doing and make a wise and ecological purchase. Remember, what we do today determines howgreen the future is.

She was greeting all the passengers enterinthe aircraft with her dazzling smile. The passengers seemed to be in a rush to board the plane to Pokhara. The Nameste offered by the air hostess was greeted differently by different people. When it was my turn to get in, she gain greeted me with an energetic smile and Nameste. I greeted back with Namaste too. Each time I travel by domestic plane, I see the same greeting from the air hostess. By in the first time I boarded a domestic flight, I was very confused to watch passengers ignor in the greeing offered by the air hostess.

The last time I had got into the plane, a quetion hit me. Why almost all passengers from Nepal ignore the greeting? Foreign passengers, I found, always returned the greeting. Basically, Namaste is a respectful greeting. It honous people and in our culture indicates the respect and admirtion for those being greeted. It brings people closer. In the same way, we find people from other countries greet with hello, hi and other greetings.

I just couldn't get the cavalier attitude of Nepali passengers out of my mind. To placate my curiosity, I talked with an air hostess serving in a domestic airline on my way to Nepalgunj form Kathmandu. Why did she think most Nepali passengers never bothereed to acknowledg eher greeting? She said, "People believe that sincerely have paid for the journey, they need not do any more. These self-important ant people make me laugh." Nilima has experienced that many Nepalis travelling indomestic aeroplane, especially the rich ones, never respond to her greeting. "Look, the foreigners always respond without hesitation. They honour us for we honour them, "Nilima says. To say that Nilima is disapointed at the cold response of her fellow countrymen while the foreigners treat her with respecst would be huge understatement.

I don't get it. Why were our pride on our sleevers unnecessarily to make ohers feel bad and sad? Doing Nameste is our culture and we should try to respond to it gracefully.

During my last trip, when the aeroplane landed in Pokhara and as people were getting out, the air hostess, as usual, offered her Namestes; unfortunately almost all Nepali passengers totally ignored her.

If we want to get respecst from ohers we need to know how to respect them. If not, we won't even be able to respect ourselves. No matter who greets you, you give a measure of your acculturisation and civility responding to the greeting. When I greeted the air hostess at Pokhara with a, she smiled back coyly. I bid goad bye her and disappeared into Pokhara city.

We always keeps misplacing key ring. We serarch the whole house, end to end, and after a serch of many hours, when we are tired and want to forget the whole thing, lo and behold, we find the stupid thing staring at us, mocking at our forgetfulness right there beside the telephone or on top of the fridge. And at once the tension is released.

Why is it that some people misplace things often while others don't ?

I runmaged through Freudian literature for an answer. Freud in his Psychopathology of Everyday Life provides numerous expample of how simple acts of forgetfulness or errors of speech or some such innocent looking slip give clues to unravelling the secrets of someone's personality. In all his forgetful subjects, he found one thing in common: the concerned person's psyche was divided. The conflict between what you think others like you to do, and the more animal, asocial urges buried inside you, is the ultimate cause behind forget-fulness and other simple everyday errors. And, if the conflict is intense, it can even lead to neuroses of different kinds.

Does it mean, then, that on a deeper level my wife does want to lose her key ring, which is why'she keeps lossingit? It appears to be cruel and foolish to say tht she loses the keys wilfully.

Common sense would tell us that we forget about emotionally unimportnt event. We do not apply our entire mind to the problem at hand, like, for example, putting the pen in your briefcase and not in your coat pocket because you ae preoccupied with somethingelse. And thenwhenyou rach yourwork place and search for the pen, you do not find it. It happens with all of us and it' nothing to be woriied about. But when such things happens regularly, the problem becomes pathological.

After learning this much, I was stuck then I remembered the term called "mindfulness," I had come across the word in Buddhist litrature. Mindfulness means being aware of the work you are doing while you are doing it. The concept is illustrated by the story of a man, desperately seeking enlightenmejnt before hedied. He went to Gautam Buddha who spoke to him only a few words. He spoke thus, "In your seeing in your hearing nothing but hearing; in your smelling, tasting, touching nothing but smelling, tasting, touching; in your cognising nothing but congnising. " And the learned man, hearing this and realising its import achieved libertion. Howerver, the "Yaksha Prasana" is how to get into that state of mindfulness. But tht is an entirely different story.

The states's duty towards aged people doesn't end with 500 bucks per month

All creatures on this earth are mortal, including human beings. There are different stages in one's life. Childhood, adolescence, youth, adulthood and old age are the major stages of human life. Every creature on earth is born, grows up, becomes old and eventually dies. It is the law of nature. Human beings also come under this law of nature. The geriatric stage is the climax of physical passivity. Physical weakness, mental tension, weaknesses in the digestive system, changes in the physical structue like wrinkles, stooping, poor eyesight and hearing, weakness in tolerance and shaking of the hands and legs are symptoms of old age. All these processes keep on intensifying with increasing age. They make people passive and hinder their active life.

Scientists have found that due to physical prosperity and scientific process, the average human lifespan has increased considerably. Nepal also can't remain untouched by this process.According to official data, about 6.5 percent of the total pupulation is above 60 years old. This means the number of aged people is more than 1.8 million.

Due to the factor of degraded physical status during the retired life of an aged person, one starts to feel a weakening in one's social dignity. It makes one more and more worried. The factor of nuclear families and busy lifestyles has naturally degraded the care-taking and nursing of senior citizens. Due to the increasing number of nuclear families, it is making aged people feel lonely, helpless, neglected and worried to a great extent. Due to the gradual degradation of the Nepali tradition of living ina joint family, aged people are facing extreme difficulties. Moreover due to increasing urbanization and industrial and commercial activities, working members of the family leave home early in the morning and the aged people have to stay all alone in the house. Even in rural areas, aged people have to pass their days alone in the house. They have to console themselves that it is the mercy of God or fate. Moreover, aged people also have to tolerte family scorn, disrespect and abhorrence. In particular, aged people of poor economic status have to endure extreme torture and disrespect.

The government hasn't launched any campaign specially targetting aged people. We can say that not a single action has been carried out for senior citizens except running avery few old-age homes. The state has increased the old-age allowance from Rs.200 to Ts. 500. The responsibility of the state towards aged people does not end with a paltry Rs 500 per month. Certainly, great discussions have been held, and some policies and procedures have also been made regrding the responsibility of the state towards old people.However, they have been limite to paper. If the poliicies and procedures of the government could be transformed intol aw, it would be implemented in practical life.

The work plan approved by Vienna conference on aged people in 1982 was implemented by the UN in 1991 as a principle. Before this, an international conference on population held in Mexico had approved the norm that states should create an evironment for utilizing the knowledge, experience and skill of aged people for economic and commercial advancement. Subsequently, the UN made an appeal to celebrte international aged people to celebrate internaional aged people's day annually. In 2001, the government made a functional policy on senior cistizens with the objectives of providing appropriate respect and protectionto aged people and utilizidng their capability, expercience and knowledge. However, the policy remains on paper in a cupboard at the Ministry of Women, Children and Socil Walfare.

The country is at the stage of writing a new constitution. Utilization of the experience, knowledge, skill and capability of senior citizens by the state to provide them a respectable lie would be justified and beneficial for both the state andthe senior citizens. Old people are not a burden but bliss for the family, society and the state. Therefore, if it is written in the new constitution to enlighten every citizen of the country that the state can make great progress with their experience and skill, the senior citizens could realize their responsibility. In this respect, the senior cistizens would feel proud that they are aged. To crate the concept that becoming old is not a curse or burden for the family but actually happiness, the state should make clear laws, rules and policies. Therefore, the Constituent Assembly should take a concdrete decision regarding senior citizens.
 

If we could insert a provision in the constitution requiring the formulation and implementation of laws for senior citizens, the family and society could feel respect and a necessity for them. For the economic, social, health and entertainment security of old people, the provisionof state facilities and their participation in development should be mentioned in the constitution. the state can fix the facilities by classifying aged people into those who receive a pension and those inrural areas who don't receive it. Particularly, the state should provide for appropriate management of the timely utilization of the capability, skill and experience of senior citizens. This would not only provide them respect and facility, it is also the state's duty to do so.

A mid the divisive and reactive political scenario chequered by petty upheavals, paradoxes and rows, Dashain has got into the every home yard. At times, Nepalese have got rid of decade-long bloody insurgency; it has heralded the onset of little bit therapeutic festivity to all in general. Nevertheless, political conforntation, grievances and cacophonies, unbearable price hike of daily commodities and nver-wrenching accidents are not over.Dashain, in this sense, has come as a strain as well that the common people have to afford everything and manage wisp of happiness to share despite the plight of complicationns.

Commoners seem to be over-whelmed by the festive frenzy. Notwithstanding, their traumas of bloody violence yet to be healed, people want to share sympathetic and light moments, greetings, bleesings and hugs with their relatives. They wntto simmer with merriment and cherish the occasional happenstance. Walking through green, fresh land-scapes, finding peace and serenity, meeting friends and relatives, sensing native surroundings rejuvenates them in the distant topograpies.

Actually, Dashain is the festival of coalescence and togertherness, bounding and conjuring happiness, new clothes and delicious cuisines, rest and recreation. Tika, Jamara and blessing. Celebrating the fiesta on commemortion of the victory of Durga Bhawani, deity of divine power, over ruthless demons is religious antiquity: it has, therefore, a great cultural significance predominantly.

We are heading towards in pursuit of sustainable progress and prosperty yet miles away. The situation is still painful and unstable. At this juncture, we all have to double the feeling of mutual understandings and reciprocity commonality and fraternityso that everyone cannot only celebrate the festival to the fullest but also preserve decency and civility in the society and vitalize the festive niche. We need communal harmony andco-operation, tolerance and enocouragement. All we need is the end of jealoursy and enmity, animosity and atrocity, show-off and hypocrisy, bloodshed and cruelty. On the top, the way we celebrate the festival should conserve the cultural values.

May the festival bring all Nepalese ever-lasting peace prosperty and the moments of sheer elatioin.

Get the blues, or the woes? It's Dashain times for sure.This is one of the great times when all tears are bound to drench the earth. The ways of the divinity is quite puzzling. Those on whom we repose our faith, seem to offer the occasion as a test of devotion. It goes like the old stories where the greater the faithful you are the more sufferings you have to go thourgh. May be the after-life stuff gets us moving in the world.

Don't believe in the next world, then you could go around doing the dirtiest jobs around without any regret. But, the consciene part will always be there to give a hell of a trouble particularly at bed time. Well, tossing around in bed is never meant to be a healthy way of living.

From real-life stories that filter out at times from the well-fortified domains of the rich and the powerful, sleep does not come esily all because of the wordly sins stht some how or the other take their origin from the pleasures.

So, a few more dollar more gets the mind thinking maliciously. If that had not been the case marry bridges in the Kathmndu valley wouldn't have caved in, courtesy the greed for lucre to be got though sand excavation at the base. But, that's howit goes, and there's no stopping the rush for the sound of the crisp currency notes to fill the coffeers.

Dashain certainly comes in as a breaker forsome to reflect on what has been bestowed on us. The cringing ones will always think of the ominous nature of everything, but those with the ill-gotton wealth would certainly thank the gods and goddesses for bein so generous, at lest for the past year or so. When the sun shines and you can get your treasure of the hay, that must be reason enough for the divine blessings.

Howerver, the festival time does offer an evaluation of how you have fared in the "eyes" of god. If it's bad, a little more of prayers may be opted for. If all's fine then the usual crooked ways can continue for-some.

It's not how many goats you hae to offer o a god or goddess or the stakes tht you put as a gambler that counts in the sancity of the occasion, it is how you go about enhancing the degree of camarderie and the mortal life that we all are vested with. Anyway, it's there cheers for Vijaya Dashami!

Once again, I use the same old cliche from a famous peom: "Two roads diverage ina yellow wood, and I chose the one less travelled by." Those who have road tht peom know exactly what I am to say next.

All of us know how important it is to "win" in thse times when competition is manadatory in everything we do. Whether it's about getting into better schools or being selected in a basketball team or gtetting an appointment, in all thins we do, we need to compete.

But have we taken a moment to figure out how to win the game? Why is that you are not the one going to Havard of MIT but your friend is? Alterntively, why is it that your friend plays for the national team and you do not?

"He's got talents and he got lucky, "is a lame excuse. But what do you do to step up the gear and take it to the next level. first thing you need to realiseis that you need to start early. As they say, "Early bird catches the worm."

If you read the news or wtch television, you might have noticed three-year-old boys and girls playing guitar solo in a concert. There is no room for delay in this generation. You get left behind the moment you take a break. So, you need to start out erly as you can.

The second most important thinks is to plan. "Look before you leap." When you plan thins, you know when they go wrong. It is important to know where you stand and where your plan leads you.It is much easier to perform any task when you know the consequences of your action well before you execute it.

Social networking websites like Facebook. Hi5, My space and linked in help you connect with people from all over the world. But have you used it to your advantage? These websites provideyou the opportunity to build networks, not just among friends, but with people that are the centre of influence.

Recently, some-body from India claimed on Facebook that Buddha is from Inida. A smart Nepali fellow was quick to react and created a group "If Buddha is from India then Taj Mahal is in Nepal." Thousands of people joined his group and with tht he managed to inform thousands more that Buddha was born in Nepal. With a simple click, he influenced thousands others to join his group and support his idea.

You needto be smart enough to use effective means for communications. Look for ways that cost you less time and are effecive. People are getting smarter by generation. That makes competition even more intense. Look to complete tasks right away than waitinng for the deadline. Life is a marathon and there is no time fora break.

Women's labour migration to foreign countries is not a recent phenomenon in Nepal. Nepali women have been leaving their homes to see employment abroad for the past 230 years. Today, Nepal earns a significant part of its national income from remittnce and studies reveal that remittances from female migrants constitutes about 10-15 percent of the total remittances entering Nepal.

Because of the primordial nature of our society, women inNepal have been facing vrious obstacles in their efforts to go abroad for work though Nepal has signed the United Nations convention on the Elimination of All Forms of DiscriminationAgainst Women (CEDAW) in 1991, committing itself to removeall discrimination against women and safeguarding women's rights, including the rigths to work. But women inNepal are still not free go go and work abroad due to various governmental, family andsocial prohibitions said to be implemented in women's interest to protect them from health haxzards sexual and other forms of abuse.

There are large numbers of Nepali womenworking abroadexpecially in the Middle East and in the neighbouring Asian countries but it is hard to determine the exact number as various reports suggests that many women migrate through informal channels. It seems that the flow of women migrants cannot be curbed at the moment considering the ever shrinking economic opportunities in Nepal.

Thus, we are compelled to admit that with proper politics andaction, Nepal could benefit from women's migration as remittance plays a key role inreducing poverty. Because of the increasing economic integration of the world brought about by globalisation, it is now very important that Nepal develops competitive advantages in labour export. As Nepalis are hardworking and sincere people, there are enough economic opportunities for them abroad.

Yet, it is imporatant to realise that women face greater risks when they embark on foreign employment. Separate from home and roots, lacking rights and often with relatively little education, these women workers are vulnerble to bad treatment and to the risk of contrcting various diseases. The risks women face need to be analysed and policies and strategies formulated in order to diminish and cope with these risks. Programmers to reduce risks involved in oreign labour migration should be launced for women by the concerned authorities.

Institutional frame works that see women as weak brings have impeded their empowerment. Women's rights to mobility and choice of occupation should be ensured and protected as countries that donot deep peace with change canbe hurt by thei competitors' efficiency. The countries that have gained the most from labour export over long periods are those that have responded flexibly to changing circumstances. Let Nepal reap the benefits of women migration too.

"Hello, Babu, do you teach computer at your institute?" Bisworaj Pokharel from Kirtipur Municipality-13 was asking a computer institute owner in Kirrtitpur. The owner nodded indicating tht they offered basic computer courses. Bisworaj inquired about the time and fee with the owner and expressed his desire to join. Most of the staff at the institute brust into laugher. The owner inquired if the old man was mistaken. Hadn't he instead been tryingtoadmit his son or grandchildren? Bisworaj said, "I want to learn computer myself." But still, no one in the institurebelieved a 65-year-old man could learn anything, let alone computer. The owner said, "No, no, I don't believe you! You are here to admit your son, are't you?"

Bisworaj was completely baffled. However, in the end, he some how managed to get himself admitted for a computer course. The callous remarks of the institute owner had pained him no end. He had felt humiliated. He latter said, "I thought about my humilation seriously. What a sorrow! A so-called civilised place like Kathmandu laughs at old people who want to do something. If you hve courage and determination, age really does not matter." A few days later Bisworaj changed his mind and decided he would not, after all, go to the institute. He had already paid half the course fee. "Where people laugh at my enthusiasm to learn and have no respect for me, why should I go there? I would forgo computer literacy rther than compromise my honour."

I later learned that he wanted to learn computer because his sons and daughters were abroad. He has computer at home. But it remains dysfuntional. He wanted to learn computer "so that I could email my children. I have internet service at my home. "

We make much noise about equality and freedom in modern Nepal. But a society which cannot honour its elderly, some-one rightly said, cannot boast of any achievement. Like the old man in this story, many people his age are discouraged and humiliated when they try to lern something new. Other old folks are looked down upon as feeble and good for nothing fellows.

What more do the elderly have save a little self-respect ? Is it too much to ask for the elderly that the young genertion recognise their contribution and offer them due recognition? After toiling all their lives for their family and society, it hurts when at the fag end their contributions are forgotten and they are looked upon as burdens. Everyone has to get old one day. This is no rocket science! The way we treat our elders today, so will our children treat us when we get old.

Cigarette smoking is one of the most impertive risk factors contributing to the high prevalence of lethal diseases all over the world. More than 5.4 million people die in the world every year from tobacco-related illnesses, acording to the UN. Unfortunately, smoking rate of both genders in Nepal is very high and so is its fatality rate. As many as 15,000 people are estimated to die due to tobacco consumption in Nepal every year, according to Nepal Cancer Relief Society(NCR).

Children are at high risk of getting affected by the second hand smoke in underdeveloped oped countries such as Nepal, where adults often take the children for granted. Knowing and unknowingly the adults are damaging the children's health by smokingin their surroundings.The health of the child is at stake in a nation whose infnt mortally rate is way above the average. What a shame!

Deepak Shrestha, a class one student almost died from asthama. He had been rushed to the Bir Hospital and the doctors were able to normalise his condition. When the doctors scruatinised Deepak's medical history, they revealed an alarming fact: the child would again be at risk the moment he left the hospital . Why? Both his parents were heavy smokers.

Doctors had warned Deepak's parents that second-hand smoke was triggering his asthama attacks. They would agdree to stop smoking in the house but as soon as Deepak's symptoms improved, they'd start lighting up around him again. After a couple of months, Deepak was again admitted to the Bir Hospital and this time the doctors tried to explain to them that young children are more vulnerable to the effecsts of second-hand smoke than adults.

Addicted to nicotine, Deepak's parents seemed unwilling to accept the correlation between their habit and their son's astham. What the parentsdidn't ralise was that the smoke curling from their cigarettes didn't just disapper. It left behind lethal chemicalsknown tocause cancer. It left behind lethal chemicals known to cause cancer. If the doctors had not stepped in when they did, Deepak would have died.

In papers published in Paediatrics and Journal of Family Practice, renowned Dr DilFranaza reported on the known risks to children from second-hand smoke. He stated that children exposed to tobacco smoke face the following health risks: Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, ear infections, respirtory infecstions and asthama. Furthermore, it has been second-hand smoke causes lung cancer.

Quit smoking, but if you can't there is still a great deal you can do to protect those around you. Never smoke in front of a non-smoker or allow anyone to smoke where infants and children are prescent. Considering numerous health benefits and our poverty alleviation objectives, high taxation on all types of tubacco producst would be an enviabe public policy.

Have you ever tried catching a butterfly? Have you ever tried catching a butterfly? It perches nimbly on a flower, gently folding and unfolding its wings while you approach it noiselessly from behind and, just whenyou think you have caught it, it flies away-a trnsient flash for colourful wings, enticing yet mostly unreachable. Well, that's what happiness is like. The more you chase it, the more elusive it gets. At the risk of mouthing an oft-repeated (but little heeded!) cliche, I will say that happiness comes from within. In fact, sought outside one's being, it is akin to mirage-you just can't attainit! You, and yu alone, have the power to make yourself happy.

So how can you be happy. But not trying too hard, for starters, By lightening up a little and overlooking minor setbacks instead of treating them as disasters. The wrold gives a hoot whether you smile or frown. So why not increase your face value by smiling? If you can only learn to laugh at some things, your plight would not seem so grim . I was't sure I could do it but my husband made itsound quite easy. So I decided to give it atry. You could too, you know.

Once I resolved to find happiness in day-day-day activities, I realised that there are indeedmany ways to make oneself happy. Laughing for instance, is a great mood elevator: reading a comic or watching cartoons (the antics of Tom and Jerry can never fail) , having a belly-laugh over a joke or even watching a commedy film can boost both your mnood and your health several notches higher on the feel good scale.

If you can train yourself - via mediation, positive thinking, or any other method- to find inner peace, you can be happy. It involves making peace with yourself, accepting who you are and not worrrying about or fighting unknown or unseen demons. No doubt, it is a tough call but I believe it is worth trying.

And, above all, count your blessings-it will immediately put your heart in the right place and fill your soul with humility and gratitude for all the things you have, things which you need to be thankful for but have taken for granted so far.

And, even if things are not as hunky-dory as you'd like them to be, be granteful for the fact that you are at least live to know that they are not. Would you rather be dead? Think about it. All these are but small ways of achieving happiness but they can boost yourself-worth which, in turn, can motivte you to be your best self in your liffe and in your relationship. Certainly is a reward worth vying for.

It is now fairly well-established that parents' disproportionate expectationsharm children's selfe-steem. Often, the grown ups and children hold different perceptions o fwhat the parents' expectations are. Anxiety months among kids when they exaggerate perceptions of what their par ents except of them academically. On the other hand, some children try to surpass the goals their parents set for them. Tellingly, parenting styles strongly influence how students adjust in schools.

A new study at the University of Florida has found that students make smoother transition to college if they have at least one parent whose style combines warmth, demanding nature nd democracy - the combination best for growing children.

It is also becoming clearer that a person's future-as a human being and as a professional- is primarily moulded in schools. But somthing uncanny is happening in the eductional scene in Nepal. Apart from zero-tolerance policy of most Nepal school towrds students' mistakes, what frustrates me is the lack of interest and understanding of childhood even among school administrators and teachers.

Both paarents and teachers need to understand that chidhood covers a relatively short periodof our lives; nonetheless, it can leave a deep imprint on our psyche that remains for our lifetime. It is for this reson that some people stay children all their lives, the inner prankster and naivety alive well into their adulthood. I , forone, hope to carry my inne-child up untilmy last breath. I hopemy little cousin son does too.

One day, he asked me: "who is more powerful, Lord Shivaor Hul ? And where do Power Rangers like? My answers were : Neither Shiva nor Hulk is as strong as Superman; Power Rangers live in America. "He believed me and went away satisfied. I laughed at myself. I had once been his age. It didn't matter that I lied so long as I engaged his mind and made him comfortable enough to ask me even more question, some of which, hopefully, I'll be able to answer.

I get angry when grown ups ask children to shut up. After all, the little brats are"still children and not supposed to know everything." But the very next moment, they ask children to behave responsible as they are "no more children. "A better way to handle children, I believe, is to think of them as "young adults. " Even if parents have to scold, they should explain the reason behind their wrath, like they would to a group up.

I accept that grown ups do not understnd children, and vice versa, given their different priorities and ways of thinking. But that surely doesn't excuse the all-knowledgeable adults for not trying. The smll once are, well, just kids!

Domestic Violence occurs when a family memebr attempts to dominate another!

Domestic violence against women is now clearly recognized as a priority for interntional attention. In 1993, the United Nations General Assembly adopted the Declartion on the Elimination of Violence Against Women. This declartion is the internaitonal legal instrument that protects a woman's right to b free from violence. The parliament of Nepal had passed the Domestic Violence and Purnishment Act 1065. The defination of domestic violence is wide enough to encompass every possibility to cover all forms of physical, sexual, verbal, emotionalandeconomic abuse that can harm, cause injury to or endangerthe health, safety, life, limbor wellbeing, either mental or physical, of the aggrieved person.

Domestic violence, also knownas domesticabuse, spousalabuse, or intimate partner violence occurs when a family member, partner orex-partner attempts to physically or pychologically dominate another. The U.S Office of Violence Against Women defines domestic violence as a"pattern of abusive behavior inany relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner". The defination adds that domestic violence " "can happen to anyone regardless of race, age, sexual orientation, relifion or gender", and that it can take many forms, including physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional, economic and psychological abuse.

The Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service in the United Kingdom in its Domestic Violence Policy uses domestic violence to reger torange of violent and abusive behaviors, defining it as patterns of behaviour characterised by the misuse of power and control by one person over another who are or have been in an intimate relationship. It can occur in mixed gender relationships and same gendr relatioships, and has profound consequences for the lives of children,, individuals, families and communities. It may be physical, sexual, emotionl and/or psychological. The latter may in clude intimidtion, harassment and damage to property, threats and financial abuse.

Domestic violence occurs across the world, in various clultures , and affects people across society, irrespective of economic status. Research shows that 30 percent of the women in Barbados, 29 perent in Canada, 33 percent in Egypt, 35 percent in New Zealand , 21 percent in Switzerland and 22 percent in the United States are victimized by domestic violence each year. Some surveys in specific places report figures as high as 50-70 percentof the women surveyed who were ever physically assaulted by an intiate partner. In India, more than 55 percentof the women suffer from domestic violence, especially in the states of Bihar, U.P.M.P. and nothern states. Incidences of domestic violene in Nepal are presumed to be on the same scale as in India. The Philippines and Paraguay report figues as low as 10 percent.

Domestic violence has many forms. Direct physical violence ranging from unwanted physical contact to rape and murder. Indirect physical violence may include destruction of objects and striking or throwing objecsts near the victim. Verbal violence includes threats, may include gestures, facial expressions and body postures. Phychological abuse may also involve economic an/or social control, such as controlling the victim's money and other economic resources, preventing the victim's social relationships, and isolating the victim from social contacts.

the law in Nepal prescribes punishment of up to four months' imprisonment anda fine ofRs. 6,000 for perpetrators of domestic vioence. The punishment ishalved for accomplices. They have to pay for the treatment too.

Generally, we say that domestic violence is a crime. In India, cruelty against wives and brides, dowry deaths and provocation to suicide have been recognized as a crime and is penalized. In Nepal, there is no such law. At thesame time, vicitms of domestic violence have a right to sue for civil remedies. Domestic violenceis a family tort. Common law intentioal torts include domesticviolene andrape. Harm from domestic violence between a married couple only recently became a actionbale as tortious since such suits used to be barred by interposal tort immunity. The law is telling various inconsisstent stories about domestic violence. Domestic violenceis no loger invisible to the law in the way tht itonce was. In every state, victims can obtain civil protction orders that are enforeceable by cirminal penalities. If a woman has been suffering at home, the court may impose monetary relief on the offender in favour of the victim. Real security for the victim is economic security.

In the broad context of protection of women from domestic violence, the respondent can also be made to meet the expenses incurred and losses suffered by the aggrieved person and can also cover lossof earning, medical expenses, loss of damageto property and maintenance of the victim and her children. The main policy of protection of women from domestic violence is to provide monetary relief to women in the shape of damages, compensation, maintenance, exemplary costs or penalities for offending her, and making it an obiligation on the part of the offending respondent such as the husband or other male or female memebr sof the family for perpetrting domestic violence.

Giving suggestions is one of the easiest things to do. It's a service we often receive and may also be providing to others, free of cost. There are absolutely no prerequistes to suggest anything about any topic under the sun to any one anywhere.

One of my sisters is having problems withacne for some time. she has been one of the greatest recipients of suggestions. Every time she meets someone she knows, she gets a suggestion about her acne. Whenever she goes back home and there are family gatherings, every one comes up with a great suggestion regarding her acne. It varies from souaps and face washes to all sorts to strict dieting. She tried to implement all the suggestions, one aferanother. She tried everything concoctions medicated, ayurvedic and Chinese and what not. But things went from bad to worse. She now has had enough an she is sticking to a simple soap and strngely thingsare improving.

Another issue which has a great scope for suggestions is diseases and their cures. Every time one falls ill,one gets a great package of suggestions. If you listen to them all, the only thing edibleyou end up with is Jaulo, a dish prepared of rice and pulses, a household name in most of our families as a good food for sick people. Jaulo, in my opinion, if taken for more than two consecutive meals, can get anyonesick. so when someone with a illness is forced to take that for day, we can only imagine what one goes through. On top of that they complain that the person has lost his appetite. Much of that may be due to the illness but Jaulo, surely, has a big contribution.

There are always a few 'experts' in every neibhour-hood. Although they don't have a sound knowledge about what they are talking about, they can talk endless on those topics. Many a times they endup doing more harm rather than good. One incident I remember is of a middle aged lady who ended up in the emergency room, unconscious. She had started taking an antihy pertensive medication recently after consulting a doctor. But some experts in her loclity bombarded her with suggetions about the drug's harmful effects and the necessity to take medicine all life long. That was enough for her to stop her medication and in a week's time she was in the hospitl bed. It was hergood fortune that she didn't suffer the dreaded complictions of parlysis and even death due to high blood pressure.

So the next time we suggest someone, let's be a bit more careful of the implications and while receiving one, just filter the talk, I guess.

One day, in the course of my daily commute in a microbus, the puny conductor (khalashi) caught my eye. No more than 13, he was dresed in ragged jeans and shirt. The zip of his pants was undone. His grizzled hair changed its shape whenever he scrtched his head. The nerves in his neck swelled whenever he shouted to beacon prospective passengers. Innocences hown in his sunken eyes.

The life of that kid is only the tip of an iceberg. There are many othr children who lead more miserable life than him. Even though ther ae laws to protect the rights of Nepali childdren, child labour is still a major problem. This isdue to the lack of implementation of the already lax laws, unlike some othter contries which rigorously monitor children's jobs, working hours, wages etc, - if they are allowed to work at all.

The majority of child labourers are found in third-wrold countries, where the children are forced to work when their parents are either unable to earn enough, or for the same reason, abandon their children altogether. Most of these children are treated littlebetter than slaves by their employers. They have to put up with abuse, starvation, and sometimes no return for their hard work. Children getting beaten by grown ups is a common sight in Nepal.

There have controversial debates over wether child labourshould be completely abolshed. Some argue that child labouris morally wrong andthere canbe no justification for making them work. Others argue that there is noting wrong in engaging children in simple work to support their poor families, or, in some cases, just themselves.

Various social organisations have been working to improve the life of neglected and working children. But individual efforts are not enough. The government should pass strict laws to better the condition of child labours and implement the existing ones rigorously. Even if children need to work, their working hours and pay need to be improved. But more importantly, the governement should see to it that no child is deprived of the light of education. After all, only good education will allow today's children to work more productively in the future and contribute to our national development. This is among the most important issues before the present government.

Women must break the traditions which bind them to being achild bering machine

Sina is my colleague; an independent, intelligent, good-lookingand successful lady inher erly 30s.

She says she is happy because soceity defines her achievements (an earning husband, two healthy children and a nice house in the heart of Kathmandu) as the necessary components for a happily married woman. What more could a woman need? Yet, Sina cries every night into her pillow and stuffs the corner of her blanket into her mouth as she suffers intolerable and indefinable pain.

Obviously, happiness lies in satisfaction. But Sina is unhappy, even though she is satisfied. She draws a handsome salary. Her husband has a good earning too, and time and again he says that he loves her too much. Her children go to the best school in the valley. Everyday, she goes out, works very hard and competes with her male counterparts, picks up her children on the way home, and then disappers into her blue and while kitchen. She cooks, feeds, cleans, does at the much expected assignments and waits. She waits till her eyes get tired of looking at the watch, her trembling hands get exhausted dialling the phone and her mouth gets parched with some kind of lacking and terror. It's already 10 p.m., and her husband is not back-- his cell phone is out of contct.

Sina's condition not only gives us a glimpse into the world of male domination, it even shows the helplessness and agony of a working woman in our society. Women talka lot: language and religion are responsible for creating the mindset of male chauvinists, so and so..The next moment their talk falls a apart and they return to the traditional roles.Can ayone hear the writing voice dof a woman, crushed between cradle and career ?

"Had I Aladdin's magic lamp, I would have gone to Switzerland to have a wonderful skiing holiday, " one of my adventure loving students said. I would like to ironically admit that had I had one, I would have made a free world for women where they would face no discrimination and division. It's easy to say that men are form Mars and women are from Venus, but practically we are bound to live as earthly creatures. This fact can never be ignored. Men in the late evening have the whiskey talks (tea talk has become a far cry) at the pub. They drink, laugh and boast that they belive in gender equity and that their wives are independent working ladies. At the sametime, if they are called by their independent halves to say that they are too tired to stay awake to open the door,men get irritated and complain that marriage has destroyed their freedom and happiness.

Women are the ones who make the world spin, but they ae the ones who always have to ber the brunt. The other day, I went to visit my friend, a wroking lady. She is intelligent, ard hard working and has a nice erning too. It was the weekend, so she was quite busy cleaning, washing, dusting, sweeping, mending and taking care of her children. She told me her helper was sick and that she was busy working all day. When asked where her husband was, she waved her hand and said that she was glad he was not outside playing cards and gossiping with his friends but was a home watching cricket. I can never understand: if a couple works equally outside, have to hold a ladle and he the TV remote control after they return from work ?

This is only the tip of the iceberg. There is more to say about the heart-rending storiesof modern women becaus etheir ordeal has not finished but been further compounded with modernism and advancement. D.H. Lawerence said that modern women in general were unhappy because they want to be cocksure, which is unnatural for them. But I think they are unhappy because they don't want to quite the "hensure" roles despite their achievements. But men don't have to take it othterwise and think that women are silent because they are weak, dependent and inferior. They are dumb because they don't want to break their marriages for the sake of their children and conserving tradition.

There was a different levelof gender discrimination prevailing in the past. Women were treated as animals, they were only subjecst to men. Today, women are educated, strong and they are out-man-ning the men. But still they ae hanuted with those outdated values. Women ae trying to save their marriage because they want to save the wrold by making their children the buiulding pillars of the nation. Otherwise, there will be family breakdown, chaos and ultimately soceity will trun from bad to worse. So men have to get out of their taditionbal midset and accept the changing more sas part of life.

Some days I feel as though we're needlessly repeating ourselves and every activity,superstitioin and musty value instead of moving forward. Many things we keep repeating inthe name of culture and tradition, just like tying cats to a pillar because we've seen our forefathers do it. Many things in our lifestyle, education and activities need just a second thought. We need change for better or for worse; old beliefs and systems have to end so that new paradigms and ideas can take their place. It is very embarrassing to hear such stories of career-conscious women being abused t the hands of male chauvinists. It is high time for us to act to mitigate our domestic problems.

Women folk need to look a bit inwards andthink whta world without them would be like.Thye must realize that a man brages of his bravery but falls is every oher ditch seeking love and satisfaction for himself. Is he really brave or are we meek and submissive for no good reasons? The time has come for women-folk to stand up and assert that they too have potential to live life the way they want to without surrendreing their identity as weaker halves. On their part, they must break all such traditions which bind them to being a child bearing and rearing machine only.If new traditions are to be made there womenfolk can live happily with pride and dignity, the old ones must be broken and destroyed.

Before marriege hardly any grls likes to cook unless, of course, she is fond of eating. At that age, friends are more important than standing before a hot stove, panderring to the tastes of different members of the family.

Many woemen learn to cook after marriage. And so did I. I took the help of mymother-in-law, friends, neighbours and colleagues. Grdually, I too learnt the diffferent techniques of cooking like frying, sauteing, stirfrying and baking. Cookingis not just about preparing a meal for the family. The kitchen, its decor, crockery, cultery, cleanliness and hygiene are also an imporant part of the cooking process.

Over the years, I have learnt that the msot important ingredient for cooking any dish is "passion"- you must prepare a meal with love and interest. Unless you cook with passion, even an exoticdish iwll turn out ordinary. But with passion, people will askyou for recipes. But I still consider myself a novice. It is an on-going process.

Do you remember your childhood days? How your mother went about cooking? There were no fancy gadgest to help. The silauto toook care of all the grinding. Today the most expensive andlatest food processors cannot give you the taste of the chutney your mother prepared onthe silauto. This humble tool is fast disappearing from the Nepali kitchens andso is the khal used earlier for powdering spices.

Those were the days when life moved at a leisurely pace. Women spent hours soaking, grinding, drying papads, mango, dals and vegetables. They had a look of satisfaction on their faces andenjoyed the process. Their faces glowed when the family sat downat n ight for dinner, relishing the home-made papads and achaars. Who will do this now? Those days are gone forever.

Today, the media plays a crucial role in influencing the cooking scene. People are curious and they try out new cuisiines recommended by food columnists and chefs. Techonology has also made cooking easier. Cooking ranges food processors, ovens electric chimneys and modular kitchens hae made life easier. Easy availabiity of food items is also a blessing. Today, cooking is not just bout dal-bhat and roti-tarkari. It is a big industry.

Companies spend millions to bring out new products and conducts research to tap specific markets. Even rural areas are using packaged products. Innovate packaging has changed the face of the food industry. Whole meals can be bought off the shelf. The packets just need to be opened and heted in hot plates or oven and eaten.

Today, technology may hae made cookng easier but it cannot bring back the smells and a flavour from the times when cooking was a pleasure, not a chore to be wished away.

"What is marriage? my little cousin asked. I didn't know what to say. Even as I was crafting an answer inmy mind, he fired another question: "Why should one get married? " Now, I was starting to question  myself: what exactly is marriage? Is marriage timeless, universal and natural? Can it have a sweeping definition?

I flipped through many books on anthropology before I came upon one definition:  "a universal institution that involves a man and a woman living together, engaging in sexual activity, and cooperating economically."  This definition, however, didn't take into account real practices in  many parts of the world.  For example, in many tribes in Ghana and Indonesia it is common for spouses to live separately. Moreover, I recently read in a newspaper that in parts of Zambia, those married couples who live together often do not eat together but instead have their meals among those of the sme gender or age group. In addition, among the Yoruba and oher Afrian tribes, economic coopertion is ot practiced between married partners; each person takes care of his or her own needs and the couple rely on their parents to support their off-spring.

Marriage is also commonly taken as a union between a man and a woman, supposedly with the aim of begetting children. But many societies have already recognised marriage between partners of the same sex. In addition, Chinese and Sudanese marry live people off to ghosts or spirits- thuse putting an end to the possibility of producting children. In some cultures like Navajo of North America, legitimacy is not tied to marriage; rather they consider the concept of legitimacy strange and unnecessary. At the same time, gay and lesbian marriages across the world are challenging the mainstream definition of marriage and moherhood.

Turn the pages of history books and you sees dramatic changes in the  meaning of "marriage", which has, of late, come to focuson individual happiness and individual choice- and developed as a public affair as opposed  to a private one. Child-bearing, property ownership, and family have all decreased in importance as the concept of marriage has evolved over hundreds of thousands of years.

Thus, no one definition applies to all cultures at all times. So, at a given time, marriage will mean diffferent things to different people. "Marriage" is not finite, definable, timeless arrangement, but rather something which is determined by the time  period and place we live in. Whereas marriage between a man and a man or between a woman and  a woman was simply unimaginable  in the past, such a union has been recognised in many modern societies. The one-definition-fits-all approach is even more problematic in an ethnically diverse country like Nepal.

Freak weather shows tht something wrong is occurring on this planet due to our greed

Climate changeis perhaps the most popular subjecst is global debates today. It is the talk of the town in every nook and corner besides world politics. One can find a plethora of articles, columnsand writings in different newspapers, journalsand magazines about climate change. this is also one of them, but it looks at things from a layman's perspective.

As usual with so many issues that are surfacing in the world, this topic has also drawn the attention of the world community. Already, there are many comments for and against it. There are people who believe that the climate is changing fast on this planet, and there are many who think tht this is simply a hoax or just a storm in a tea cup. It is really perceive what reality is. There 0are, however, certain events that are occuring globally which indicates that something is going on regarding the issue of climate change.

Recently, scientists have indicated that certain aquatic plants have changed their genetic constituents due to the wrmers sea water. Almost all mountain climbers havec claimed that they have witnessed the snow melting at a faster rate. Here in our country, too, we have witnessed many unfamiliar things like a prolonged dry season, an increase in annual temperture and untimely floods andstorms. Recently, people in Dadeldhura reported tht Myrica esculenta (kafal) berries were maturing three tofour months too early. Rhododendrons too were blooming much earlier than the normal season in many parts of the country.

All over the world, weather, rainfall, snowfall and hailstorm patternshave become unpredicatable and untimely. Natual calamities have been occurring frequently irrespective the region, continent or place causing huge losses of life and property. These events are just the tip of the iceberg, and there are many more events that are gong on globally that indicate that something is happening which we should beaware of.

Already, severe consequences of these changing patterns of the weather have been experienced by humans globally. The impacts have been greater in the developing nations compared to the developed ones though everybody is feeling the heat. First and foremost, with the changing weather patterns, the food security of millions of poor people have been affected. Due to lack of adequte rainfall in many countries, especially in those practicing rain-fed agariculture, both production and productivity have declined sharply pusing huge sections of the population into poverty, malmutrition and disease.

Secondly, wth the rise in temperture, peennial water sources are gradually being depleted causing serious watershortge problems worldwide. That is why many scientists say that if there will be a war in the future, it will not be for any wealth or meterial po ssessions but for water. The ground water is diminishing fast due to lack of replenishment because of concrete and massive urbanization. The melting of snow is also a great threat to the countries in the Hindu Kush and Himalayan rgions since the source of water of almost all the countries of this regionis mountain snow.

Thridly, there is a danger of glacial lakes in the mountains brusting which can cause havoc and huge loss of life and property. Fourthly, low-lying island countries are also in equal danger. Rising sea levels have already brought lots of misery in the form of floods, hurricanes nd tsunamis. And with the changing pattern of the weather and temperture, the mater is becoming worse. Last but not least with the change in temerature globally, many diseases and pests which had been eradicated are now emergin in new forms and manifesttions. Agood example is the revival of malaria in the tropical countries of Asia and Africa which was thought to have been controlled earlier.Many diseases ae making a comeback with more complications. All this has forced countries to spend additional money on health cre and disease control.

These examples clearly show that something wrong is occurring on this planet because of our greed and negligence. Although there is lck of concrete evidene to reach such a conclusion, it is cleras crystal that we are moving in the direction of disaster. Unfortunately, many of us do not recognize sriously the threat that is already knockng on our door. Although it is too early to say that all these are happening due to global warming, scientists have given enough evidence to alarm us. It is really regrettable that the industrialized countrieswhoare most responsible for the emission of greenhouse gases (which is mostly responsible for global warming and ultimately climate change) are turning a deaf ear to this global problem.

A good example is America's refusal to sign the Kyoto Protocaol and similar behaviour of its allies. Being the greatest polluter of the world, America should have taken the pivotal role but it has been escaping the issue of climate change for a longtime. The two emerging superpowers, India and China, ae also not serious about this matter. Because of the apathy regarding the issue of climate change on thepart of the developed and developing nations, the problem has remained as it is. The impact, howerver,has been devasting to the poorer and vulnerable people irrespective of the country, and this neglect has cost the lives and properties of millions.

People ae gradually becoming aware of the fact and this might led to confronttion and hatred.This might breed more terrorism, suicide attacks and more bloodbaths since the existence of the larger sections ofall societies have been endangered because of the geed of a few. From the humanity point of view also, it is a heinous crime; and those responsible for it, whether governments, people or leaders, should be subject to international trial for crimes againt humanity. Today, with our own activities we are not destroying our own habitats. We are not only endangering our own existence but of all the plants, animals and living and non-living entities of the world that are a gift of God. Since we have not created them. So let us take a concrete step globally to combat this malady leaving our petty interests far behind.

There are people who never tire of reminding us that we are now in the 21st century, and that what was prohibited or prevented in the past are now part of life. Or so they say. There has been moral was prohibited or prevented in the past are now part of life. Or so they say. There has been moral policing in the past to prevent what they call commercial exploittion of women. Even now in the 21st century when we are so fiercely advocating human rights which means protection of the rights of the individual, the moral witch hunt has not stopped. And this is done not so much by traditionalists who want to uphold past values as by self-proclaimed revolutionaries. As longas it suits their purpose, we are asked to throw all kinds of past values to the winds for, after we are livin in the 21st century; and values and practices of ages ago have to be discarded and thrown to the winds. Well, that's a tall order for a country and people that stepped into the 20th century after living in Middle Age -like isolation only in the 1950s.

Beauty, they say, perhaps wrongly, lies inthe eyes of the beholder.John Keas wrote, "A thing of beauty is a joy forever. " These statements were written a long time ago without realising how much the world would have changed by the21st century. Such writings cannot, therefore, hold water in the 21st century. Not in any case in the eyes of this country's revolutionaries who have been compared, not wthout justification, in the past with China's cultural revolutionaries who indulged in rampant destruction of their cultural heritage, but were finally destroyed by their cultural heritage, but were finally destroyed by their own more "conservative" comrades. In the race to cleanse the nation of all so-called abnor-malities, Nepal's only national beauty contest has suffered. Many have missed the Miss Nepal contests, thanks to the over zealous enforcers of public morality. Some 20 finalists had already been selected for the 2008 Miss Nepal contest when a "revolutionary" organisation with even greater "revolutionary mentality" prevented the event from taking place.

Miss Nepal has been the most prestigious of all beauty pageants in Nepal. The startof this kind of contest in Nepal was rather belated with the first event taking place in the mid-1990s and Ruby Rana being crowned the first Miss Nepal in 1994. Ever since,the contest has been attracting more and more participants who undergo various prepartions before qualifying for the event. Beauty pageant winners stand out as role models, and they help the ordinary people to try to try to mould their life and behaviour aroundthem. They take the people forward and inculcate in them a sense of freedom that is necessary to break free of the schackles of bondage to old ideas. These events are forward moving, but not all think so. Everyone in society is free to have one's own opinion, but it becomes in tolerable when some ideas are sought to be enforeced on others who think differently. The fate of the Miss Nepal contest has been determined not by the ordinary people who, whatever be their own feelings, allow others to do as they think fit, but by some people who deem it their right to enforce their their opinions on others.

Such acts by the opponents of the Miss Nepal contest would have been understandable if they had attempted to stop all beauty pagens in the country. But that is not the case. Even as the Miss Nepal contest lies suspended, other beauty pageants aare held as if they do not merit the attention of the keepers of public morality. Lasty year, the international media said that the Miss Nepal contest had been blocked by the All Nepal Women's Organisation (Revolutionary). It quoted an official of the organisation as saying that the Maoists would not allow such "anti-women" events sponsored by capitalists and feudalists to take place. That's all fine. But what about other beauty contents held Nepal? Don't they come under the same category? Beauty contests were held last year to select Miss Pokhara 2008, Miss Teen Kathmandu and Miss Teen Nepal. Also held were a large number of ethnic-based beauty contests. The so-called revolutionaries see nothing a miss when beauty contests along ethnic linesare held, reflecting the parentparty's ill conceivd stra tegy of exploiting ethnic grumbilings and dissatisfaction to gain short-term gains in votes and popularity.

The revolutionaries need to think whether they are helping or harming the regressive cause by preventing women and girls to come out andshow heir talents. Girls andwomen should no longer be confined to their homes. While it may be true that beauty lies in the eye of beholder, in modern times there are certain yardsticksby which beauty is measured. These, apart from the intellectual gauge, are measurements such as height, waist and hip and weight. They ae some of the physical features that determine a man and a woman's physical attributes and go in making of the winner of a beauty contest. This is just as the human rights concept generally accepted by the international community may not be applicable to all countries with different levels of economic development and vastly different cultures and traditions. Yet the concept has to be accepted by all. So the physical and intellectual attributes of what is generally considered to be the main features of a stunning beauty may be different in different countries, but there are some featues that have to be accepted by all beauty pageant organisers. This is because contest winners are no onger confined to their own countries but go out and take part in international beauty contests. Let's notforget that a Nepali won the World Miss University title on South Korea in 2003.

Confining men and women to their homes on moral grounds may have been OK inthe Dark Ages, but not be in the 21st century. Surely the revolutionaries must realise that preventing the holding of the Miss Nepal contests is a step in the backward direction and cannot but help regressive forces, the very foreces they say they are out to defeat. Even as the revolutionaries prevented the Miss Nepal 2008 contest, there were Nepalese else-where inthe world holding their miniversions of Miss Nepal. To name two, there were Miss nepal Hong Kong and Miss Australia Nepal contests. Miss Nepal 2008 was blocked by far-left opposition, but will we continue to miss Miss Nepal again and again? This should be some food for thought for Maoist idleologues.

Shaping Young Minds

When I was young my father used to change the television channel if murder seems or violent scenes appeared on television screen. When I grew up, I came to understand that my dear father was guided by the principle that load things should not be shown to the children as they may catch bad habits themselves; their malleible minds can easily be infuenced to things good and bad!

It is for this reason that censorship is still appliedf in flims or video albums to remove any violent unseemly scense. The dialogue is pinged to prevent listeners from catching the taboo words. The inention behind this is tht dults can judge for themselves wht is wrong nd wht is right but for innocent children, it is difficult to make the subtle differentiation. We know that impressions during childhood strike deep and can stay with one as long as one lives. What we see, hear, experienece during childhood are reflected when we grow into mature adults. If the wrong types of activities are shown in television, they may instigte children to take the wrong path-- new, or sometime in the future.

But Nepali children need not look at television to get a whiff of bad air. Strike, bandas, riots, violence, kidnapping, murder are everyday affairs in Nepal. accidents, price hikes, tax increases unabailability of petrol, boss wrning his workers to be punctual or husbands beating their wives, ini each case the road is blocked, tires are burnt, vehicles ae vandalised and the traffic is disrupted. These are crimes and cannot be justified in a civiliesed society-- but try telling that to days's rebellious youth.

As mentioned above, films, videos, music videos and television programmes only fuel their juvenile imagination. Scenes of rapes, murder, use of vulgar words are a common fare in modern television programmes. Who thinks about the potential impact of those scenes on the young minds?

Either in reallife or in art, the children are foced to see which they should not be show. Where will such unwise activities lead us? It's about time we seriously thought out the kind of future citizenry we want to build. The point is: today's children are tomorrow's nation builders. What they re learning today, they will put to practice tomorrow.

We as a society need to be responsible to take care of the future generation just like our predecessors took care of us. Irresponsibility lies at the heart of most problems in today's Nepal. Unless all sections of the society work as one to ensure a better tomorrow for Nepal's youth, the country's future looks bleak.

Child Abuse : A Shocking Truth

Shyam's story is an often-respeated story. His uneducated alcoholic parents would repeatedly beat him, and he thought living on the streets was use him for their own sexual needs. At first, he became depressed, insecure and developed an inferiority complex. After a while, the abuse became habitual, and he began abusing others as well.

Paedophilia is considered more of a cirme by foreigners in Nepal. However, a recent study says onlyh 20 percent of the child-abusers are foreigners; the rest are Nepalis themselves.

Shockingly, the study by Voice of Children (VOC) and CPCS says nearly 40 per cent of child abusers are relatives of the child. Most paedophiles, accordinbg to Krishna Thapa, director of VOC, have the advantage of close proximity with the children either as babysiters or as relatives. And, as is the case in majority of the incidents, the children do not come forwards say anything. The worst part is that there isn't any strict law againt the sexual exploitation of a minor boy. "this has made Nepal a haven for paedophiles, " says Thapa. While abroad, countries have been trying to enact and strengthen their child abuse laws, "Nepal continues to ignore the issue. "

The most-affected groups are the children living onthe streets, where, thestudy says, up to 40 percent of children are physically and sexually abused. Child-rights activissts say commercial sexual exploittion of children has also become a critical issue in the country, quoting instances of child-pronography and prostitution by both Nepalese and foreigners.

Activists also say there are instances of child abuse in shelter homes run by Nepalis and foreigners. "But the conerned authorities have mute spectators to the problem." says an activist, who refused to be identified.

Over a dozen foreigners were arrested between 1996 and 2009, some of whom were accused of running unregistered childrens' homes as a front for sexual abuse. Unfortunately, only a few o f them were punished due to lack of adequate evidence, especially medical evidence. "It is difficult becaue paedophiles do not always commit rape but they abuse the child only after establishing good relations with him her, "says "Despite enough evidence, a lackof clear laws and coordination between various stake holders leads to their acquittal."

The latest arrest of Jean jacques Haye, 60, a French national onchrgs of paedophilia from Kathmandu is a testament to this fact. He was earlier arrested in 1999 but let off because of lack of medical evidence. After several child-rights organistions field a case in France against him, a red-corner notice was issued by Interpol, and he was finally arrested again.

But, as the study sdays, Haaye's foreign nationality forms the minority of abusers. Most cases of abuse by Nepalis, including family members, mhave mainly been under-reported due to the social stigma. "Cases of rape, especially of girls, are widely reported, but other forms of sexual abuse like verbal andharassment hardly come to the fore, " says Thapa. Similarly, another study by CWIN and Save the Children Norway found almost 20 per cent of the children in schools and living in at-risk conditions to have faced sexual abuse of one type or another. Also, an even more unreported abuse is that by women. "It's hard enough to admit abuse by men, but to admit abuse by a woman is even harder," says Thapa.

Sustainable development is the way to ensure tht development activities cause the least amount of harm to the environment

It has been just a little over a year since Nepal was declared a democratic republic andthe burden of responsibiities on policymakers weighs more now than ever before. During this time, the conversation amongst the framers of Nepal's new constitution has been predominantly, and rightfully, about delivering people's aspirtions: social justice and development. One is not possible with the other. Today, June 5, World Environment Day, serves as a fitting time for Nepal's policy makers to consider the implications of the relationship between those two topics ad the environment and sustainability. Not doing so would seriously undermine the current conversation and question the longevity of the policies we hope to draft into our new constitution.

Our natural environment, andthe changes it is experiencing, is the defining issue of this era. It is an issue that directly affects not just Nepal's poor and marginalised, but all Nepalis. What policies we set to safeguard our engvironment is the core of Nepal's ambition of delivering social justice a development. Yet the issue is hardly given the kind of attention that it requires by policymakers.

Every report related to environment in the last few years is realted to climate change. And, increasingly, reports related to food, health land use, and development too are all being directly linked to climate change. All of these reports have consistently declaredtht in the course of the next 20 -50 years, the poorest and developing nations will bethe hardest hit. And evenwithin poor conutrieslike Nepal, the poorest and most marginalised communities will be the most affected. This is a probem that we have inherited and will hand down to future generations, with interst added, if immediate actions are not take into address environment concerns.

Let us look at the topics that are on the top ofthe list for social justice; right togood, good health, land and a home. Untilthe 1970s, Nepal wa self-sufficient in its food production and supply. But today, for various reasons including population growth and mismanagement of rasources, food insecurity is a chronic problem in Nepal. Last year's food shortage andinflationled to protests, riots and strict food export policies in various countries aaround the world. Subsequent reports on food crisis have raised an alarming concern; unless we begin to pay attention to environment issues, climate change will cause havoc in our food supply.

Howerver, we cannot address our food issue withut considering our landuse policies. International Food Policy Research Institute (IFPRI) reported thtagriculture not only provides livelihood to more than half of the world's poorest people, but also constributes 14% of the world's green house gas (GHG) emissions; while land-use change sush as forest loss, contributes 19%. Of that, 50% of agricultural emmissions and 80% of land-use change and forestry emmissions comes from developing countries. At the same time, clearing of our forests for food growth and land distribution is not an option as forests are one of the most important elements in preserving the environment. In fact, Nepal needs to actively restore some of its lost forest vegetation.

Increasing scientific data are also begnning to directly relate climate change with health issues. A study by Global Hmanitarian Forum reported last month that climate change now kills 315,000 people a year- which could be over 5000,000 by year 2030 and seriously affect 325 million annually and over 600 million by year 2030. And countries like Nepal will experience its impacts the most.

Energy is key to development but burning fossil fuel and firewood have disastrous long-term effect on the environment and large hydro-projects have ecological implications. This is an intergenertional problem that requires consistent and cohesive intergenerational solutions. So how does Nepal move ahead? We could either take the trditional path that prioritieses development over other concerns such as the environment, the prevailing view in the political leadership. Or we could transition to sustinable development.

Sustainable development is a path that ensures all development activities cause the least amount of harm to our environment, including the responsibilities of mitigating, and adapting to, climate change. But this is a caue that Nepal cannot work towards on its own. It is one for which developing countries must help Nepal.

In the build up to the CopenhagenConference 15, to be held in December, the proposal submitted by Mexico haspicked up steam. Their argument for the establishment of a Green Fund, or the WorldClimate ChangeFun, is something that countries like Nepal would greatly benefit from. Such a fund is designed specifically to help countries like Nepal develop in asustainable way not just by providing money but also the much-needed technical expertise. With the aid of such programmes, this is an opportunityfor Nepal to set an example among developing countries by taking the alterntive in the offing. After all, the results of such an initiative have global repercussions.

One cannot stress enoughon the importance to making the environmental aspect a crucial part of current policy-making conversations. But simply adding a few environment policies is not enough. It must be thoroughly debated now so that the policymakers themselves know how important implementing them would be. With the constitution as the legal framework, Nepal must work towards sustainable socio-economic development agendas. Climate change is an intergeneaional problem and our constitution an intergenertional guideline. If we draft a constitution that fails to address the most pressing problems of the coming decades, we will all have failed in our task.Domestically, we require a renewed and urgent sense of understanding of the relationship between social justice, development and environmental sustainability. Multilaterally, we need an unfinching commitment from countries that have actually contributed the most to creating this problem to help us deal with it. While Nepal decides what will be included in its new constitution as the fundamental rithts andduties of its citizens, the international community must press Nepal to deliver on its goals in a sustainable manner and their funtamental duty to support Nepal to do exactly that .

Nepali women migrant workers are increasing in number, and so are their problems

The increasing number of women migrant workers shows that women are not fr behnd in cntributing to the national economy, though in most sectors their contribution is largely unaccounted. It is heartening to note that in recent years there has been a positive change in the perspective of looking towards these migrant workers. Until a few years back, women were not permitted to migrate as workers. But after the enactment of the Foreign Employment Act and Regulation 2064, wemen were officiallly permitted to migrate abroad as workers. However, especially in some Gulf countries, women migrant workers are still not allowed to work as housemaids due to various reasons, inter alia, sexual exploittionand debilitting working environment.

In a globalised and open economic scenario, restrictions on women's right to migrate abroad are definitely not a pragmatic solution. We have been striving hard for implementtion ofthe Mode4 agreement so as to ensure smooth movement of labour among counties. Moreover, there are abundant cases where restrictions have resulted in malpractices. Huan traffickingand smuggling have been on the rise even though we have stern rules and regulations to control them. Now the question is whethere prohibiting gender discrimination for migrant workers is sufficient to address the issues of women migrant workers (WMWs). As there are inborn differene between males and females, their requirements are likewise different. So the state needs to adopt specific measures to tackle them.

Certinly, there hae been some concrete meausres adopted in the existing Foreign Employment Act and Regulations to encourage women migrant workers. The prominent measures among them are provision of of women labour attaches in countries where there are more than a thousand women migrant workers , reimbursement of their orientation fee, insurance of up to Rs.500,000 and immediate relief assistnce of up to Rs. 100,000 as per the degree of their mutilation, free legal service to the victims, provision of education, healthand childcare centre facilities and safe houses for victims of foreign employment.

Public awaremess is the first and the most powerful measure to combat malpractices prevailing in this sector. With the overall literacy rate being just above 50 percent and women comprising a very little proportion of it, it really seems to be a Herculan task to educate these as piring migrant workers about the pros and cons of foreign employment. It is even more disgusting to note that exploitation of these women strt right from the beginning, at their village itself with the existence of so many layers of brokers. It has been observed that WMWs from otehr countries such as Sri Lanka and the Philippines are better equipped to t ckle hazardous situations than our Nepali WMWs. Hence, it is quite natural that they are the hardest hit by the perils of foreign employment.

Here the role of orientation programmes is also under scrutiny. Orientation programmes must be mandatory besides modifying their contents to suit the specific needs of specific countries. After all, what goodis is it for migrant workers heading for Israel to join an orienttion progrmme designed to cater to the needs Gulf countries? Moreover, preference should be given to instructors who have spent at least some time as migrant workers in the specific countries as it will be better to share real life experiences rather than depending heavilly on bookish knowledge.

Strong networking of information among major stakeholders such as embassies, ministeries, department and manpower companies is a must. It is disturbing to note that neither can we produce updated records of our migrant workers nor are we in a position to check the validity of demand papers. Web-based updated information netwworking is a must so as to reduce fraudulent activities in this sectior. Similarly, due to various reasons, such as lack of physical, financial and manpower resources, our embassies abroad are quite unable to address labour issues properly. During the rcent turbulence in Issreal, our Nepalese migrant workers hadto rely onthe mercy of other countries for their immdediate rescue . Frequent closures of the Israeli labour market for Nepali migrnt wsorkers, which is a lucrative destination for women, clearly sums up our efforst in this sector.

Effective coordination among stake-holders is yet another requirement for the welfare of migrant workers, especially WMWs. The establishement ofalabourdesk at TribhuvanInternational Airport is a good step in this regad. However, the labourofficials working there often complain about the uncooperativeattitude of other organs posted there. A labour desk is also required at the airport arrival lounge so as to have clear statistics on the number of returnees and their experiences.

In recent days, it has been observed that the tendency to send workers on an individual basis, where the concerned manpower companies have no responsibilities, is on the rise. In the fiscalyear 2064/65, altogether 12,836 workers migranted to different labour destination countries onan individual basis, whereas in the fidrst nine months of the current fiscal year, this number has already reached 34,000. It has far-reaching consequences as the number of women migrantworkers has also increased from 3,766 in the last fiscl year to 4,428 in the first nine months of the current fiscal year. These numbers do not include mgrant workers who have migrated though improper channels. Hence, concreteefforts should be taken to send workers, especially WMWs, through proper channels so as to address their probems in time.

Misuse of visit visas and use of Indian airports for unauthorised departure, especially by WMWs, must be stopped by adopting concdrete administrative, legasl and awareness generating measures. For this, all concerned stake-holders such as ministeries, departments, customs, immigration andembassies should work together. They cannot shirk their responsibilities and pass the buck to the Labour Ministry. Afetr all, it is the remittances flowing from these migrant workers which havekept our economyt afloat at times of crisis. Hence, a positive attitude along with the concrete steps will surely make WMWs an asset to the nation, otherwise they will bedestined to suffer forever.

"Jealousy is the result of ones lack of self confidence, self worth, and self acceptance. However, if you cant' accept yourself, then certainly nobody else will.

It is in human nature to feel a variety of emotions because it is, after all, these elements that constitute the brilliant cocktail called life. Even if one is missing, the taste wouldn't be up to the mark. Not to forget, the excess or insufficiency of any of these ingredients could ruin the melange altogether.

Let's imagine a situation. Suppose we are struggling through life in order to do well in our finance, career, studies or even the personal front. And just then, we come across this friend who is strolling through life as if s/he were in an amusement park, without care in the world. Of course, we wouldn't like to admit it under the sun but it mkes us feel a twinge of 'something' deep down. No matter how hard we try to be completely happy for our 'friend', it seems to be the toughest thing in the world to do at the momet. somewhere inside us is that nagging little voice that constantly reminds us of our own position which is in sad contrst to the firend's.

Moreover, if the person in question happens to fill those very shoes tht used to be our own at some point of time, the state worsens. The earlier whisper turns into a scream and before long, the fever of jealousy reaches at such a peak that the mere thought of that person becomes unbearable for us. We try to imagine a moe thorny life path for him/her and start wishng that if that weren't possible, at least, we could alsoget a shae of the blessings that Lady Luck had so kindly bestowed upon the friend. Well, this might not always be the case, but most of the times, it is.

"A competent and self confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity. Jealousy is an unhealthy sensation that kills the spirit of optimism, affability and modesty in a person. It sucks away at the victim's mental peace and secutiry, converting him/her intoa haughty, arrogant and insensitive nobody. A jealus person can never flourish and even if s/he is successful, it doesn't take long for the unfortunate downfall to occur.

It is true that a person should be reasonably ambitious becaue complete satisfaction with life brings it to a boring stndstill. But it ccertainly doesn't mean tht we start making a nuisance of ourselves just because somebody else is doing as good or even a better job thatn we are. Instead, we must develop within us what it takes to make it to the top by the fairest possible means so that when the day comes to an ed, we can stnd proudly as a victorious contender rather than a notorious, jealous pest!

Rajan Tamang of Kavrepalanchok distric is a student of Los Angeles City College. In February this year he was held at gunpoint on his way home to hi small apartment. Two assilants, one from the front and the other from behind, approched him. They used a gun and intimidation tactics to scare the 20 year old student into handing over his school bag and his wallet. Rajan had recently received a small amount of cash forlending a little help to a neighbor hood Bengali grocery shop andhad also just purchased some very expensive textbooks. The thieves insisted that he give them give them all of his belongings or face fatal consequences.

When they made off with his bag, Rajan beged to have he text-books returned to him, which had cost him a hefty $250 dollars, but his pleas were disregarded. The two men ran off, and against Rajan's better judgement, he proceeded to chase after the men. After he regained his senses, he located a phone to call the 911 number, which is used all across America to notify local police. The police arrived in about 10 minutes to tke his report, but neither assilants nor items were ever retrieved.

The route that he had unknowingly embarked upon to walk home form school is notorious for such assaults. It is a relatively dark street,which has two freeway overpasses that crate dark hideaways shady drug deals and gang related crimes. Rajan has since avoided the area, and now asks for an escort home when he is invited to help out at the Bengali shop.

A similar incident happened to a gaduate student who transferred to California State University Los Angeles last yer. Only, he did notfile a police report andthe placewhre he was robbed is a generally safe area. Like many international students from various countries here, he was afraid to file a police report because of his visa status. As his family could not support him through his MA, he had to find cahs work to support his studies. The assailant in this case also used to revolver to intimidate him into giving over cash from his employer's register, and has targeted the student more than once. The student has even commented that the thief greeted him once in a public as if they were good friends. He believes he is being targeted and exploited by this individual beause it is possible that this thug exploits the vulnerability of persons insuch circumstnces.

Just because the U.S has usually reliable protective government agencies and well-lighted streets does not mean that the United States is free from such crimes. On the contrary, the United States has many domestic problems which include drug culture, gang wars, trnsient criminals, and the sex trade. Students who come here should realise tht they ae coming to a foreign country, which required them to have some forthought about resources that will protect them from these dangers and exploitations, while they are trying to achieve their pursuits. America can be a wonderful experience if you adhere to some precautions that will make your transition, or journey, a safer one.

Alternative Reality

Women have always been puzzled by a man's constnt obsession for vrious things. For some, it's care: forohters, it's childish videogrfames and for yet others, it's television and mov ies. But few women have asked why boys are so determined to hang into their toys.

The answer is rather simple. Men require reality to be diluted from time to time. Reality is a scary place fro most men: we don't understandmuchof what's happening a even less insight. As such we need another reality, an alternative, a place where men can be better men. This need for an alternative reality has been evident since the days of te caveman. Those drawing on cave walls were surely exagerted to some extent to suite the ego of the big bad hunter. For example, a hunter may have killed a bunny and drwn a brontosaurus. In the same way, every guy wtches Bruce Wills kill 20 men in Die Hard and think, "Hey, I could do that!" Most men would have trouble loading a pistol but it's nice to have that assurance in your head.

Videogames provide an even more realistic environment for a man to get lost in. Imagine beinga CIA agent, a racing car dirve and James Bond, all onthe same day; it has ridiculous appeal to men, I assure you. It's a strangesort of thing but this allows men to be more pleased with their day-to day existence; it's the idea that, it I want to, I could do anything. The truth being that most men would rther sit in a lounge chair and take a nap at five o'clock in the evening.

Humans, especially men, desire wht it cannothave. With videogames and television, men get fulfillment, ans idea that their hopes and wishes are coming true, an idea tht the dreams aren't too far. As soon as man sees an action movie, he goes into his room, closes the door and aims a little finger gun at the mirror. It's just our way.

The world of imagination has gone to another level. Anything that can be imagined can be brought in front of one's eyes and this takes mento fantasy land where all seems real. When you achieve all that you desire with the power of a couple of simple gadgets, what else in the world do you need?

Battling with life

Is the problem always elsewhere and not within us?

Every morning on my way to office, I see an old woman standing beside a basketful of green saag calling out for customers. She is a lean, tiny old womanwith drk complexion and white hair. Her face is wrinkled and her cheeks suken. I always see her raising her hands and shouting at the top of her voice to drag people's attention towards her greens. Her energetic gestures and activities astonishme. It seems she has an inner strength which old age has not diminished. I have witnessed mny well-to-do people of her age wholly depending on others for every little task. But she is different. Even at this age, she starts her day carrying a heavy baket stuffed with greens. Many times she has asked me to buy her produce but unfortunately I did not need her service. Yet I can't help marvelling at her spirit. She could be an example for all those who waste their time gossiping, loafing around, getting depressed in the name of unemployment, whining about the unfavorable condition of the nation and involved in criminal activities for their livelihood.

They have much to learn from this tough, elderly woman.

I have seen many people wasting their precious life doing nothing. We are just happy to criticize the life doing nothing. We are just happy to criticize the politicians, government, the system nd the lack of opportunities in our country. But we never question ourselves: are we motivted enough, sincere enough to full utilize our potential? Like this old lady, why not try our best to utilize our capacity from our side. Even in the twilight yers of her life, she is working hard to make ends meet. She is earning her keep. She is not a burden fo xr her son, daughter and relatives. She is strong and independent. Seeing her makes me believe that if there is one thing that separtes human beings from animals, then it is the spirit to work to become self-reliant, to deveote yourself to the task at hand no matter how "big" or"small" the work may be.

This granny is liveing her life to the fullest, exercising all her human potential despite her social, economic and physicl hardships.

Now it is high time for us to reflect upon ourselves. Of course, for most of us life is a battle. Not all our desire will be fulfiled, not all our dreams will come true. But we must keep rowing along. We must do all we can from our side to attain our vision. That is what gives meaning to our life. Success, arrival and properity are nothing compared to the fulfillment we gain from being independent and hard working. So, let's strt looking into ourselves and examining our own strengths and weaknesses inssted of always blaming our praents, teachers, society, leaders and all other real and imagined obstcles in our way. Let's do our best to shape our own destiny, to battle with life, then perhaps like this busy woman, we won't have time to whine about "them".

Doubts and Answers

I once came across this quote that caught my eye; "There are two ways to slide easily through life, to believe everything or to doubt everything both ways save us from thinking".

We human beings, are considered to be the most superior beings on earth because of one exclusive attribute- the power to think and analyze. If we set off on an explortion, each of us will find a philosopher within ourselves. The world is vast ocean of knowledge. It is entirely up to us to pick out the pearls and discard the oysters.

After creating histories of struggles and study, today the human world is finally taking the giant leaps that it has always aspird for. Eveidently, endless travail, meticulousness and perseverance are behind this immense success but there is one more thing that has made human beings capable of meeting all the challenges and conquering them- the ability to ask questions and the determination to search for the answers.

Now, the habit of asking questions is often considered to be irksome because all queries are not that simple to answer. Why, some questions may not even have a plausible response! So, most questions are slaughtered before they even rise their curious heads. Doubting is daring task. In order to soubt, one needs to break free from the cozy shell f conventionl, preconceived ideas and step into an unchrted territory which might lead anywhre. Even the path to the answers are not always easy. That is why ignorance is considered to be bliss by many. It is difficult to imagine fifty Newtons running to discover why the apple falls downward rather than flying upward. Isn't it more convenient to sit under the tree and enjoy the fruit instead? Or why should we question our glorious myths about the sun, moon and their magnificent chariots by rushing out into space in order to experiment and investigate? Doubt, indeed, makes submissive people inquisitive!

Doubting definitely doesn't mean distrusting everything and everybody. However, once the questions start being raised, it must be understood that the minds are at work. Some of the gretest revolutions ever are the consequences of this seemingly unquenchable quest for answers. Questions instigate, stimulate and continue the process of change in self and society. Doubting and learning are inter-connected. The more we doubt, the more we learn and the vice versa . The more skilled we become at doubting, the closer we will get to the reality. Whether it is plesant or unplesant, doubting sharpens and deepens our knowledge of things.

Skepticism is not a millstone. It is the guideline which enables us to follow the correct direction. wisdom has its foundations on doubt which leds to questions and ultimtely to the truth, or a truth in this world of contradictory turths. So, why be afraid of making inquiries and seeking for the answers? Who knows,the truth might just be waiting round the corner!

Not just a mother

"So you are just a mother now!" sighed my friend. She was disappointed to see me at home with my newborn daughter, without a full time job. For past yer or so, I have heard many friends, relatives and even total strangers express their disapproval of my decision to be a full time mom.

Feminists, self-improvement gurus, rights activists have done a fine job educative women and their partners about the need for women to have a place outside home where they can realize their full potential. Staying home, out of choice our out of necessity is frowned upon as a form of assault against women's rights. I was one of them. All my adult life I firmly believed that women should work outside home and not limit themselves to caring for their family.

Unfortuntely, feminist movement and its leaders failed to send heir message to the While House and the Congress. In today's America, despite allthe strides made in securing women's right to education, health, employent, security, very little has been done to insure her right to enjoy being a mother.

Let us skip the health care part, I am sure it will take few hundred pages to discuss that mess. Forcusing on availability of quality and affordabel child care and flexible working hours and workplaced tht does not discriminate working mothers through denied promotions and hostile working hours, mothers in America are forced to make very difficult decisions. Add to this the judgment imposed upon mothers bythe dreligious groups and their fanatic supporters. They see working mothers as evil because they are "selfish" to seek fulfillment outside home and they cry against stay at home moms too - especially if they are poor and depend on government benefits programs-from taking it easy on tax payer money.

So wht is a mother to do? She's damned if she works and damned if she doesn't.

In today's economy where more and more families are struggling to just get by, the importance of having a working moher cannot be exaggerated. Any amount of extra cash is god send for millions and yet I have not heard anything from the new administation to help mothers. In my case, the decision to stay at home not only brought me disappointed looks from family and friends but also a boatload of guild. America, for all Nepalese who have heard of the country,m is the ultimate land f opprtunities. People work very hard, try all trickson the book to come here. And now tht I am here, I am choosing to let go of the opportunity to stay home, what an aberration!

What is being over looked here, along with how big my waist line has gotten is that I am not just a mother. I am raising my daughter in a country whose values and culture I am sparingly familar with, a country with a high rte of psychlogical and emotional problems among children and teens, where getting into good schools and universities is as sstressful as competitive sport. My duty is to raise her right, teach her my values and heritge nd also teach her tobe a good American. There is no way a paid caregiver can accomplish this enormous task. I am not just a mother for her.

If can when the government comes to its senses and announces programs to help working mothers, I will be among the ones cheering most loudly but yu will not see me runniung to join the workforce until my daughter is off to school.

Yer blues

There is an increasing suicidal trend around the world

We have today beause there is tomorrow. People who fall to see tomorrow choose to did today. Around the world, an incrasing suicidal trend shown that the number of people who do not see tomorrow is rising. Why do some individuals fail to see tomorrow? What constitutes tomorrow for an invidual? I will try to discuss some of its possible aspects in this column.

Let me begin with a story of my close friend who studied at Budhanilkantha School, one of the most prestigious schools of Nepal, completed ISc from Trichandra College, and in 1996 at the age of 19, went to Australia in pursuit of higher education, unconditional freedom and an international career. His family expected him to send back millions. It was natural because his family had given the son and heir the best the city offered and dreamed about making him a doctor after his ISc.

In Australia, he found a job at a fast food restaurant and enrolled in evening college. After working for a few days, he became obsessed by the fear of destroying his life by doing such dirty work. He had to clean the toilet, wash tables and do other dirty jobs. He frequently used to remember the prestige he had erned in Nepal as a product of a renewned school. A sense of inferiority complex, humiliation, lost identity, loneliness and doubts about meeting his family's expectation strated to obsess him. It was often hard to pay his tuition fees. Gradually, a sense of worthlessness and fear of being unsuccesssful engulfed him. He resorted to alcoholism to overcome these mixed feelings of fear and inferiority.

In 2000, he went to the United Kingdon to settle there with his girlfriend. In London, he could not find a job and became totally dependent on his girlfriend. Limited mobility and loneliness intensified his drinking habit. He saw too many conflicting complexities in his life. He could neither marry and settle in the U.K. nor bring his girlfriend to Nepal. There was also high family expectations from the only son, but his life was getting ruined.

"One fine day in 2002, " my friend said to me, "I thought of writing a suicide note and ending my life. But again, I thought, if I am going to die, wht's a suicide note for? I did nt give a second chance to ponder about life. I had stopped to see tomorrow for me. I hanged myself in my own room with a rope. Thank god, I did not die. After three days in hospital, my conscioousness returned."

In 2003, he finally returned to Nepl and married a Nepali girl. He shared his whole problem with his family to me, "My family can understand the problem, but the problem is that we carry our problems in our head over the years and never share them with our family.

We are living in a complex society, and it is become even more complex. There is an increasisng ratio mental and emotional health problems whether we live in a rich or poor society. To the people living with mental health problems, of a common or serious type, it is vital to break the silence first with fmily members before it ruins one's life, breaks family dreams and creates huge isolation in the individual.

Therefore, I always encourage everybody to tell their probelms first to their families. The family lies at the centdre of life. If hope is lost in the family, hardly any society can give hope to an individual. Marriage, family, employment, sex and peace constitute tomorrow for an individual within the family system.

In the present scenario, if we start to discuss the mental halth of the Nepalese people, sadly, I claim that the entire population suffers from a common type of mental health problem called inferiority complex. If our future is dark, itis not because of political conflict or other societal conditions, it is because of this fatal illness inferiority complex.

Till now, we neither have any national dream nor faith in ourselves. The mindset of defeat has gripped the nation and the individual. The nation has dismissed the potential of youth. The needs of mentally and physically challenged youths have been totally ignored. Ignorance of the needs of differently able people is the rising cause of suicides around the world. Basically, an individual living with mental health problems without hope of getting support from society and family is vulnerable to committing suicide.

My collegue Niraj Bhari, chief executive officer of a successful publishing house, recently said to me. "Our government and private institutions must direct huge investments at promoting the entrepreneurship of youths across the country. Agriculture, tourism and hydropower are our riches to combat the deadly inferiority complex that has over-whelmed this country's people. Only it can solve our national problems by creating large numbers of job for youths within the country."

I think, above all, what is urgently needed for this country is the destruction of the defealist illness inferiourity complex to secure a bright tomorrow for us and genertions to come. We must be able to create an abundance of opportunity for youths. What we require now is an industrious spirit, asense of pride in our originality, change in the practice of looking negatively at everything and most importantly, we need a national dream and a commitment to purse it. 

Green tea, mushrooms cut Brast Cancer risk

Chinese women who ate mushrooms and drank green tea significantly cut their risk of brast cancer and the serverity of the cancer in those who did develop it, an Australian resercher said Wednesday.

Min zhang, from the University of Western Australia, studied the diets of 2,018 women from the southeastern Chinese city of Hangzhou - half of whom had breast cancer - between July 2004 andSeptember 2005.

Wshile brast cancer was the most common type of cancer for women worldwide, Min said the rate in China was four to five times lower than that typically found in developed countries.  

"We concluded that higher dietary in take of mushrooms decreased breast cancer risk in pre and post-menopausal Chinese women, and an additional decreased risk of breast cancer from the joint effect of mushrooms and green tea was observed, "Min tol AFP.

"The risk of breast cancer significantly declined with the highest intake of dietary mushroomns, "she said, adding that fresh and dried mushrooms were equally effective.

Eating as little as 10 grams, or less than one botton mushroom daily, would have a beneficial effect, Min found, with the women who consumed the most fresh mushrooms around two-third less likely to develop breast cancer compared with those who did not eat mushrooms.

In addition to lowering the cancer risk, green tea and mushrooms also cut the malignancy of any cancer which did form, Min found.  

The fact that the combination of green tea and mushrooms was more effecive than just mushrooms alone could partially explain the lower incidence of breast cancer amongst Chinese women, she said. 

"To our knowledge, this is the first human study to evaluate the joint effect of mushrooms and green tea on breast cancer, "  she said .

"our findings, if confirmed consistently in ohter research, have potential implicatins for protection against breast cancer development using an in expensive dietary intervention."

The study was published  in the msot rcent issue of the International Journal of Cancer, and is one in a series of Asian studies by Min and her team on she anticarcinogenic effects of phytochemicals.

Making a commitment

Committing oneself is a noble thing and upholds one's integrity, dignity and sense of responsibility. Thsi has to do with engaging ina project, running a family business or writing a thesis. And can be done in an opportune mnoment ina manner befitting oneself, Making aneffort inkey areas means moveing ahead in a fixed or flexibletimetable. Thius falls under one's parameters and the response engendered since it is feed-back received.

The time may come when old, worn out routine is scrapped altogether anda fresh start madesothat onelooksforward in anticipation of new plans and actions. Commitment to one's growing interest could garner support from one's immediate circle. Perhaps it could entail using one's ability to the maximum while trying to fathom the level at which one works best -- leaving a margin of error.

Committing to the task at hand means getting it done without taking a break and could take stop -gap measures to bring it into fruition.

But the reward will be there for everyone to revel in -- a justification for the status quo since it augurs will for the future. This may not be a simple as it sounds but then taking a risk could worth it if the dice is loaded in one's favour.

The present moment could be spent in tryingout new schemes and take advantage of any opportunity provided. It marks the renewal of energy in getting things started. Thinking ofa setback at this point is well- nigh impossible if there ismotivationand incentive. The application of effort assures that mistakes will nt be made and a learning process put into gear. When oneis committed to doing something only a minimum needds to be done at the outset.

While it gathers momentum new details are added to make it a going conern. Woriking out alterntives is, therefore, welcome and a change in the scenario made possible. trying not to overdo can be taken into account . Giving one's best is the response to expect while making sure that there is little or no possibility of anything going wrong. Last minute prepartion is to be aboided and is immediate concerns given attnetion. The need is to apply the right kind of pressure so tht everyting works out as planned.

Losing Battle

Drug abuse knows no boundary. What makes it even more targic is that the addicted are mostly youths. This has telling effects on the economies particularly of developing countries, for youth are the most productive segment in all societies, not to talkaboutwhat it has onthem such as juvenile delinquency andthe resulting sstrife. Despite all efforts being made to eradicate substance abuse, we are fighting a losing battle as the number of those flling prey to drug addiction is on the rise. Nepal, too, has an ever growing numbe rof victims of drug abuse. Frustration amongst the youth, for which society is partly to be blamed, and also peer pressure notice innocent young people to experiment with durgs, which are some of the major reasons for this malady. The government alone cannot successfully carry out campaigns to deal with drug abuse. There are many NGOs working for the rehabilittion of drug addicts in the country, but these are not sufficient to accomodate the increasing number of drug addicts. A matter of serious concern is that the rehabilitation centres alone are not able to wean the durg addicts and they return to drugs once they are out of the treatment centre, and that is attributed to lack of support from their families and the society.

The drug addicts should be treated in a humane manner and receive all possible support for they are despertely inned of them. We find many of them put into prison when they shuld be put in rehabilittion centres. However, it must be remembered that it is best to treat their addiction in a friendly environment, which only hahome and such other places can provide. A survey shows that about 38 per cent of inmates inNepal use drugs. This figure is worth delving into and shows that many of hose addicted to drugs have been imprisoned, for society and authorities are unable to deal with them. The question that can be raised here is as to how the drugs reach the inmates. Clearly, this shows illegal dealing in drugs is taking place even in these high security places, not to talk about the streets, with the involvement of people in high places and durg traffickers in this illegal enterprise.

It is found the authorities have made only half-hearted efforts to control the pedding of durgs. The drug peddlers and traffickers are able to carrfy out their clandestine activities with virtual impunity. Although most countries in the world have strict laws against drug trafficking, this has not succeeded in deterring the traffickers. The trafficking takes place on a global scale, and this is getting increasingly sophisticated at aboiding detection from even the state of the art security checks. Since drug addiction is a global phenomennon, the international community should work in union inorder to deal with the scourge. This requires commitment from all conerned, and only then will some headway be made in this direction in the ultimate bid to eradicate it. As of now, these efforts have not been successful. Acording to a recent report by the United Nations, the global campaign against drug abuse is be coming unsuccessful. This calls for concerted efforts to deal with this spreading sourge in a more effective manner.

When was the last time you desperately wanted the company of friends and people around you? We want to be with people who made us feel good, valued, and happy. It's not a bad idea to spend time with friends, people we like and love. It always makes one feel special when one spends time with positive people and enjoys their company.

There was time when I used to always want to be around my friends and other interesting people. I didn't want to be alone. One day, my friend brought a book for me titled. The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teenagers by Sean Covey. This book had a positive effect on me.

The author advises that before we will ever win in the public arenas of life, we must first win private battles within ourselves. In other words, it's necessary for us to deal with ourselves and our character in order to deal with relationships.

In the past, I badly wanted people to be with me. I found being alone painful and unpleasant. When people didn't choose to spend time with me, I felt lonely, sad, and worthless. Then one day, I realized that I had forgotten to enjoy and love myself. I went to the part, theatre, and library alone. I read and wrote to overcome my loneliness. I began to enjoy myself by dancing alone in my room. Now I feel much better when I am engaged in my hobbies. I have a purpose in life. I want to do something.

W. Mitchell, a self-made millionaire, a much sought-after speaker, a former mayor, a river rafter and sky-diver said, "It's not what happens to you in life, it's what you do about it." We may feel lonely at times in our life. There are always alternatives.

Either we can choose to worry that we have no one or we can take pride in enjoying ourselves and be happy in our lives. The reality is we were born alone and we are going to die alone. It's good idea to have some interests of our own so that we don't feel bored and lonely. We want to have quality time with people we like and love. But does it mean we don't take some time for ourselves? Isn't it necessary for us to do things for ourselves too? Can't we think of spending time developing talents and hobbies? We give so much value to people. And we forget our importance. Some may forget we deserve to be loved. How can we expect to have close relationships when we think we don't deserve to be loved?

It's always good to have an ambition so that we have some thing to look forward to, a purpose in life, a hope. Then, we put all our effort into achieving our goals which make us feel alive. Living without purpose and always seeking to get company without realizing our own worth and enjoying ourselves can be really monotonous.

Price Tags scare me

Every time I enter a depantmental store and look for good clothes, I have the same fantasy buying withut looking at the price tags. The irony, however, is that price tags scare me, they tease me. If there's something attractive I can't afford, the outfit always puts me a question tag before me -you can't buy me, can you? Is that why they are called price tags?

I remember the moments when I'd finally give in after loking at the price tags. But there was always one readymade excuse-- I'd tell the salesperson, "It's very good but it's not exactly what I'm looking for". I knew, with my experience, that this was the best answer that would terminate any chances of further persuasion to buy and end all conversations without being rude to them. Every time I liked something I couldn't afford, I turned and tossed the item to my heart's content and waxed lyrical aboutit, "It's very good but it's not exactly what I'm looking for." One such incident taught me that the easiest way to remian happy is to like only things within one's budget.

I remember vividly the incident on 2nd October, 2008 at Frankfurt Airport, Germany, local time 7:45 am. I was browsing at the duty-free shop when my eyes fell ona sweater. When I actually touched the cloth and felt it, a mad lust to own it surged in me. I adored it so much that I forgot to look at its price before rushing into the trial room. The size was perfect and really did I cut a dash in it. I'd never realized I could look that handsome. It was only when I was glaring at myself in the mirror that the price tag slowly stood up from the back of my neck. I was started-how much was it worth? Mustering all my courage I flipped the tag. My eyes got the greatest shock of their life. And why wouldn't they, they'd never before seen a sweater worth Euro 3,999!The salesgirl looked expectantly at me as I emerged out- little did she know that I always had an answer in cases like these . I widened my smile as much as I could and said, "It is very nice, but it's not exactly what I'm looking for."

I boarded the plane and as I was exhausted, I soon feel asleep. I had a sweet dream. In my dream I was flaunting a sweater, the same sweater, to my friends. But I suddenly awoke when the price tag flashed in my dream, too. The words Euro 3999,3999,3999 were resounding in my head as I awoke. Finally, I thought I should let it go and forget all this because what's importantis a good piece of clothing, not where you buy it and definitely not the price tagged on it. It's best to cut your coat according to your cloth.

Child worker's woes

Employment of children under the age of 14 as domestic help or in restaurants,hotels. teashop, resorts and other recreational centdres has been made illegal in Nepal for the last few years. Needless to say, child laboruis one of Nepal's most intractable social problems. Under the existing law, children are already banned from working in a number of industries including bakery, handloom, cigratte-manufacturing, glass-makingand meat-processing, etc. the latest ban, announced by the labour ministry, is aimed at "ameliorting the condition of helpless working children from psychological traumas and at times, even sexual abuse. "The penalty for flouting the law is a jail term ranging from three months to two years, with or without a fine that could range from Rs.10,000 to Rs 20,000.

Unfortunately, the record so far on enforcement of the ban is dismal. The fact is that the country now has 1-1.5million child workers, who contribute 10 per cent of the gross national product (GNP). UNICEF estimates that one of every five children under 14 working outside the family is a domestic worker in Nepal. Well, the government has passed a law banning employment of children. So, wat's new?

Some years ago, the gvernment of Nepal had amended the civil servants' code of conduct to bar civil servants from employing children under14. But little has been done on the ground to ensure that the ruleis being followed by civil servants. As child labouris deeply rooted inpoverty, even limited anti-child labour provisions have proved almost impossible to enforce. This has forced successive governments to take a gradual approach for its aboliltion. In a survery of child domestic workers in Kathmandu, it was found that many schools serving the poor were of such low quality that the expected return from education was not equal to the sacrifice of income made during school years. At the same time, many house-holds that employ child workers as domestic help argue that they are doing their families a favour by providing them employment .

The question is: Who will take care of them once they are prevented from earning their liveli-hood ? After all, on their meager erning depends the survival of their families. Only parents who are unable to provide for their children push them into those jobs. Economists and industry-watchers warn that the ban will not only spell economic doom for hundreds of thousands of poor families but it will also saddle our society with other social problems. This new caveat will throw milllions of children out of job.

Unless there is a mechanism for rehabilitation of such children who are forced to work for their survival, such laws will prove ineffective. We must not forget that the problem of child labour is the direct outcome of grinding poverty in the country. And proper solution to the problem cannot be found as long as we ignore this fact.

Children and Drugs

Your 15 year-old son /daughter was in the habit of hanging out with a pretty rough crowd and suddenly s/he does not have anything to do with you. His/her bedroom is more or less permanently closed and loud thumping music emanates from the dark room. Any attempt on your part to communicate is answered with mnosyllabic grunts. Is this the scourge of adolescence or is there something more serious lurking there? It is important for all parents to recognise that every child is at some level of risk f drug abuse. Today parents cannot afford to shrug off this question by saying, "Not my kids!"

Teenage is a vulnerable time for young people who may resort to drug because of curiosity, peer pressure, experimentation and the easy availability of drugs. Teens tend to be risk-takers and they may take drugs or drink because it sems exciting.

The physical signs of addiction can vary dedpending on the person and the drug being used. Be careful not to assume, however, that drugs are the problem. Teenagers give off many of these signals when they are distressed in other ways to. You'll need to sort out with your child as to what exacatly the problem is.

Teenagers enjoy privacy, but exaggerated efforts to bar family members from entering their rooms or knowing their whereabouts might indicate the possibility of their being drug abusers. Some of them may not show up till the next day, and give some excuse that they spent the night at so-and-so's house but forgot to call you. When they do this, there is a good chance they were high on some thing and were in no condition to call or come home or they passed out somewhere.

Drugs are an all-too-real possibility. If you start wondering whether or not your child is telling you the truth, there is a good chance that your instincts are right. Does your child suddently show a new personality which you don't like one bit? Has your child developed a tough attitude? If your child is experimenting with durgs, there's a good chance you will see these attitudinal changes. Often parents see this as a normal teenage behav'ior and ignore it. Note that these indications could also be signs of major depression or suicide tendencies. If these tendencies persist, please do not ignore them, but seek professional help for your child without delay.

All parents make resolutions from time to time. Many feel inadequate as they look back on some past parenting practices. May be you and your children too much, overreact when they mess up, and probably regret not spending enough time with them. Michel Grose, author and educator on parenting, says, "Don't be too hard on yourself. Not only is parenting the world's hardest job but children aren't born with an owner's manual so we try to rely on trial and error a great deal. "A recent study highlighted that 93 percent of students say their parents are the number one influence in their lives. Clearly, we need to give a thought to those areas in which parents choose to influence their children. Embrace parenting with passion and with the understanding that you are the most important person in your child's life. These empowering parenting resolutions will help your child become a better person.

Being a good role model is one of the most important parts of parenting and most parents do not realize the amount of influence they have over their children, who learn all kinds of things from watching parents. They learn social skill, which can be as basic as saying 'please' and 'thank you' or more subtle, like how you respond to stress and anger. Children with their parents in these social situations and learn from them. "It can be overwhelming to think about all the wonderful habits you want your child to have, and how best to model them. But you will inspire plenty of fine behavior if you just choose a few principles close to your heart- say, generosity, honesty, and kindness - and let your action follow naturally," says William Mitchell, a clinical child psychologist in Penfield, New York. You can examine your own behavior and set a good example for your child. If you abuse drugs or alcohol, your children are going to pick up on it. Healthy habits and active lifestyle and love of learning are among other practices children can learn from your action. Therefore, as a parent be the person you want your child to be. The better you behave and respond to any sit situation in your everyday life the better your children will be.

It is useful to keep in mind that children learn from example. If you develop a habit f ignoring your needs, you children may pick up this message and feel sad and/or guilty. Or they may internalize the message that mothers do not have lives of their own and carry this unrealistic vision forward into their own adult relationships. Gayle Peterson, family therapist says, "A son may grow up to expect his wife to sacrifice more than himself. A daughter may grow up failing to address her own needs as legitimate when she becomes a mother.

Secure your own mask first, before putting a mask on your child."

The years of childhood can shape the rest of our life

It is clear that a child's future is largely molded in schools by peers and teachers. Nonetheless, something strange is happening here. Apart from Zero tolerance practiced in most schools in Nepal, what is frustrating is the lack of interest in and understanding of childhood among educators. Recently, during a screening of documentaries at the City Hall, I saw school children clap when a graphic display on screen said that tens of thousands of women have been killed in Iraq since the US invasion. I do not particularly blame those school children in uniform for their insensitivity, and was not infuriated when they whistled and shouted time and again. I was enraged by their teachers who dragged them to watch the film without explaining the context.

A similar incident occurred during the Theatre Festival. School students, may be third of fourth graders, were ushered to watch a play which was obviously beyond their grasp. In another case, school children thronged into the theater to watch a highly symbolic and metaphorical play. Afraid of being flogged, they remained quiet, but their faces clearly revealed their mounting boredom. The teachers could have read the program guide and selected a film that was accessible and interesting for the children. But all they wanted to do was flaunt of their concern and authority over the kids.

Childhood covers a short period of our life, but it has a tremendous effect on the rest of our life. Or may be we remain a child all our life. After all, curiosity and a desire for mischief never leave us. As a child we play daddy, mummy, doctor, and pilot. When we grow up, we repeat these acts; only, these acts now represent 'reality'. We are constantly under pressure to live as adults but as soon we are alone, we become children again. We gaze at the stars in wonder. We crave for play but restrict ourselves. You are an adult, the society tells us and we try to shut the world of fantasy inside us. No wonder the fantasy in fiction and films sell so much. It is not just children who have made Harry Patter or the Lord of the Ring so successful.

One day my friend's son asked me: Who is more powerful, Lord Shiva or Hulk? Where do Power Rangers live? I said neither Shiva nor Hulk was as strong as Superman, and Power Rangers live in America. He believed and went away satisfied. Sometimes I get angry when people ask children to just shut up, you are just a kid. The very next moment they say you are not a kid, behave responsibly. The grown-ups rarely understand children even though they too were once children. If a child does something wrong, why don't they first explain the reasons instead of scolding him/her? And if the child does not want to do the 'right' things, why can't they let the child be? Adults are not always 'right', are they? This reminds me of a film Bridge to Terabit, which brilliantly explores the minds of children. It shows how children bring incredible characters from their books and imagination into their real world. i think all teachers and parents must watch this film. It will explain why6 children act odd, how they talk to themselves, why they make noise. These are children. They should grow freely. Lets us not impose ourselves on them.

Indispensable parents

Today's youth want to be independent and try to drift away from their parents and other family members. As they grow they resent any interference and feel that their parents and relatives are more of a hindrance than a help. As bachelors they want to be at a distance from parents to avoid their checks and prying eyes.

After marriage they want to live separately as a nuclear family for privacy and 'welfare' of their children. Unfortunately, their spouses encourage and even pester them to stay away from the joint family for some reasons or other.

The tendency of our youth to thoughtlessly imitate: Western culture has upset our joint family system. Due to new job opportunities, single and married youth have to move away from parents. But even when staying away, cordial relations can be maintained with parents by giving them the feeling that you care and are concerned about them by your visits, phone calls, letters attending family functions and requesting them to visit you and welcoming them at your place. Just thinking about yourself, your spouse, and children while ignoring parents and other family members will cut you off from the family life-line which is very important for emotional support and happiness.

For sons, daughters and daughters-in-law, the ties with parents is a lifeline for various reasons. Parents and elders of the family are the greatest well-wishers of their children. If at any time they show their anger or do not agree with your views or do not support you on your decisions, do not become cross with them. Although, you may not realize it today but time will prove that they were right most of the times. They may not be as educated as you are today but they have long experience and gone through many ups and downs in life.

You never know when you will have to face awkward situations in life. If you have kept the family lifeline intact, rest assured that your parents and people will definitely come to your rescue although you may attitude, arrogance, and adamant behavior in the past.

Parents today are no more as rigid as in the past and are often quite open t adopting new views. If they still resist some actions of their grown-up children, it is either due to some compulsions of the community in which they are living or due their foresight of the possible harm they may cause to their beloved children.

Many youths think they do not need anybody to help them. They have good neighbors, friends and money which will see them through all adversities. No doubt, neighbors, friends, and colleagues are of great value. Money is a great mover and it may fulfill most of the requirements. But these do not fill the void that you have created by distancing yourself from your parents and other family members.

In Nepal, 'Mana pathi bharni' (a paltry 'maintenance allowance') is the official, legal phrases used to denote the meager allowance that the husband gives his wife upon a divorce. Obviously, as the phrase itself suggests, it is an amount just enough to 'fill her stomach'. In the past, women accepted this humiliating allowance probably because there was no other option for them.

In those days, a divorced woman was definitely considered a 'discarded' woman. She was 'unwanted' not only by her husband, but also by society. Families shunned her because she was an embarrassment to them. Parents took her back out of a sense of duty or pity. If they were no longer alive, brothers gave her shelter so that she could cook, look after their children, and generally help around the household works while they and their families went about their work. Although law had given her right of equal inheritance on her husband's or father's property, these men were p o w e r f u l enough to will her right away from her. Even in a joint family, women rarely got heir fair share of the property.

Women have increasingly become aware of their rights as equal citizens. A large number of Nepali women today are educated and empowered enough to insist on an equitable deal from the establishment and society. Because of this groundswell of opinion-building, laws have changed slowly but steadily. However, the fact remains that although the succession act names a daughter or wife as an equal inheritor in her patriarchal or matrimonial family's property, but actuality she still does not inherit any of its unless she goes to court and fight a long, arduous battle for her rights. There is no law yet which clearly shows the husband and wife as co-owners of matrimonial property.

Women have now been made to empower women to enjoy their rights. Perhaps, this is a beacon of hope for women who are still forced to survive on paltry 'maintenance allowances' after suffering the trauma of divorce or separation. It is also to be noted that today, more couples are opting for divorce rather than staying on in a failed marriage. So, if a whole body of judicial opinion and care law gathers momentum, the government may be forced to take a serious look at archaic laws and change them to be in consonance with the needs of present day society in which a woman is an equal citizen with equal rights.

However, the best path for women to take is undoubtedly that of self-reliance. Married or single, a woman must find away to become financially independent and live a life a respect and dignity. There is no alternative to this strategy!

They called her mother and worshipped her. She bore babies and pain, cleaned up, shopped, soothed, read out bedtime tales, and upheld tradition until one day, she fund the pedestal too cramped. Mothers felt a scram rising in the throat. There are many restless, depressed, anxious, and irritable mothers around. Side-stepped by the corporative world and taken for granted by families, it is stress and conflict that mothers experience far more than the 'maternal bliss' that grandmas and parenting manuals promise. Due to the impossible load of child bearing and rearing placed exclusively on the mother-even by parenting 'experts' (who usually happen to be male doctors)- women feel ill-equipped to deal with motherhood. They are also worried about what motherhood could do for their careers. Pitched against idealized their stereotypes while trying to realize their potential as human beings and workers, a whole generation of mothers is feeling confused and guilty.

"This is the right time to remember that a child has two parents," says Perry Morrison, a clinical psychologist based in London. "It's time for the father's role to change. Earlier research conducted by social and clinical psychologists found that fathers play with and entertain children, while mothers feed, bathe, and change them. Current research shows that fathers are getting more involved, but it's clearly not enough." Perry observes that women are now cautious while considering mother-hood. "Women are in demanding, competitive careers. One wonders what will become of the career when the baby comes. Also, while divorce is a strong option to end a marriage, parenthood is forever.

While early feminism was accused of depicting mother-hood as a hindrance to self-actualization, second wave feminism urged women to follow their true desire. In her 1981 book, noted feminist Berry Freidan wrote that feminism should also recognize the emotional needs of women as potential mothers or as people who wanted to have a strong home life as well. She said the women's movement should focus on working with men to remake private and public arrangements that work against full lives with children for both women and men. "Have a child only when you want one badly enough to deal with everything that comes after. Share your fears with your partners to ease out things. A child-friendly environment will improve the experience of becoming a mother, "says Perry, strongly recommending that fathers should step into the process of "loving and nurturing".

The contemporary woman is largely unaware that her perceptions of motherhood have been tempered with at many levels. She is torn between wanting to be and not wanting to be a mother, while trying to realize her other goals. She makes a lonely, angst-ridden mother who often thinks, "It's all my fault if my children do not turn out well."

This may seem hilarious, but the reality often ends up like this after a few years of marriage. Life gets trapped in the humdrum of daily existence and before you know it, you can bed rifting apart from your spouse slowly, but inexorably. The signs are in the air. You can feel your life being measured out by the many domestic chores that need to be taken care of. It suddenly lacks the liberal dose of romance that it used to have.

The main reason for this crisis in a marriage is familiarity. Once the initial euphoria of being a couple has blown over, complacency sets in. After a few children are born, women tend to get a little casual about their appearance. In fact, most women complain about the same regarding their husbands. Once this 'take for granted' attitude comes into a relationship it is very difficult to lead the sparks fly as they used to. It is not that the chemistry is no longer there, it is just that people stop reading the signs the way they used to. Though, most relationships must reach the a phase knows as "the comfort zone" in love jargon, the trouble is that these very signs in a relationship can lead to a communication gap, or worse a case where spouses become indifferent to each other. The problem with many such situations is that you hardly get to know when they are happening and before you know it, you are drifting far apart from each other.

One of the most unmistakable signs of such a crisis is that you will stop feeling the need to communicate or bond with each other, may be emotionally or even physically.

It takes very little time and effort to give a little of yourself but the ultimate response to every such crisis has to be a will to fight back. A time may come when a relationship reaches the breaking point but the disaster may be easily averted if the couple is able to decide to change things in time. Like every other relationship, a mid-marriage crisis occurs because somewhere along the line we forget our priorities in life.

People should ask themselves before getting into a relationship or marriage what they are looking for in a partner. When they face the crisis they should reassert these same desires and understand why the attraction happened in the first place. If the very foundation of your marriage is weak, may never be able to build a source relationship.

To day's youngsters are facing a common problem. They say, "Our parents neither understand nor try to understand us". Interestingly, their parents say the same thing. "We are too old-fashioned for our children. They don't understand or try to understand us. "Both sides blame each other for not trying to understand.

Be it in the advanced society of Europe or America, or a developing nation like Nepal, there is always a conflict between the two generations. In fact, the more modernized a society, the deeper the confrontation. Disparity in thoughts and lifestyle is an outcome of modern education, so this rift is not as pronounced in traditional societies. With this assumption, it can be said that the generation conflict in Nepal is less than in the United Sates. Within Nepal itself, this gap is less significant in, say Dolpo than in Kathmandu. In societies that are going through a transition, such a conflict may have severe consequences on the life of individuals. In Nepali society, where deference to elders is taken for granted, this conflict can be very intense.

One of the reasons for this conflict is the societal structure. Clashes are bound to take place when the young and the old generations live under the same roof. Probably the best example of such tension can be seen in bees, which are considered a family due to their organizational structure. The conflict in this family, however, is very dangerous, with the losers having to abandon the "house".

Usually there is a lack of trust between youths and oldies. Young people say - our parents burden us with their expectations; we are controlled by their ideas and values, they under-mine our independence. Parents on the other hand say - we gave birth to them and raised them' we know them better than they do themselves'; we have seen the world longer than they have; we are their parents, we'll always do what's best for them.

Both sides seem to make sense up to a certain point. However, it is a universal truth that the parents too had such conflict with their parents once. The question is: will this state of conflict ever end? Will parents and children always have rifts?

The root of conflict lies deep in the foundation of society. Youths have long been expected to follow their predecessors. But modern education teaches them to have their own view of life and the world. Many young people are abandoning old morals and values for no immediate purpose. To them, giving up "old things" is a path to modernity.

As modern life grown more complicated, young people are faced with the challenge of educating themselves, making a career, and also crating a family. These are not simple demands, and they sometimes lead to frustration and failure. In the process, if the older generation tries to impose their ideas on them, they are shoved to a corner. Contrarily, the old people want to preserve their cultural and traditional authority.

They long their children to fulfill all their unattained dreams, to mould their past failures into successes, resulting in a crisis of faith. The young people are by nature rebellious. Their youthful ideology clashes with their parents' ideology, which does not appeal to them. Parents, meanwhile, either do not accept or are suspicious of "new ideas".

To sum up, parents need to be reasonable with their children. They must be let them create their own identity. Likewise the children have to remember that their parents do not wish to harm them. Both must create an environment of dialogue to avoid the clash.

According to a recently conducted study by an NGO in Nepal, the typical rape victim is between 15 and 35 years of age. Divorcees and women separated form their husbands are raped more frequently than married women because they are likely to go out alone. Divorced and women separated from their husbands are often raped by their ex-husbands as "punishment", whereas single women face the danger of date rape.

Females of any age may be the victims of rape. We have all heard of disgusting, stomach-churning cases in which babies and toddlers have been raped while rapes of even old women as acts of revenge or during times of war are reported.

Rape can certainly take place anywhere in empty parking lots, blind alleys, secluded streets, parks and construction sties. Rapists tend to hang around places where large number of women live, work, and study. This includes hostels, libraries, college campuses, office blocks, etc. Victims are not chosen on the basis of attractiveness but on the basis of availability, accessibility, and vulnerability.

The goal of rape is rarely sex. It is a complex act motivated by a variety of causes that have their roots in the dark underbelly of society and in the twisted psyche of the rapist. It often expresses rage and frustration. The rapist wants to prove his strength and power, and his ability to control and exploit. He often harbors a lot of hostility toward women because of his own childhood. He is often a person with low self-esteem and uses rape as a way to compensate for his own feelings of inadequacy.

Again rapists are rarely total strangers and women are often raped by men they know. Courts are also now recognizing that even husbands can rape their wives, rape being defined as sex that is brutally forced on an unwilling woman. So when husbands use force to have sex with unwilling wives, it is indeed rape and an extreme form of domestic violence.

So many women are often not safe even in their own homes. Not only can a member of their own families rape them but outsiders can also break in and attack them. No, rapes do not take place only in dark and deserted places.

The greatest misconception about rape is the "she asked of it" theory offered by the defense lawyers of the rape accused. But rape victims rarely, if ever, include provocatively dressed women or those who behave in an 'inviting' manner. Even the most virtuous of women can be raped, just because she is a woman.

The police, defense lawyers of the rape accused and even judges often argue that a rape is not a rape unless the victim bears marks of violence and torture on her body. Otherwise, the sex was possibly consensual, they argue. But they are wrong. Fear can make a woman submit and the threat of violence, mutilation, and death can make her freeze and even lose consciousness.

We have heard of children dying because they imitated something they saw on TV. But do you know that the negative effects of TV spread over many aspects of a child's life?

In most houses, TV remains on for most of the evening. Unfortunately, watching TV often has a negative impact on children.

Children are particularly vulnerable to TV because they do not fully understand that TV is a make-believe world. Most of us have read reports of young children injuring themselves, even dying, because they imitated what they saw on TV without realizing the danger involved in such acts. They were merely stunts performed with special camera effects. Even a child who does not try to imitate something dangerous is influenced by what s/he sees. The fantasy worlds on television, whether soap operas, cartoons, movies, or fashion shows, are fascinating and addictive. They become an escape from routing activities like studying plying and working.

Next time you watch TV; note the number of advertisements for unhealthy foods like colas, chocolates, sweets, instant noodles, fried snacks, and fast food outlets.

Almost all show slender beautiful women and active, cheerful children eating junk food and looking healthy and happy. Children watching these advertisements start believing that such food is good and healthy besides being tasty.

Most advertisement treats food as emotional symbols. So a child may want a chocolate bar that denotes love and caring, or a brand of chips that denotes fun or a particular brand of cola because it is the drink of the child's favorite film star or cricketer.

Another problem is that watching TV is a sedentary activity. Children watch TV indoors and tend to take snack while watching it. Combined with poor eating habits, excessive TV watching leads to over-weight and obesity. In his book How Television Poisons Children's Mind. Miles Everest points out that we normally don't allow our children to talk to strangers, into their minds and souls everyday and letting them set the standards of right and wrong for our children.

To reduce the negative effects of TV, parents should it with the child who's watching TV and make comments to explain the back-ground of the show on screen. For example, for who depicting stunts, explain how the stunt is actually a photography trick and uses doubles and dummies. Support what you are explaining with examples the child can understand.

Remember, TV can a valuable medium of instruction if used carefully. Through programs about other countries and cultures, scientific discoveries and inventions, nature and the universe, TV allows us to view different aspects of the world which we cannot view otherwise. It is up to us to use TV within limits so that children benefits form it instead of getting addicted to it thereby losing their whole-some perspective on life.

The new millennium is witnessing the woman of today crating new dimensions in terms of being fully engaged in multiple rules and deriving fulfillment form each of them. She is learning to be a daughter who takes responsibility for her parents, a wife who creates a home and a family, a mother who nurtures her children to flourish in the modern environment, and a working person fulfilling her career ambitions. She aspires to find significance and meaning for herself in life, accepts the uniqueness of her identity, and is willing to share her space in terms of performing different roles. Simultaneously, along-side all the dreams of togetherness, she searches for individuality and respect.

Today's woman is ready to take up challenges. She explores new avenues, competing with men on their-own-turf without losing her identity and her persona. The women of today are confident and do not need to deny their womanhood to prove a point.

Power cannot be judged by one's gender. It is true that power was once considered a masculine attribute, but in reality, power has no sex. Traditionally, a woman's destiny was perceived to become a wife and a mother. For years, she remained financially dependent on her husband and chose to remain unaware of the world outside her home. But now she has become self reliant which has enhanced her emotional bond with her husband. Women have made their-way through and evolved as individuals in their own right.

The independent career woman is the one who is involved in something that is not solely related to conventional success, home and family, or even her own femininity. She has stability and a substantial nature. Her femininity and sensuality is for herself and not merely to attract potential male lover. The fact that some Nepali women now occupy prominent positions and their rightful place in the corporate world bears witness to their determination, endurance, and courage. Women in management can enjoy lifestyles that do justice to both home and work within flexible corporate structures. Enabling technologies and liberal societal expectations will allow women to climb the rungs of the corporate ladder without necessarily sacrificing their femininity.

The woman of today has travelled a long way and has created a niche for herself both at the home front and at the workplace. She can make new choices with confidence.

By focusing her energy and capability on each and every aspect of her life she can be both business-like and feminine. The new-found strength of women reflects in the fact that her sexual identity is no longer an obstacle in her way of success.

The mentally disabled have Rights too

I started my research on mental health a year ago, and one of the first things I found out was that there were 450 million mentally disabled people in the world. That was a very shocking revelation for me. Despite the large number of people suffering from mental illness and is tragic consequence, i.e. mental disability, the life of mentally disabled persons is vulnerable, neglected and trivialized.

People tend to disregard the connection between mental illness and mental disability. Mental illness (depression, schizophrenia, psychosis, insomnia and dementia) are leading causes of disabilities across the world. However, people ignore mental disability in formal discourse.

Until five years ago, mental disability was not widely acknowledged as a social and human rights issue. The rights of persons with mental disabilities did not figure in global public health, human rights, political or legal debate. Instead, these disabilities were seen only as an individual's medical problem that required treatment.

Recently, concern has focused on the social and human rights of mentally disabled people. There is now global consensus that mental health related problems and mental disability cannot be treated in isolation; and that there is a need for social support, community participation, and wide awareness to reduce the suffering of persons with mental disabilities.

Professor Michael L. Perlin of the New York Law School observes, "Viewing disability (especially the rights issue requires us to recognize the inherent equality of all people, regardless of abilities, disabilities, or differences; and obligates society to remove the attitudinal and physical barriers to equality and inclusion of people with disabilities".

The rights to life, dignity, and liberty is primary in human rights discourse. The UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (CRPD 2006) recognizes that all people have the rights to life, dignity, and liberty. However, for people with a mental illness, deprivation of liberty by forced intervention is prevalent on the grounds of potential danger to themselves and others. This practice seems to suggest that mentally ill people are not human, and that they have no human rights. This unfair justification does not take into account the people who have died or been abandoned or permanently terrified of society by the loss of family and basic human rights.

The Harvard Project on Disability has clearly stated that mentally disabled people encounter severe social prejudice and too often are excluded even from disability rights advocacy. The time to act on mental disability is now. The CRPD, which is recognized as an international law on disability rights, obligates nation states to fulfill the minimum requirements to meet the demands of mentally disabled people. It is the government's duty to educate people and the families of persons with mental disabilities about their basic human rights.

In low-resource countries, human rights violations of the mentally ill and the disabled are daily occurrences. For example, Nepal has failed to recognize the individual, family, and social costs of mental disability. There is no agency to identify and ensure the basic human rights of mentally disabled people. Therefore, they are completely excluded from the state-funded social welfare schemes provided to the physically disabled.

It must be remembered the population of the mentally disabled is double that of the physically disabled. Because of lack of information, stigma, and social barriers, mentally disabled people are discouraged from claiming their rights. Lack of proper information has pushed this section of the population into isolation and a vulnerable situation.

Professor Vikram Patel, the leading figure in the Movement for Global Mental Health (MGMH) which was launched on October, 10, demands explicit policies worldwide regarding the inclusion and human rights of mentally disabled people ensuring that persons with mental disorders and their families are informed of their rights and those policies and regulations are properly implemented.

Patel says that governments should not delay in identifying mentally disabled persons. He has presented a simple method to identify the mentally disabled by using simple rating scales or by simply asking persons affected by a mental disorder if their condition has affected their daily activities.

Daily activities may include work outside or in the home and social interactions with relatives and friends. According to him, the MGMH encourages mentally disabled people worldwide to participate directly in the movement by building networks between people across countries and professional groups.

People living with mental disorders have always faced difficulties in participating in society because of pressure to conform to normal social and legal standards. This pressure has been eased by the CRPD, which accepts the principle of reasonable accommodation and allows the norms to be modified to accommodate people's diversity.

The convention recognizes that people with disabilities, including those living with mental disabilities, have a right to be consulted in the formulation of all policies and laws that affect them. Thus the time has rived to recast psychiatric practices, procedures, and norms in active consultation with the4 users of these services.

Professor Michael Stein, director of the Harvard Project on Disability, insists on the acceptance of the diversity of mental characteristics. Most of all, people with psycho-social variations must be in public and participate in society if society is to overcome its own psycho-social variations suffer a huge amount f stigma and prejudice. Achieving their rightful equality will require great perseverance. The rights of mentally disabled people should be treated equally as the rights of any other social group.

The CRPD requires that the stereotypes of mental health law and policy be revisited because law and policy do not exist in isolation from society. Let's assert that people with mental disabilities have the same rights as everyone else. And let's campaign for strong laws that protect the equal rights of the mentally disabled.

Terrorism in India and Indian Attitude for Nepal

Last month's terrorist attacks in Mumbai, India shocked everyone.

Nearly two hundred innocent men and women lost their precious lives and many more were injured. In anger over Mumbai attacks, while the nation was grieving the loss, Indian media, and politicians, as usual, tirelessly vilified and pointed the finger at Pakistan. Blaming the usual suspect, Pakistan, began even before evidences were gathered and the lone surviving terrorist was interrogated.

Although the notoriety of Pakistan's Intelligence Agency. ISI in providing aid and comfort to Islam fascists that want to inflict harm on India cannot be denied based on its past activities, India should also take responsibility for its own security lapses and failure to address issues that are fuelling the rise of Islamic fundamentalism in the Indian subcontinent. Is it because of India's rigid posture on Kashmir issues or is it due to India's inability to lift the status of millions of Muslims that are at the bottom of the pyramid, to whom, the prosperity of the last two decades has failed to bring about any real changes? What actually is it that is luring young men and women in Indian subcontinent towards radical Islam?

By attacking landmarks in the financial capital of India, Mumbai, jihadist juggernauts wanted to do two thins: expose India's vulnerabilities and slow down India's economic progress. The recent terrorist attacks in Indian subcontinent also signal shift in venue of global terrorism. Lately, South Asia has become a focal point for terrorism directed against the western nations. By targeting westerners in Mumbai, Islamic radicals wanted to send a message about shift in venue for holy jihad. It clearly shows how the trends in terrorism continue to shift from the Middle East to South Asia. With Afghanistan slipping into chaos and Nepal on freefall, jihadists have more than needed space to operate in South Asia. If terrorism is to be wiped out from South Asia, along with Pakistan, India too, has substantial homework to do.

First and foremost, India should work on its definition of "terrorism". For India, groups that are waging armed struggle for the liberation of Kashmir form Pakistani soil are terrorists, and it wants Pakistani government to go after them, but when it comes to India's turn to act, it simply looks the other way. While India blames Pakistan for providing aid and comfort to the anti-Indian elements, India's own record it not as clean as it wants others to believe. It is an open secret about where the Maoists ideologues, who raised arms against the state, and whom Indian government unilaterally branded as terrorists lived for the most part of the decade long insurgency. The Maoists movement that brought Nepal to its knees would not have been succeeded without Indian's generosity. India not only provided the Maoists a safe heaven to operate, but also forced democratic forces to bed with them, whose ugly repercussions are unfolding slowly.

India's soft corner for those that raise arms against Nepali state did not end with its generosity towards the Maoists. It continues to provide safe heaven to armed secessionist groups that want to disintegrate Nepal. How is Pakistan's support to Jihadists that want to free Kashmir different form India's turning blind eyes on groups that have raised arms to seek secession? Armed struggle in Nepal will not survive without Indian benevolence.

What India as a nation should understand is that, it can only progress the way it wants to, when South Asia as a regions is, stable and peaceful.

India cannot win the war against terrorism on its own. If it really wants to win this war, it has to stop the blame game and cooperate with its neighbors.

It cannot and will not remain insulated from the pouring in of negative externalities if its neighbors fall. It should, thus stop providing safe heaven to groups that raise arms against its neighbors. Only then, India will have moral authority to ask Pakistan to go after the groups that carry out anti-Indian activities in Pakistani soil.

If India continues to provide safe heaven to the armed groups that raise arms against Nepal, armed struggle in Nepal will never wane. Bunch of incompetent but ambitious individuals that lack patience and caliber to win the hearts and mind of Nepali people through peaceful democratic means will keep on waging wars in the name of fighting oppression. Looking at honey-moon period of the Maoist government, it becomes evident that rhetoric alone is not enough to bring changes. For change to come, the rulers should have a vision and competence. Is India ready to be held accountable, if the so called revolutionaries, to whom it provides safe heaven, fail to deliver, like the Maoists, and bring about positive changes?

The Maoists in Nepal hand an excellent opportunity bring about changes. There was no need to create rogue institution like Young Communist League (YCL). They had already crated a political spaced for themselves. The defeat of stalwarts of the United Marxist Leninist Party (UML) at the hands of the obscure Maoists figures clearly showed that the UML's grassroots operatives had mass-migrated to the Maoists Party. Instead of trying to capitalize their gains and focusing on providing services to the people, the Maoists remained glued to their red book, which states terror as a method social control.

With the honeymoon period over, the excitement generated by Maoists' revolution has dissipated. With waning of euphoria, Puspa Kamal Dahal finds himself under fire. His next step? If worst comes, steps down and wreck havoc till the next government is over-whelmed. The Nepali politics is sure to get confrontational in days to come. The way things are unfolding, it appears that, we will once again witness a bloody conflict, whereby the very same people who declared the Maoists terrorists will be at the helm of affairs, and the Maoists at offensive. Who gains from this, if this is to really happen? Not Nepali people for sure!

India, when it comes to its own security, aggressively calls for wiping out groups that act against India's national security, but when it is India's turn to reciprocate, its record has been pretty dismal. If nothing, what India can and should learn from the failure of the Maoists government in Nepal is that, there are tons of incompetent and ambitious politicians in Nepal, who are ready to wage war against the state. How do you identify true revolutionaries that can change the face of Nation from phonies, who pose as revolutionaries and wage wars against the state to forward their political agendas? And, will the justification for armed struggle ever get over if a neighbor keeps on rewarding armed insurgencies targeted at its neighbor?

There will always be complaints about injustice caused by the state. No country has ever been fully able to satisfy its citizens. But that cannot simply be the reason for armed struggle. India should force various armed groups that are waging wars against its neighbor to shut down their shops if it really wants Pakistan to go after jihadists that are waging holy war against India.

India cannot win the war against terrorism on its own. If it really eats to win this war, it has to stop the blame game and cooperate with its neighbors.

It is important to have a mature mindset to make marriages last!

Marriages, it is said, are made in haven, but the truth is that they have to be managed on earth. Just as sit is imperative that you have a postgraduate management degree to manage an organization, it is equally important to have a mature mindset and relationship-management skills to make marriages last.

The reason for many a broken marriage is that boys and girls often get married at an early age for wrong reasons. They are not going toward marriage or their partner, but are getting away from their parents. Often they are looking for an indulgent parent in their spouse, and that's where the trouble begins. Such emotional kids need to grow up and learn to be mature so that they can establish an adult-adult relationship in marriage.

A girl and a boy in my neighborhood were high school sweethearts and had begun dating when they were 15. They got married after seven years of being with each other. The boy confessed, during counseling, that after being with his girlfriend for seven years, he married her only because he felt obliged, as he had made a commitment as the age of 15. The truth was that there was a huge mismatch of values and dreams for heir future, and yet he married her out of ' sense of duty'. The marriage began with a 'silent resentment' in the boy, which grew with time, and escalated into everyday conflict and emotional distancing. Obviously, when the boy made a commitment of undying love at the age of 15, he did not have the maturity r clarity to truly know who and what he was committing to.

The phenomenon of plunging headlong into marriage jolts many a brain only after marriage, and makes them to all the thinking that they should have done before marriage, often leading to a break in the relationship.

A marriage can be termed an early marriage if you are marrying with an idea of romance in marriage, and if you live in a utopian world believing that marriage is the panacea to all your problems in your parental home. The disease of living in a make-believe world with unrealistic expectations from marriage can afflict people of any age.

For marriage to last longer, both partners need to be equipped with life-coping skills, both intra-and interpersonal. They need to know the art f constructive communication and problem -solving. They also need to find personal gratification in vitally fulfilling endeavors other than the relationship, so that both can bring value and joy to the relationship. This will also help to strike the right balance between a shared and mutually nurtured space and individual space for both to pursue their journey of personal growth. It is such maturely managed relationships that last longer, and it is such a marriage in which you can truly be declared 'man and wife.

HIV/AIDS is a grave problem for Nepal. Although some 12 thousands cases of HIV are reported so far, National Center for AIDS and STD Control (NCASC) estimates that 70 thousands people have been affected with HIV/AIDS since it was first reported in Nepal in 1988. Reports state that sex workers, migrant workers, their partners and children of the HIV-infected are highly vulnerable to this deadly disease.

How are we to tackle the situation? For many, the answer would be to launch core health programs/projects. But as it is linked with behavioral phenomena, it should be dealt with complex and multidisciplinary approaches. What does it mean we want reduced HIV infection rate? Obviously it means we wish people started having safe sex. We wish young guys at least used sterilized needles while taking drugs. We wish they adopted healthy behavior. Indeed, it suggests that reduction in HIV infection rate is possible only when people change their behavior. Hence communication that helps to bring about such change is more important than providing infected people with only medicines or health support.

Behavioral Change Communication (BCC) programs motivate people either to change unhealthy behavior or to continue healthy behavior. With the adoption of various communication methods and tools, BCC programs make people aware about HIV issues, modes, and causes of infection, preventive and curative approach. They impart skills and explain the advantages of adopting healthy behavior. These programs help to shift social norms, refute myth, correct misunderstandings and prompt individual and community to change their behavior. Also, they make policy recommendations on HIV/AIDS to increase the demand and supply of health services, reinforcing healthy knowledge, skill, attitude, and behavior.

With the boom in media market in Nepal, behavioral change communication program will be cost-effective and efficient. Mass media channels such as radio, television, national newspapers can be used to disseminate information to a large mass. The success of BCC programs overseas including in Ethiopia suggests that we focus on radio and television drama serial with themes of love and betrayal, suspense and romance, and suffering and triumph. Local radio station would be very helpful to disseminate information within a particular area in a local language. Billboard, bus advertising, and internet are also helpful. In addition, community outreach programs, rallies, talk programs, folk drama, debate and school-level competition on HIV/AIDS-related themes can encourage widespread support throughout the community.

However, BCC programs should be supplemented with adequate service facilities. If services are limited or of poor quality, it will be impossible to achieve the target or to bring long-term changes in complex health behaviors.

Twenty-seven years have passed since the first case of HIV-Aids was detected in the World. During this limited time-period, HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus) has been able to make its presence felt everywhere. Hence, AIDS (Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome) caused by HIV has been a major threat to human beings, making nearly fifty million people live with this disease all over the world today. Though thousands of organizations are working against this disease and spending billions of dollars, the number of people suffering form AIDS is not coming down.

Despite the fact that AIDS is a sexually transmitted disease, sexual contact is not the only mode of its transmission. It may be transmitted by sharing IV (intravenous) needles, blood transfusion, accidental needle-prick in health-workers, or from pregnant mother to her fetus. One of the most common social stigmas regarding AIDS is transmitted only by sexual contact and anybody suffering from AIDS must have been engaged in sexual relationship with anther characterless person of opposite sex. This is not always true and hence there are also many innocent victims of AIDS.

Sadly, many people contract HIV-AIDS from their near and dear ones without knowing that they have been infected with AIDS. Newborns infected with AIDS transmitted from their respective HIV- infected mothers form the main bulk of the innocent victims. Similarly, transmission from spouse, accidental transmission to health workers via needle-prick while treating AIDS patients and children who have acquired this infection through sexual abuse by their parents also belong to this category. Furthermore, transmission of HIV through blood and blood related products is also responsible for the increasing number of innocent victims.

There are different ways though which you can help decrease the number of innocent victims. First of all, protect yourself from AIDS by keeping monogamous relationship with your faithful partner or by using condoms otherwise, and not sharing needles with anyone. Similarly, if you suspect that you have been engaged in any activity that may transmit HIV to you, please go to a hospital and get your HIV status checked before you transmit partner. Likewise, every pregnant mother should get her HIV-status checked to protest her baby from the attack of dreadful disease.

In the end, if you turn out to be HIV positive after blood test, start ART (Anti Retroviral Therapy) as soon as possible, which is freely distributed through different centers. The government and NGOs should implement sufficient programs to rehabilitate these innocent victims as most of them are found to have already lost their guardians because of the same disease. Last but not the least, all of us must provide support, love and care to such innocent victims.

In search of peace

The quest for tranquility isn't something alien to human beings. Even when we follow various mythological, scientific, and archeological references, it becomes quite evident that people have been yearning for peace since the beginning of time. More than once, it has come to our notice that ancient people often used to reside in the forests, Himalayas or other peaceful locales in order to meditate, free and far from all the worldly hassles and take a step towards attainment of the ultimate spiritual bliss.

Well, times have changed and so has the populace. We, the modern people don't have to take the trouble of giving up everything else in life to achieve the supreme spiritual harmony.

Books, magazines, television shows, and websites apprising about different meditation Gurus and their ways and ideas on the art of meditating are gaining popularity all over the world. There are many meditation centers that are located outside the frenzied metropolises, generally amidst the lush green forests, min the lap of majestic mountains or even in some secluded corner. Some urbane people regularly drop in on these sanctuaries for a few days to wind up and get recharged for another lengthy stretch of time full of hectic daily timetables and aggravations. Here, in return for some money, they aspire to achieve the much wanted reconciliation of body and soul which although momentary, still contributes heartily in maintaining their sanity and giving them strength to move on. Others usually follow their favorite meditation techniques at home and with to acquire the same sort of physical and mental nourishment, refreshment, and wellbeing.

Frankly, we ourselves, as well as the ambiance in which we live and are brought up, are fairly responsible for what we make of ourselves and that happens with us. And if we give it a thought, we do realize that at the end of the day, mall the peace and serenity that we so badly desire for, is actually along with us all the time. All we have to do is sit quietly and concentrate calmly for awhile in to get the feel of it. We frantically go on searching for it like along lost, hopeless, and ever eluding dream and yet, here it is; right inside, waiting for us to make that one special autonomous call.

It must be fathomed that the first step toward illumination of mind and spirit is a thorough understanding and persuasion of correctness in terms of speech and action. What is right isn't always easy and trendy. But the foremost notion that should be hitting us whenever we think of acquiring joy for ourselves is whether we are able to grant it to others or not. Because it's absolutely true that whatever we deal out usually rotates and comes back to us in one way or the other.

Finally, let there be peace 'within' us before any of it makes its way 'around' us.

Have you ever repented for the amount of cash you just spent on shopping? Sure, you must have, because the shopkeeper-more popularly called the Sahujis are so cunning that they fix the price of the goods in accordance with the kind of customers visiting the shop.

It has been rightly said that a person should spend in right proportion to his earnings. In case of Nepal, however, the average earning is pathetically low compared to other countries in South Asia. In places where poverty is acute, many people survive on Chyura (beaten rice) and water for days. No doubt, Nepal features prominently at the bottom of the list of countries with a low Human Development Index record.

Together with the low earnings, it is the shopkeepers in the market places that are not fair. Nepali customers are often cheated in small and big shops alike. If a customer is passionate about a particular item in a shop, the shopkeeper sets a price randomly which is undoubtedly much higher than the real cost. And this too in a spellbinding way which leaves customer with less or no space to scan through other options. So shopping is done 80 percent in shop-keepers' terms. Customer rights are stabbed in the process.

Now let's talk of bargain which is a popular phenomenon that customers (mainly ladies) can't forsake during shopping. Bargaining has become a weapon to fight against the fake price of a product of relatively low quality. But the reasonable price is not always low enough to bring happiness to people after they return from shopping. Once the customers reach home and calculate the amount they've spent, they end up pulling hair with both their hands in desperation.

Are shopkeepers the only culprits? Well shopkeepers get goods from various dealers and dealers from factories. The root of the high costs of products is quite untraceable. All he can do is get them at affordable cost. If we keep aside the price and focus on the products' quality, the cost-effectiveness of the product is outweighed by the compromised quality. Ultimately, it's the customers who suffer from lowly products and uninvited health hazards.

We don't go to shops with an intention to fight with the guardians of the goodies. We go there to first carefully scan through items and decide the purchase as per our wish and not under the scrutiny and' black-magic' influence of the shop-holders. Customers want the good companies to produce products of their own standards. The faith in them and little less cost can curb a lot of depression observed in the innocent customers who once used to have happy time while shopping.

So, shopkeepers, be careful about how you treat customers the next time they visit you.

It has been common for people to overlook the efforts made by small job holders. Who actually notices the efforts of a street sweeper who cleans amidst piles of infected garbage so that it is feasible for us to walk on it? It is usually seen that people doing such jobs are being harassed by passers-by either verbally or physically. Once I saw a person verbally abusing a street cleaner because the poor guy had touched his bike by mistake. Similarly, street vendors are also victims of harassment form passers-by or even their customers.

The perception about people doing low profile jobs should change. It doesn't matter what job a person does, what really matters is the significance that the job brings about to people individually as well as the benefits to the society. At least they are working so as to stand on their feet instead of being idle. Anyone who works for a living must have the right to a dignified life. Hence, all kinds of jobs must be respected regardless of their nature. Typically, we see that garbage collectors, sweepers, and street vendors aren't looked upon with respect. They are being neglected because of the type of job they do. The way we look at such people is not morally correct. We are the ones who utilize their services and if we can't appreciate their work then we have no right to criticize or harass them either.

In the west, all jobs are treated equally and no one points his fingers at less skilled blue collar workers. No one has time to think about what others do and jobs are compensated well for their effort. However, it is just the opposite in this part of the world. For most people the discernment is that menial jobs are only done by poor people and even talking to them would be an insult. This is an absolute misconception. Just think of what would happen if everyone were educated and holding while collar jobs at office? Who would wash all the dishes or clean the street.

The streets would have been a dumping site and our kitchens would be a mess if it weren't for the people doing it. So why overlook the efforts of people who make significant differences in our life? Whether it is a gardener who mows the lawns and waters the trees for us to enjoy the beauty of our garden or a maid who washes the dishes and cleans the house, all have vital role to play in our lives. So as a token a appreciation, it would be appreciate to value their work.

I wonder how many of us have actually noticed that Kathmandu city has a system of using traffic lights for pedestrians as well. I don't doubt the number of affirmative responses I would get from pedestrians; there will be plenty. What I doubt is that less than half of them actually follow the rules. While the busy areas around the city have been provided with traffic lights, people still find it relevant to engage themselves in the traditionally right-left-right system of crossing roads.

The other day I was in front of Singha Durbar waiting for the traffic lights to change from red to green for the pedestrians. A bunch of people in front of me ignored the lights and crossed the road. I assumed they had something really important; for they couldn't wait for a couple of seconds more for the lights to change. I was surprised to see them on the other side of the road, walking leisurely. The haste they made held no meaning and the breaking of rules no purpose. When it comes to waiting for a friend or even watching a movie, an hour or so wasted is absolutely meaningless. But when it comes to waiting for the traffic signs to change, even a thirty second's wait is an absolute waste of time for them.

Kathmandu city does not have a lot of facilities. There are places without footpath or there are drivers who very will consider footpath as some form of grand road. But them there are more facilities here than any other part of the country. We can not deny the fact that the Capital is supposed to have some of the most concerned citizens of the country. If it were out of experience or knowledge that this ignorance was exhibited, then I would find it absolutely unimportant to interrupt, for I know we need change. But this activity deserves more condemnation than consideration. The traffic lights are there to make easy access to either side of the road without the threat of accidents. It is therefore absolutely necessary to follow the rules.

We have a tendency of looking at the darker side. We hope to see strict rules at places where there are none. But when it comes to places that are provided well with those rules, we clearly underestimate the purpose. The overhead bridge system is another rule widely ignored. The chaotic traffic system these days should inspire people to follow rules. The safety of people is the sole purpose of these rules. When these lights are out of order, I agree, we have to take our own steps. But when they're working, there is no excuse to not following them. For those people who regard following these lights as a waste of their time, I'd like them to know that there's no time better spent than that for your own safety.

How often do you carry your own heavy cloth bag for shopping so that you don't have to cloth those unfriendly plastic or paper bags back home? No, never, I guess. Many of us are not ready to indulge ourselves into such lifestyle, are we?

For instance, last Sunday I was accompanying my friend for shopping at the Kathmandu Mall. She bought a pair of shoes and a leather strap from two different shops inside the mall. She made me hold on two paper bags each provided by the shops to put these tiny items. I insisted her to avoid those non-degradable bags and instead put items inside my bag which I generally carry. These petty items could have fitted easily inside her flamboyant hand bag too but she took no notice of my concern. I know, even if I made her to shun away the use of plastic bags this time, she don't heed my advice next time, and it is an irony.

Another case: yesterday I was at the Department of Hydrology to get some information for my news report. I had to wait for about two hours as the officials I wanted to meet were out for lunch. And during the waiting hours while moving to and from a long the corridor, fans in all room were switched on, although no one was there. These scenarios are just paradigms in our life and we are used to it, however, they need to be changed.

It is already learned that climate change and the battle against global warming have a great impact on the lives of the ordinary people. Despite such a global problem, we are reluctant to act towards reducing green house gas emission significantly. However, by embracing simple green habits in our daily life, we can create a positive impact on the environment. It is not only for our planet's concern that we should embrace green habits, such habits influence other people as well towards greener approaches.

Becoming a part of green family means making little change in our lifestyles as well as our shopping habits. It doesn't require drastic change to switch very to an environment friendly mode. Simple things such as putting the lights off when they are not in use can contribute significantly towards sustaining the green environment. Also, a slight shift in our shopping habits towards the greener end of the spectrum can be considered a step in the right direction.

I am neither a fervent tree-hugging green individual nor desperate over going totally green. I am only trying to embrace some simple green habits in my life. Environment initiatives will need to be complemented by the joint commitment and efforts of individuals. I am trying to be one. Lastly, if many people chose to adapt greener habits, the effect would be global.

Best Friend - I know when I mention these two words, the first thing that comes to everyone's mind is a person, who is very close to the heart. But here I am not talking about a human being. I am talking about an object that has not only replaced humans from our fast paced life but also totally underestimated the values of interpersonal rendezvous as well.

The other day I was strolling down the streets of Central Kathmandu when I noticed something unusual. No, no it was not a UFO. Had I seen a UFO, I wouldn't be here pondering upon how a simple gadget like a cell phone has twisted and turned the meaning of "best friend".

Even without considering Kathmandu-ites' standard of living, I can guess that at least 7 out of 10 people can afford a cell phone, and I believe they have it too. My argument is that the cell phone has so effectively juxtaposed the necessity of meets -and-dates that it can be called the 'best friend'. Can you counter-debate that? I mean a gadget that tags along very 24-7 and proves to be the 'best'. Don't you think your cell phone is your best friend? I would want to call it my best friend.

I did not come to this conclusion without any observation. Let me cite an example from a simple set of a cell phone. What options can you get? You can make a call, you can store your information, you can play games, you can send mails, and you can take pictures- the list goes on. With every series coming up with better options, the choices and technology also advances. So if a person is along waiting for his friend rant, the first thing he will do is take out his cell and starts calling the person but he is so conscious to be alone and when he has this fantastic gadget in his hand, he just uses it. Think about it, it's like a tentacle growing out of the head. As though the cell phone is the part of the body, as through it was the fingernail or something - when you are alone and nothing to do; you just start biting your nail. Isn't it? If only there is enough money to fill the charges of the facilities you use, cell phone is - without a doubt- the best friend one can have.

This is just a simple example. Tic-tic-tic on the cell phone goes on the streets, click-click-click goes on the bus, beep-beep-beep goes by the restaurant, tu-du-tu-du goes by the waiting lounges. Hey, I am not complaining! My ears and eyes notice them because all these sounds are being generated in my hand as well. Why not I proudly proclaim that the cell phone is my "best friend"? After all, the whole point is - how life hand changed in the fast lane, how we becomes so dependent on such a small electronic gadget and how efficiently this small thing proves what it claims on its own advertisement "Connecting People".

It is the time most of the students in Nepal have started new college life. Those who passed S.L.C have joined +2 and those who came out will join graduation few months later. Having seen many college-goers smoking at the streets in the capital, I feel pity for those newcomers who are the potential candidates to be hooked on smoking. The only line I get to remember is the slogan "Tobacco-free youth" of the 'World No-Tobacco Day' this year, celebrated three months back.

Youth is the most powerful stage and the most vulnerable too. People usually get addicted to tobacco during their youth and childhood. As the tobacco industry intensifies its efforts to hook new young and potentially lifelong tobacco users, the health of a significant percent-age of the world's youth is seriously threatened by their deadly products. Hence, WHO has targeted the youth to make them tobacco-free.

Tobacco is the leading preventable cause of death in the world. According to a WHO report, tobacco is the only legal product that kills one third to one half of those who use it as intended by its manufacturers, with its victims dying on average fifteen years prematurely. Tobacco has tremendous adverse consequences to our health. Lung cancer, the number one killer cancer all over the world, is the most common cancer associated with smoking. Cancers of other various organs; atherosclerosis (stiffening of blood vessels); respiratory problems like chronic bronchitis are some of the diseases directly caused by smoking. You can hardly find any organ-system that remains unaffected by tobacco use. Children exposed to passive smoking have increased chance of suffering from asthma and other respiratory infections. Moreover, a child may learn smoking habit by seeing his/her parents smoking.

So, the youth must understand that they should never think to start smoking, as it induces addiction due to presence of nicotine. And those who have already started must stop at the earliest. It has been concluded that smoking cessation for fifteen years reduces the overall risk of dying almost to the level for non-smokers.

No smoking zones should be clearly mentioned and everyone who violates the law should be punished. Personalities who are considered as role models such actors, doctors, teachers and leaders should not smoke publicity. Government should allocate sufficient funds to awareness programs. And last but not the least, everybody must think at the individual level. The time has come to make not only ourselves but also our home, our society and our country tobacco-free.

Every mother would love to mollycoddle her little girl in a safe cocoon from which she can view the world with rose-tinted glasses, much like Alice in wonderland. She is ready for the lie in the world outside her house where her daughter will not be the fulcrum of everyone's existence. After all, life will deal her some hard knocks.

She is acquainted with the precious ideals of freedom and human dignity. As she grows, she should understand how difficult it has been for women to create a private space of their own - a name for themselves in a society which has only now given a mother-legal guardianship of her children. Despite an assurance of security, she has got to face problems. Life may throw at her way. A good mother will encourage her daughter to stand on her own feet, from the very first hesitant step she takes.

She wants that her daughter must go through the same rites of passage she did, when she carried her daughter in her womb for nine months. Her daughter has learnt to love her with all her short comings and, now she must pass the legacy on. Though being a mother is an elevating and fulfilling experience, it takes care to explain what goes into motherhood. It would be prudent to acquaint her with ground realities about monumental duty she has undertaken. She will have to brace herself for that difficult road ahead, knowing well that there are not fixed formulas in life, and no shortcuts to motherhood.

Introducing her to the pitfalls of motherhood will make her realize how difficult it is to raise children, and she will value you more. She will empathize when you share the knowledge that the guilt she feels about taking the right decision concerning her children is something that plagued you too. It will do her good to comprehend that wisdom comes with understanding and experience gathered as one ages.

All through the years she has looked up to you for support, comport and inspiration. You have wiped away every tear, cleaned, and nursed each wound she has borne till now. Now you will have to stand back and let her take her own fight into adult-hood. Let her move away from your shadow and your caring hearth to make her own life. It may be the best advice you could give her.

Yet, even as you bring her through these essential truths of live, you will realize that everything you tell her will achieve its own fruition and significance with time. You may not be able to tell her every truth and tale in words, but you can, through deeds and example, set up something for her to emulate. Let her know that every other truth in life is transitory except the eternal truth that we must all strive to the good human beings. If you can inculcate that value in her then you have truly fulfilled your duty as a mother.

It is high time we raised our voice not only for the rights of a daughter but also for her duties. A daughter, who has enjoyed equal status as a son, should get the right to take responsibility for ther parents. Most daughters who are willing to take the responsibility find themselves helpless in the face of social and family disapproval.

Sometimes, a daughter shrugs off the old and infirm parents as not concern of hers, as she is married and belongs to another family. However, the same daughter will not hesitate to claim her share of her parents' property when the time comes!

The law has given her the right to claim a share in the family property even when she is married into another family. Why then should society hold her back when she wants to share the responsibility of looking after the needs of her aged parents? The rights and duties of a daughter must go hand in hand.

Every society evolves with the changing times. Social norms those were acceptable in the past no longer hold good today. Gone are the days of joint families and large households. Especially in urban areas, small nuclear families form a large portion of our society. In these small families, the old people do not find an acceptable place.

Advanced medical facilities along with health-consciousness have increased the life expectancy of middle-class Nepalese. As result, we have a growing population of senior citizens today.

And a sizeable number of these senior citizens have not only worked hard for the society but have also done a great service to the nation by maintaining small families. Those who have brought up only daughters and married them off, often lead a lonely and neglected existence, since daughters do not feel responsible for their well being.

Mrs. Acharya has brought up two daughters and both of them are doctors' married into well to -do families. Today, the Acharyas' are struggling with various ailments and are fully dependent on the servants. No doubt, they feel abandoned by their children, yet they do not complain.

"After all, we cannot expect our daughters to take care of us. Our society does not expect it from the daughter," they argue and resign themselves to their fate.

There are thousand of senior citizens in our country who feel abandoned, yet helpless in the face of outdated social customs according to which they cannot depend upon their daughter in the time of their need. The changing social scenario demands a change in our social thinking.

A daughter should have no hesitation in visiting her parents when they need her. Both sons and daughters should share the responsibility of looking after the old parents amicably.

Till now, we have fought for the right of our daughters. Now let us join hands and raise our voice together to give her a chance to perform her duties with dignity.

Astrology has taken a huge turn in terms of the modern tools used by practicing pundits to forecast people's future. Just a few years back people had to leave their "cheena" (traditional birth certificate including details of birth date, year time etc) to astrologers. After a couple of days we had to pick up our "cheena" with predictions of our future and recommendations made by the astrologer. It's always been a topic of controversy as to how position of the planets determines personality and human events. I've always found it exigent to relate celestial bodies revolving in space to it's affects on humans.

Nowadays the process is relatively simple. A modern astrologer is equipped with computer which spells out one's future after crunching in a person's information. Within minutes an astrologer comes up with our predicated future. There is a certain fee for this service. The predication is usually about the likelihood of marriage, chances of getting settled in a foreign country, academic achievement etc. There are even TV programs in which people call and the astrologer on the other end comes up with their forecasted future with the help of the latest laptop as well as his experience.

Astrology is deeply rooted in our tradition. From determining a couple's compatibility for marriage to building a new house as well as most of the tradition we follow is directly related with it. Astrology has had a profound influence on world culture over the past few thousand years on every part of the globe. Our country has not remained untouched by its effects.

Astrologers have not been able to present scientifically defined mechanism by which celestial objects can supposedly influence terrestrial affairs. This, nonetheless, does not seem to bother the followers of astrology. They do not need any evidence to believe in it as it is already a part of their culture. This culture has so much of impact that even those who are skeptical about astrology take a glimpse of their horoscope every morning that can predict their day.

The celestial objects above may or may not have relation with humans but it is not prudent to completely rely on it. Even though an astrologer may say that we won't be successful in academics, business or marriage there is no need to be serious. If astrologers can predict future so accurately then why don't they forecast their own future? If everything they uttered were right I would ask them to pick a stock investment that yields most profit and the lottery ticket that will hit the jackpot.

Call it tradition or superstition or superstition, astrology has affected every one of us but let's believe it only to the extent where it does not harms us.

A crime of passion is an action committed without any benefit to the ego. The term means that the passion is of such a magnitude that every other consideration apart from its fulfillment is disregarded. "Crimes of passion" are bon in the emotional core of men and women pushed to do the unthinkable. They are pushed to the edge of sanity. The criteria that characterize usual criminal acts such as financial gain or reward in cash or kind are totally absent in this case.

These crimes are direct responses to what the perpetrator think is an unbearable betrayal that has destroyed his or her life beyond repair.

Psychologist David and Gene Lester in Crime of Passion-murder and murderer, argue that most murderers, not only those that are involved in a crime of passion, "are not motivated by any long-range plans or conscious desire." Most commonly, they kill during some trivial quarrel, or their acts are triggered my some apparently unimportant incident, while deep and unconscious emotional needs are their basic motivation. Most murders occur on sudden impulse or in the heat of passion, in situations where the killer's emotions overcome his ability to reason.

This argument stands open to debate in the Nepali situation where most 'crimes of passion' are committed with calculated premeditation, as exemplified in the illustration quoted above. However, the fact that the media and its consumers continue to be fascinated by crimes of passion remains a universal truth. During the trial of O.J. Simpson, millions of people sat glued to their television sets, watching a slow-speed chase-a white Bronco moving sedately down the freeway as though it were the Grand Prix.

But the history of this malicious fascination with people being punished for their crimes of passion dates back to a cold November morning in 1849 when a crowd of over 3000 people stayed up all night waiting to see Marie and Frederick Manning hanged at Horsemongers's Lane Gaol for the murder of Marie's lover. Today, a Nepali TV channel runs its own special Programme called Deewanapan, meaning 'madness' which captures and analyses the savagery that unfulfilled love can lead to crimes.

The transformation of love to brutality is the theme of the Programme. The show unfolds the mystery of the demented souls as they get obsessed with love and commit heinous crime that border or cross the limits of sanity. It is not for nothing, therefore, that crime-of-passion-centered programs find solid sponsorship or television news channels though they are based party on fact and more on their entertainment value.

Psychologists say, "From childhood, some children get everything they wish for. They turn violent when and if refused. "In extreme situations, this could lead to disruption in marriage and relationships, homicide and even suicide. External factor like violence in the movie showing fatal attraction could influence young minds and lead to crimes of passion.

When a Six year old girl Sonu threw tantrums and stubbornly refused to go to school van, her extremely busy working parents attributed it to a desire for attention as well as a long, pleasant car drive to school. That was till her mother found nail marks on her daughter's fair soft things while giving her a bath on day.

She got the shock of her life when little daughter Sonu, between sobs, told her school van regularly pinched her things and even her private parts.

"Imagine my shock, when I came to know that the caring conductor, a middle-aged married man with two children, was actually a pedophile!" Sujata says. "When the school authorities refused to take action against the conductor, I took my daughter out of that school, now, she goes to a less-known school, very near my house.

I've become paranoid about my daughter's safety now and keep a close watch on her.

But I still haven't got over the shock of discovering that the reputed, expensive school where my daughter first went chose to ignore my complaint and dismissed the whole thing as a figment of my daughter's imagination, she says.

The TV report of the tragic death of a six-month-old baby in Kathmandu, during a rape attempt by an unrepentant pedophile sometime ago, still haunts my memory. What makes it doubly unfortunate is the fact that the rapist had got away with the rape and murder due to legal loopholes.

Though there is an increasing awareness of child abuse now, thanks to media report and the observation of 19 November as World Day for the Prevention of Child Abuse, pedophile the root cause of child abuse is not new. The book Lolita (from which the term, "Lolita complex", for obsessive sexual attraction for pre-pubescent girls, is derived) centers around a pedophile's sexual attraction to his stepdaughter.

In Nepal, poverty is the main reason of child abuse. According to a research on trafficking in women and children in Nepal, a report prepared by the National Human Rights Commission and Maiti Nepal, a NGO, trafficking in young girls and children for prostitution has grown alarmingly over the years in Nepal due to poverty. According to the report, girls are sold and resold at a very cheap price depending on various factors. Feminization of poverty has blurred the line between what is right and what is wrong, even for the women involved.

In the majority of trafficking cases, the girls are trafficked by known person, parents, relatives, lovers, and husbands. The report finds that more than 75 percent of the trafficked women and children have direct links with traffickers.

Child abuse is a crime that cuts across social, economic and geographies boundaries and all children, both girls and boys, are vulnerable to it. Nepal attracts pedophile s from all over the world. Children growing up in a poverty- stricken environment, where people will do anything to survive, fall easy prey to these Nepali and foreign pedophiles.

The last time I went home. I encountered a shocking scene in my area. My friend Ashmita, who had just delivered a baby girl, was milking herself to discard her very first thick yellowish breast milk. Nearby, her mother-in-law feeding a spoonful of honey to the newborn.

"What are you doing? Don't you know your first milk is the best for the newborn? "I asked. She signaled to the other women standing out there. Apparently, she was following their instructions.

I have no idea about how many mothers follow or are forced to follow such wrong advice when it comes to feeding the newborns. But the bottom line is that we all must be aware of such issues.

There are three main aspects of infant feeding: pre-lacteal feeding; breast-feeding and bottle-feeding. Pre-lacteal feeding means feeding a newborn with anything other than mother's milk after birth. There are different practices in various cultures among which feeding honey, sugar, and holy water to the newborn are very common. We must stop this practice at once. Newborns may acquire infection via such food.

The thick, yellowish milk from the mother, that is medically called 'colostrums,' is what should be first fed to the newborn as their very first food. In many cultures, this milk is discarded considering it unholy or witch's milk. This argument is completely baseless. Colostrums contains high amount of proteins and immunoglobulin required to boost up the immune system (protective) of the baby.

Exclusive breast-feeding must be followed for the first 6 months, which refers to feeding the child only with mother's milk and nothing more, not even a single drop of water without the doctor's prescription. Breast milk is the complete food for a baby up to 6 months. It contains all the required nutrients in appropriate proportion as per the need of child. It is hygienic, fresh, and easily available too. A child is breast-fed 10-12 times a day as per demand. It is beneficial for the mother as well for she can lose the extra pounds gained during pregnancy and decreases the chance of being obese.

After 6 months, breast milk is not sufficient for the infant. So you have to add supplementary foods like cow/buffalo milk, semisolid foods like 'Litto' made of various pulses and grains, vegetable soup etc. But it is useful to continue breastfeeding till the baby is 2 year old. And bottle-feeding should never be done because bottles are difficult to be make bacteria free. Using bowl and spoon is a better idea.

Once again, let us follow the three principles: no pre-lacteal feeding; exclusive breast-feeding for the first 6 months; and no bottle-feeding to reduce chances of infection.

It's delicious, it's convenient, - It's the readymade food. It seems like many years ago when people solely depended on homemade food to fill their tummies. That was not only because they were taken to be hygienic and nutritious but also because they were affordable and easily accessible.

But now, the whole picture has changed radically. The modish fast-food restaurants crowded with all sorts of people and the goodies in shiny wrappers with the foodies doting over them are enough to prove that the tradition of home produced foodstuff has taken a back seat.

Change is an inevitable rule of the world. There was a time when adults and children alike used to carry huge lunch boxes to their respective schools or offices. The housewives back then seldom had their individual jobs and careers. Consequently, they had ample time and energy to cook several meals daily. Besides, there were only a handful of places that offered fresh food in a homely atmosphere at reasonable prices. Moreover, the majority, being rather conservative, did not really believe in eating out, as far as possible. The junk food and the fast food were hardly advertised or bought.

Lo! What a change has taken place in the past few years! Ready mal culture imported from the West has become a way of living in our country too.

Nowadays, everybody is so busy with their breakneck schedules and the gung-ho lifestyle that cooking at home has either become a plain formality or a favorite hobby.

Even the usual cookery shows and columns with their stylish set-ups and extortionate kitchen-wares and ingredients have often been limited to being a form of entertainment.

With an exception of those who have got themselves into commercial cooking, the open-minded, career-oriented general people of today who seek for a quick and efficient services at sound costs have found a terrific solution to their usual daily hassles of cooking-the takeaway food ! May it be special occasions or simple days; the cult of carry-away food has definitely made itself popular!

The twists in the tale are the unwanted health problems that often pop their interfering heads into this otherwise lovely picture!

Painless and likable though the readymade food items might appear to be; their high calorie contents and carbohydrate levels along with the artificial favors can cause obesity and stomach problems. Most junk foods have fixed manufactured dates and expiry dates. Hence, there is no question of freshness because certain preservatives are used in them to make them consumable for many months ahead. They don't contain the nutritious value like that of veggies, milk, meat, fish, fruits, and eggs.

Regular and disproportionate use of readymade food is unadvisable for all those who crave for good health. Presently, unhealthy eating habits are one of the chief causes of increasing health disorders.

Lastly, let's understand that prevention is better than cure. We eat to live; we don't live to eat. So let's dine healthily and breathe heartily.

I must have had stars in my eyes when I told a friend about the honesty of this postal official.

But, he brought me down to the ground. "Don't generalize our government officials. You know nothing about them. Look at the delays, waste, and incompetence. Do you have any idea about the way they defraud the poor? Obviously, you know nothing about all this".

Good things do happen in life. We close our eyes to them too often. There are a large number of people who carry everlasting grudges against others and against life. They make themselves depressed. They feel that life is an intolerable lumber and that people are just a throng of evil-doers. When they comment on people, they often condemn them.

Everything and everyone is tainted black. This attitude is self-perpetuating. It ought to be checked and replaced by a more liberal, pen, and appreciative one.

An authentic expression of appreciation not only delights the person concerned, but also deepens our sense of joy. It is cynicism about others which causes grudges and grievances. If we cultivate the art of appreciation, we enhance our own worth and that of others. Showing appreciation means telling people that you acknowledge their contribution to your happiness. If you take everybody for granted, you are saying, "I do not care!"

We all tend to do that. The hearts we love most, we fail to gladden because we lack the words that lend warmth to relationships. We think being appreciative is weakness, a sin or a crime. We are living in an age of distrust, disbelief, discouragement, and "refusal to praise".

Talk about the wonderful surgery performed by a young doctor and the retort is" What about those who trade in kidneys and administering of AIDS-infected blood to patients?

Something has gone seriously wrong in Nepal. We have sunk into bitterness. It is a sign of national foul temper and poor psychological and spiritual health.

Imperfections are everywhere. That does not mean that goodness has vanished. We have the right to compliment it without glancing furtively over our shoulders to make sure that we are not being taken in.

We deserve disapproval on scores of point. But praise, where it is deserved, is better. Appreciation given when due, helps climb up the ladder. The negative approach pulls the ladder down.

Every time I pay a visit to my friend house, she complains to me about her body weight which has been increasing to reach 82 kg now. She got frustrated with her weight not going down even after following Baba Ramdev's yoga prescription. She is not aware of how she turned out to be so fat while the women her age are walking down the streets with slim-trimmed body. However, when I asked her about her food habit, she could not hide her craze for junk foods like chocolates, soft drinks, and chips. This incident made me write something to make people aware of junk foods.

Junk food is a term referring to food that is perceived to be unhealthy from nutritional point of view. Though it is easy to produce, store, and consume junk food, it contributes very little to make our diet balanced one. Junk food typically contains high levels of saturated fat, salt, sugar and food additives such as monosodium glutamate (used to flavors noodles) as a food coloring derived from coal tar. Too much saturated fat in junk food will cause people to put on weight and get fat or obese. Being obese is a risk factor for heart diseases, diabetes etc. Junk food often has too much salt which is already present in our daily foods. Excess salt is also unhealthy for the hart due to high blood pressure. Similarly, too much sugar makes people fat, rots the teeth, worsens the condition of blood, and may cause other diseases.

On the other hand junk food lacks in vitamins, proteins and roughage (fibers) which are very essential components to make balanced diet and are vulnerable to be deficient in our normal diet too. Hence, junk food supplies the things that we don't need and does not supply the things we need the most as supplement. In spite of having so many disadvantages, junk food is still so appealing. There are mainly three factors behind this-time, taste, and television. Junk food is so widely used because of its simplicity and easy availability. If time is one factor, taste is another one. Junk food is made tasty by adding food additives and spices, so it can lead to junk food addiction which is very dangerous. Finally, instead of making people aware of the disadvantages of junk food, it is advertised freely and in a very tempting way though television which leads to it's over consumption.

So, you must change your good habit if you want to be healthy. Choose fresh fruits and roasted legumes rather than soft drinks and noodles. Prefer steamed food items to fried ones. Consume foods rich in fibers instead of purely refined foods. Come on! Eat lots of fresh and healthy foods most of the time and choose to eat junk food only sometimes.

AVOIDING BOREDOM

Marriages are cyclical - they go through good and bad phase, but good marriages are like piece of elastic, where a couple goes apart only to return after a point of being stretched to the maximum. Being bored with your marriage might just be an indication that you need to refresh yourself and invest more in yourself.

Once you have gone past the honeymoon stage, you have to start investing time and energy in the marriage; you have to re-nourish and rediscover each other.

People who get divorced because they claim they were bored are symptomatic for the new malaise afflicting the generation now: Instant constant gratification. The need to constantly feel the rush of the first phase of romance and infatuation - the difficulty in making the transition from the euphoric high of the initial phases of romance to the rather secure stage of a relationship where you are ready to start a family or bring up a family. The security that comes from knowing that the day-to-day business of living is being taken care of is what could, sadly, cause boredom. Therefore, it is up to you to bring in some pizzazz in your life.

Once the commitment is made, and the thrill of the chase is dispensed with, couples start taking each other for granted. Men withdraw emotionally and women, for whom the sexual is connected with the emotional, withdraw sexually.

If you observe happy marriage or those which have lasted through decades, you will notice that communication is the key ingredient in successful marriages. If the thought of sitting down and talking with your spouse is alien to you, start small.

The lack of communication is cited as the number one problem is most marriage surveys. We rarely take the time out to talk to our spouses, and when we do, our conversation centers around the business of the marriage-the kid's education, the bill to be paid, the chores to be done, the groceries to be picked up; that's where boredom sets in.

Perhaps the most imperative factor to make any marriage better is to acknowledge your partner unconditionally, rather like a dog, who loves his master no matter what the master might be up to. Unconditional acceptance of your partner warts and all - will make you look at your partner in a new light. If your partner is secure in the fact that you will accept him no matter what, this would take your relationship to an all-new level of intimacy. Not meeting a set of standards, or slacking off occasionally wouldn't be cause for stress. How often have you heard the maxim that the couple who laughs together stays together?

Another golden rule for a successful marriage is to make each other the tip priority and let no one come in between.

Eventually, if you are a boring person, you should be in a boring marriage. It's how you choose to see yourself that can make your marriage exhilarating or not.

Drunk Democracy and India's Imperialism

Bhutan's democratic transition is a collective political approach to overshadow demand for a real political change. The draft constitution rubberstamped by India a gradually inviting lots of criticism from Western democratic institutions. Rather than enriching the draft constitution with true spirits of democratic elements, India has been cherishing the act of diehard Bhutanese elitists. Bhutan, I believe, is rather isolating itself from clubs of democracies which may eventually invite national crisis. The voices of 20 percent of the total population, who have been rendered homeless by the regime, still remain overshadowed. Refugee is an issue which Bhutan needs to address. India had geographical compulsion to intervene peacefully and it should never ignore the refugee issue. Water shouldn't have been a priority of interest as much of the gas in Myanmar.

Ironically, during Indian Foreign Minister's last visit to West Bengal on June 29, he denied having spoken of India's role to resolve the Bhutanese refugee issue - a proof enough alienating from the Bhutan refugee issue. Instead, he said that the issue must be resolved by Bhutan and Nepal.

India's consistent refusal to engage itself as mediator in tripartite talks explicitly shows its diminishing role in South Asia. India has already burnt its finger with its infamous foreign policy (IPKF) in Sri Lanka and Bangladesh. India has highhandedness even in imperialist hegemonic character of British tradition won't be acceptable in modern era in the region where annexation is a bygone phenomenon. States and people in the regions are sovereign; not stats within Indian union!

So far as India's stance on Bhutanese refugee is concerned, it utters the same rhetoric as that of Bhutan demographic imbalance. See the recent uncalled for remarks made by the same foreign minister during long march" Bhutanese of Nepali ethnicity has created demographic imbalance. "Why has be failed to understand that a state has to accommodate a homogenous character of all ethnic groups? Even today, none of the ethnic groups have vied for power. It is preemptive fear of the Bhutanese ruling elites to sow such communal discord. Where on earth is a law that a national surpassing the number of other ethnic group is virtually a non-citizen? India itself is a country with multi-ethnic, multi-culture, caste, and creed.

Bhutan unleashed a policy of apartheid against its innocent citizens. One must know that apartheid is a weird dictatorship of minority aimed at social and economic exploitation. It is designed to strengthen the privileged position of the ruling elites. Like some of the African states, Bhutan too forced school children to learn the language of the oppressor, but not their own.

If we are to believe India's foreign minister's portrayed demographic statement, then comes a question: Who is ruling Bhutan? Again, it is the king and his handpicked ministers. The present ministers are yesteryears minister. Yesterday, they were there without any parties. Today, they are there with formal party. As the saying goes, it is like old wing in a new battle. Where are the principles of democracy- opposition? The fruit of democracy can be best enjoyed when there is strong opposition. In fact, we as oppositions are forced to flee the country.

The situation in Bhutan is no better than that of Zimbabwe. Doesn't Lhotshampa (Bhopalis or Bhutanese of Nepali ethnicity) reverberate in king's mind when he used his exclusive prerogatives while nominating five members in the National Council? This has vindicated thru racial attitude of the Bhutan king.

To the refuges, the king is using dubious methods to terminate Lhotshampas (Gorkha/Nepali ethnicity) - once considered the worlds most dedicated and decorated army from the so-called Royal Bhutan Army and Royal Bhutan Police.

Bhutan has been creating historical blunder. Bhutan was already small and has been cut short form 46,000sq km to 37,000sq km. Such an uncompromising compromise, which has been the issue of national sovereignty, has been made without people's approval. Stages belong to the people. But the king indicated as if he and his associates are the owners of Bhutan. In fact, Bhutan has been exposing to danger per se.

Bhutan's win-win diplomacy to both gigantic China in the north and mighty India in the South; squeezing itself by compromising Northern territory to China and providing unconditional access o India to exploit water and mineral resources is raising many eyebrows. Is this blind diplomacy a need to get favor to the ruling elites to thwart democratic demand?

This issue is being debated amongst educated lost in Bhutan. When the entire conspiracy is unveiled, that will be the beginning of an end to present the legitimate right of the people to govern themselves can never be suppressed. It is just a matter of time.

The Bhutanese refugees are caught in discord. On the one hand, Bhutan is constantly downplaying refugees' claim for repatriation and citizenship. On the other hand, Nepal is still unsure what diplomacy is to be pursued! The refugees must explore alternate strategies in the changing political scenario.

India has shown shifting attitude towards the Tibetan and Burmese refugees as well. I have met some of the exile ministers of Burma-pro democracy gearing up to oppose India's growing military ties with the Burmese junta. India has recently made an agreement to train Burmese Air force (Thamdawley) at Indian Naval Service at Garida in Kuch. Also India has agreed to provide Islander aircraft; despite the UK original manufacturer opposed the deal. The Indian government has supplied 105mm field guns, T-55 tanks, and rocket and rifle grenade launchers with ammunition last year.

If we analyze properly, India has a dim record of supporting democracy and human rights in the region. I don't see reasons why the stats in the region support India for permanent seat in the Security Council. Growing military power should not be criterion for any state to claim a regional or global power. It makes no sense to vie for global or regional power without setting its own house (neighbors) right.

The international security must rest on a mutual commitment to joint survival rather than on a threat of mutual destruction. In this context, apropos US Secretary for State Condoleezza Rice for her statement that India vis-à-vis Non Alignment Movement (NAM) has lost its meaning. True! We see India's growing alliances with the West on economic, military, and nuclear fronts.

Bhutanese Human rights and democratic activists must stop lobbying for India's intervention once and for all. I am reminded of my veteran rights activist friend from India when he said, "It is useless to draw India's intervention. The Indian government does not represent even its own people's aspirations abroad. Its foreign policy is inter-twined with imperialist consideration". Thus, the Bhutanese leaders must build up confidence for final reconciliation with Bhutan with support of other international communities. Leaders must coordinate with the Bhutanese Diaspora being resettled in different parts of the world. The opportunity for resettlement must be best capitalized for long-term democratic change in Bhutan. Prudent Bhutan must come forward for talks, or this may inexorably result in the whole thing ending in a fearfully violent and bloody conflict in the long run.

Kathmandu in yesteryears was venerated as heaven on earth. It was the abode of ascetic 'Nemuni', a place chosen by the holy among the holiest for his residence. This is why temples and monasteries are common at every nook and cranny of our localities. The original inhabitants were the Newar, innocent, spiritual, and honest. Earn by the sweat was their motto in life and delighting in public entertainment like Gai Jatra and Kumari Jatra was their way of life. The people were simple and plain, the ambience peaceful and calm, so it was a serene valley in all respects. The resources were unlimited and the want of people was limited, so life was easier. Those days are long gone. Sorry to say but this city is increasingly becoming like Dominique Lapierre's "City of Joy".

Kasthamandap was her original name but with passage of time she was distorted to Kathmandu. Worst came to worst, she was further degenerated to Kupamandup. Kupa means a well and a Mandup means frogs. This well is now so dry; the mandup are crocking water, water, water. But water has become a mirage. Having turned Bangmati, Bishnumati and their tributaries into gutter, we are turning to Melamchi for a smooth supply of potable water but bringing Melamchi water to Kathmandu has become as painstaking as it was for Bhagirath to bring Bhaghirathi down to earth.

Water shortage is not the only problem we are facing. Unavailability of basic goods is a part of our national life. At the market place there is shortage of groceries, at the gas depot there is no fuel and we have daily load shedding. What we have more than enough is hunger, disease, and sorrow. Short supply of essential commodities is a common problem in many parts of the world but we are suffering from no supply at all.

The influx of people from four corners of the country is responsible for the dismal condition of Kathmandu. Migration has crated a gap between villages and cities, making villages under-populated and cities over-populated. An utter lack of planning and organization has turned this city into a squalor city and its residents have been reduced to robots: stiff, unemotional and uncaring. We are living beings but inert to all sense of life. We have no soul, no aspiration, and no destination.

Kathmandu is conferred a big title, "Metropolitan City", but this metropolis is devoid of all requisites of a metropolitan. Poor sanitation system has turned the ambience of this city to dirty, untidy and smelly. The sewer that is used to drain out human wastage begs proper care. This city is now standing on the largest pile of garbage ever to be found in a metropolis. The carcasses of pests are littered in the street. The wastage of stray dogs and cows are spreading foul smell and are a source of epidemic.

The value of life is miserably neglected. People are increasingly becoming uncivil. Smoking inside public buses and urinating in public place is a common scene. The jeremiad does not end here. Our streets are as risky as death traps, common ground for dog fights. Any pedestrian who happens to be around one of the many agitating mob is easily stoned. The narrow streets overcrowded and polluted by three wheelers, cars, bikes and heavy vehicles are causing danger to public health.

The rain water clogging in pits in our roads give a source to reckless driver to splash the pedestrians and enjoy "Holi" in any season. Our congested streets are shared by cattle and crowd. There are buyers and sellers busy bargaining and there are vehicles rushing away ignoring the warning "better late than never". Two wheelers in their bid to get way from the many traffic jams do not hesitate to drive on the footpath. There is no sense of speed limit. Some drive as if they are in a grand prix. That is why crossing from one side of a road to other is a hazardous task. There are sky walks but we seldom use them and the most amusing scene is watching drivers talking in their mobile phones with their other hand on the steering.

Ah, what has become of my beautiful and beloved Kathmandu?

On must understand that life is neither a bed nor roses nor is it full of thorns.

It is a mixture of both and it depends upon the individual to make life a bed of roses or thorns.

Leading a happy married life is an art. It is the art of compromising. If a man wanted a beautiful actress as his wife, his wife might have longed for a handsome, hunk. In real life, we don't always get what we want. However one can become a more compatible life partner through mutual trust and understanding.

Once you accept a person as your life partner, make sure that you start your conjugal life by genuinely loving him/her. You must not only go for the good qualities in the person but also acknowledge his or her shortcomings. Love means loving a person as a whole and not a part of him.

You must praise the good qualities in him and bring the shortcomings to his/her notice in a subtle way.

Everyone makes mistakes, so there is no point in losing one's cool over petty issues.

Normally, we do not notice a plus point in our spouse, but we are quick to highlighting his/her shortcomings.

Frank Pittman says, "People like other people, who make them feel good about themselves."

Never try to prove that you are more intelligent or smarter than your spouse. If your spouse is lacking in something, it is your duty to bring him/her up to your level.

Marital love is all about caring for each other, sharing love, affection, and kindness.

One must have an eye for the need of one's partner. Married life is not a one-way traffic. The marriage can not only need two wheels, it is synchronizing movement too. Pitman say, "There is no way to win against your spouse, you both win or both lost." Men and women have different needs. The top items in the men's list are sexual fulfillment, recreational companionship, admiration, and domestic support. Those for women are affection, conversation, honesty openness, financial support, and family commitment.

Do not imagine that your spouse will be ideal. Any fool can love a beautiful/handsome spouse, but he is perfect who loves his/her partner in spite of a lot of shortcomings. Most of us search for a dark spot in a white sheet, instead of looking at the entire white sheet itself.

So do not keep searching for shortcomings, as all of us have them in plenty. Look for virtues, which will make you as well your spouse happy. Do not keep on fighting over trivial issues. A successful marriage is not the one in which there are not fights, but one, in which fights are turned into opportunities for greater honestly and understanding.

Child Abuse refers to any offensive contact on a child's body for the sexual gratification of an older and more powerful person. Very often, the abuser moves closely with the family of the child, wins the trust of the child's parents and then the affection of the child. This abuser can be anyone - a family friend, driver, neighbor, uncle, cousin, or even a parent. In short, child abuse is the abuse of a relationship.

Many factors contribute to an abusive environment - busy working parents, the shifting from joint family to a nuclear family, ignorance of child abuse, silence due to guilt, family honor, poverty, child marriages, etc. No doubt, our lifestyle has changed quite dramatically and irreversibly due to the shifting from joint families to nuclear ones and the present working culture. When both parents work to improve their quality of life, the children are neglected at least to some extent when it is a nuclear family.

Parents should communicate effectively with their children on sex issues to prevent sexual abuse. Giving children information about abuse at a young age need not be frightening, provided that the information is tailored to suit the understanding of the child. A child should be taught of differentiate between a "good" touch and a "bad" touch. Remember: young children often fall prey to sexual abuse due to their ignorance.

Sometimes, parents refuse to believe their children; especially if the offender is an elderly" respectable" family member or friend. In such case, they either ignore the child or even accuse her of having a fertile imagination. This compels the victim to keep quiet. When the elders turn their faces away from the problem and silence their children, they not only fail in their duty to protect their innocent children but also become accomplices in the crime.

Child abuse is a gross violation of human right as it prevents a child from blossoming into a normal, healthy adult. It often traumatizes the child leaving long-lasting emotional and psychological scars. Fortunately, there is now an increasing awareness about this crime and professionals in Nepal recognize the importance of developing effective strategies to counter child abuse.

Apart from suitably amending the laws and establishing special courts, creating awareness among children by giving them information about sexual abuse, helping them to brake their silence when abused, and teaching them to protect and safeguard themselves, will go a long way in protecting our children.

Remember: every time we turn our faces away and pretend that the problem does not exist, when we silence abused children, blame them for their own victimization, or dismiss incidents as figments of their imagination, we are conspiring with the abuser and becoming accomplices in this most disgraceful crime against our children.

Children are the treasure of our nation. Let us resolve to protect them from this terrible crime. As Marian Edelman has rightly pointed out, "If we don't stand up for our children, then we don't stand for much"

Failure & Success

Life's path is strewn with umpteen obstacles and uncertainties. But one who has a firm wills, patient heart and passion for the goal will see it through, no matter how dark the cloud may seem.

Thomas, A. Edison did not give up the first 2,999 times he tried to make a bulb light. If he had, we might not have electric lights today. He never said. "This will never work! He rather said," I haven't quite got it right yet."

"It is not life that maters, it's the courage that you bring to it." With this cryptic sentence Hugh Walpole's novel, Fortitude, begins. And it is true. For, what is life without courage? All the great and miraculous feats and achievements we look at today with awe, praise and wonder, have come from courageous hearts and determined minds.

We may fall but we don't have to lie there. Failures are not a problem. The problem is not acknowledging a learning curve and the opportunity to grow that each failure carries along with it. Japanese industrialist Soichiro Honda said, "Many people dream of success. To me success can only be achieved through repeated failure and introspection. In fact, success represents the one per cent of our work, which results from 99 per cent that is called 'failure."

Our desire is like a thin, feeble stream of water, which is tuned aside or blocked by very small obstacle. But a rushing torrent simply sweeps away rock and trees and carves out its own path. Similarly, fierce desire and strong determination will make its own way and discover a path to success. The man destined for success makes time.

Live by making use of every minute.

The ignorant one seeks happiness and satisfaction in the distance whereas the wise person grows it under his feet. This is the one who rises above setback and creates the success story, which we reminisce upon later often to motivate our fellow strugglers. Lives of great people and heroes vividly proclaim that many times a strong, earnest, and enduring soul has swayed destiny to achieve what was dreamt of.

Wishing doesn't make things happen. Everybody desires to bask in the sunshine of glory and success but only a handful are willing to shun the comfort of life. Many of them feel that they deserve victory before fighting a battle. They are those who wear wishbone where their backbone ought to be. One failure takes them down towards laziness and stagnation. But great minds rise above setbacks and each failure turns into a stepping stone to success.

Obviously, success isn't the absence of failure. It is having the determination to never quit because" quitter never wins and winner never quits". As someone said, "low aim, not failure, is a crime."

If we are fired by heroic determination and a strong will to strive, nothing can stop us from attaining what we dream that we will.

Alternate medicine includes ayurved, acupressure, magnet therapy, aroma therapy, but in our country alternate medicine includes Ramdev yog, dhami-jhakri and treatment by quacks. After trying all the possible "alternate" medicines patients come to the doctor to seek help.

There was and still is this craze for Ramdev Maharaj's yog. It is different from the conventional yoga; it's a mix of yoga, acupressure, and spirituality. He has made something which many doctors are unable to do - getting people to do exercises daily. He has made something which many doctors are unable to do - getting people to do exercise daily. He claims to cure diabetes, hypertension, gallstones, paralysis, and a whole lot of other diseases. Patients are tired of going to the hospital for these reasons regularly, so they are more attracted to Ramdev's yoga.

But does it actually help in curing? Many people have experienced it, but i fit actually cures impossible diseases how come he himself has facial palsy! What is yoga? It is just exercise. In our busy day-to-day life, it's unmanageable to get time out to exercise. The Ramdev craze has encouraged couch potatoes to exercises while watching television.

How does it cure? Many of the nwo common dieseases are caused due to our sedentary, stressful, competitive life. By yoga we take time out to relax and excercise all the muscles and joints of our body, as ancient yoga is one of the most effective forms of exercise.

Ramdev yog does have its share of side effects. There is a type of pranayam called Kapalhati which some ardent fans practice in every situation. For example, if Kalpalbhati is practiced a day after an operation, they come back with what we call an incision hernia. So it depends on when and how your practice yoga.

Another competition doctors have to face is from "Dhami Jhakri", a form a 'healing ' which has no scientific basis. Neither research has been done on the practice nor has it been proved successful. But the belief in them is so immense in our part of the world that nothing can convince the believers that the practice is harmful and at times fatal to the patients.

If patients feel they have had similar symptoms in the past and were cured by a particular drug, they take the same drug again and again during what they believe' as an attack by similar symptoms' without consulting a practitioner. None can be sure whether the symptom is the same as what was experienced in the past. There are many diseases with similar symptoms like acute appendicitis and ureteric colic or a more severe heart attack and acute gastritis.

The over the counter drugs are mostly prescribed by the patients themselves or by the pharmacists. When a drug is to be prescribed a whole lot of investigations and examinations have to be done, which are considered not necessary by the patients to save money and time.

Life is very precious and once lost cannot be regained. So it would be wise if more careful attention was paid to save it instead of placing it in the hands of quacks.

Very few persons have the courage to enter a death trap. And someone who volunteers to rescue a child from the bottom of a 60 foot deep gorge is certainly made of different stuff. A number of people have fallen into the canyon of the Seti River and been killed. A few have been pulled out. The death trap claims several lives every year. On Wednesday, a two-and-half-year-old girl fell into the gorge. Teams of local, policemen, army personnel and five rescuers from the Nepal Canoeing Association from Kathmandu made unsuccessful attempts to liberate the child. They could not go deeper than 30 feet into the crack as it was so narrow. Time was running out. Finally, a 12-year-old boy offered to bring out the toddler from the ravine where she had lain trapped for 22 hours.

Kamal Nepal was not daunted by the task he had chosen to do. No boy his age dared to descend into the dark pit to rescue the child. Kamal Nepal, who hails from a poor Dalit family, has demonstrated incredible valor by putting his life on the line. He obviously deserver rewards and appreciation. Shishu Niketan School from Pokhara has rightly promised to provide him free education up to the secondary level. Similarly, Xavier International College from Kathmandu has announced it will give him free education, boarding and lodging after he completes high school. Kamal has become a public hero overnight. But questions remain. Should such a 12 year old boy have been sent in to rescue the child? Who would have rescued the toddler had this Dalit boy not stepped forward? How do human rights organizations react to the rescue operation? Obviously, such questions do arise as the terrifying gorge described by Kamal is a real death trap. He said there was hardly any space to move his body and head below 30 feet.

However, one pertinent question remains unanswered: Why did the local authorities not fence the area to prevent such accidents? Putting up notices and a fence around the hole would perhaps have prevented the child from falling in. Pokhara Municipality could have encircled the area with barbed wire and warned tourists and local people to keep clear. Kamal took the risk to rescue the child only at the behest of his brother. Now several organizations have given him gifts of money for his bravery. The boy must have been forced to put his life in jeopardy out of sheer poverty. A few years ago, his father had sold his land to clear a debt. The cash awards that the boy, a first grader, has received should be spent on his schooling. Providing him free education and showering him with words of praise and rewards will not help him build his career. He deserves support for his education and his family, besides prizes and recognition.

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My ideal holiday will be the one when I wash the clothes early in the morning and he irons and folds them neatly, I bathe our children and he dresses them up, he cooks the lunch and I wash the dishes, a movie together during the day or a visit to relative's place, watching news together in the evening and this time I cook the dinner and he does the dishes.

I never expect him to do al the household works alone and go for office just to let me free in the name of equality. What I want is two of us sharing our duties rationally in home, giving time for each other, working in a nice place and possessing good reputation in the society as well.

I won't get angry with him if he cannot control the children and scolds them instead of singing them a lullaby when they cry in my absence. I understand, he is not harsh at all and he didn't mean to hurt them. He is a man, so he is emotionally different than a nurturing mother. If can't carry a gas cylinder, I want him to understand that I am physically different but not weak.

Technologies have developed the concept of transgender but by nature it is women who are capable to hold the pain during labor. Physical difference cannot be changed easily and so are the concepts. We may have the feeling to change the world immediately that has drawn the line between people in the name of sex or gender but it takes some time to erase it from the point of emergence.

At present we are talking about gender equality and the discrimination done against women but if we try to change the situation in haste, it may result in some other form of discrimination done against women but if we try to change the situation in haste, it may result in some other form of discrimination. We want to change the attitude of the society but let us not change the social norms haphazardly. Let's complete with man, be their life partner, and share duties with them. I hope to one wants to be the mistress of a husband doing kitchen chores, feeding the children, and massaging his wife's feet who works in the same office where he works. If anyone thinks that way and want it to be applied, there will be discrimination again, this time against men!

It has been a month since a 14 year-old Indian girl Arushi Talwar and a 45-year-old Nepali domestic helper Hemaraj were murdered in Noida, India. The Indian-UP state police had initially accused Hemraj of murdering Arushi and even sent a police team to Nepal to nab him. However, the following day, they found Hemraj's body on the terrace of Talwar's house. Then the UP police arrested Arushi's father Dr Rajesh Talwar. Yet the UP Police continued to maintain in public that Hemraj was the murderer. Dr Talwar's Assistant Krishna, a Nepali national, has been detained and subjected to a lie detector test. India's Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI), which has been probing the double murder for the past one month, has not been able to identify the killer. India has laws to deal with such murder cases. And every individual - be he a Nepali national or Indian - must respect the law of the land and wait for the CBI's findings. However, Indian media have been unleashing a new wave of terror against Nepali working as domestic helps in Delhi and its satellite towns.

In the eyes of the Indian media, Nepali nationals have become criminals. In 1999 when an Indian Airlines aircraft was hijacked, the media blamed an innocent Nepali national just hours after the incident. They accused a guiltless Nepali of aiding the Kashmiri terrorists before the plane was seized. The double murder in Noida has provided Indian media with fodder to titillate their audiences. They have been spreading suggestions that Nepali nationals have been involved in all sorts of crimes committed in Delhi and adjoining cities. Did the UP state police have enough evidence to blame Hemaraj? Why did it send a police team to Nepal to nab him before searching the house of Arushi Talwar? Why should Indian media air or publish the double murder without any evidence? Is this Indian jingoism or real journalism?

Sensationalizing such a story that directly accuses blameless Nepali nationals of murder may provoke Nepalese into a rampage as happened during the Hrithik Roshan, a popular Bollywood actor, episode. Such stories aired or published by Indian media will damage the relations between the two countries. Besides, Indian journalists have been showing concern over Arushi but not Hemraj. Such chauvinistic journalism which used to be practiced during the British rule will not help the Indian administration. India is an emerging power, but the way its media have been reporting stories accusing poor domestic helps suggests that the Indian media enjoys stoking communal violence. Indian media must shun broadcasting such unauthentic and provocative stories which will damage bilateral relations or crate communal tension. Lt the CBI conduct its investigation and come out with its conclusion.

I just love going to New Road. It's a great place for shopping and for people watching. But I like it mostly because there I get to meet people. I haven't met for a long time. My trip to New Road is never complete until I bump into an old friend.

The last time I went there, I saw a friend from school. It had been around two years since the last time I saw her. I was really happy to see her. We started with a little chat and then I asked her what she was doing. "I'm going to Singapore in about a month", she said. Then she said, "Where (in which country) do you plan to go"?

I was surprised that she assumed that everyone (every youth) has plans to go somewhere (out of this country). She expected me, just like most of her friends, to have plans to go overseas I don't blame her for that. I mean, most youth these days are going outside. No wonder the educational consultancies are doing so good. We just had a few educational fairs concentrating on abroad studies and they were a huge success.

It seems like every youngster in Nepal dreams of going to America or Europe. If they don't get a chance to land in these places, they would at least want to go to India. They seem so keen on getting out of the country. They think it's fashionable to go to foreign countries. I have never really wanted to go abroad and I don't understand the craze some of my friends have for going overseas.

Getting back to my friends question, I replied", I am studying here and I plan to work here. "On hearing my answer she gave me this look amazement. Her facial expression was screaming "But why?" Her look made me question my intentions. Is it stupid of me to want to stay in my country? Am I a fool not to join the bandwagon? I mean people aren't moving out of this country for no reason. Just in these few years, so many people I know have left Nepal in search of better prospects and a better life.

It is nice to know that your friends are chasing their dreams and that they are going to get a nice education. But, when you think of how many educated youths the country is losing, you can't help feeling sad.

I have always believed that if I work hard enough I will have a comfortable life no matter where I choose to live. Everyone has the right to choose their destiny. She chose to move out of here and I chose otherwise. Whether or not any decision to stay in my home country is a good one: only time will tell.

Rights to Education

The report that only two-thirds of Nepali girls join primary school instantly draws our attention. The lower percentage of girl students is a pointer to the way girls are discriminated against when it comes to education. Primary schooling is officially free of charge in public schools. However, due to the preference of parents for boys over girls land lack of quality primary education in school, girls are forced to work at home while their brothers attend classes. Even when girls are enrolled, the burden of domestic chores stands in the way of educational progress resulting in a greater number of dropouts. Such glaring unequal access to education reveals the sorry state of Nepali women who are poor, illiterate and lack independent decision-making skills.

The trend of imparting school education to girls dates back to the time of Rana Prime Minister Dev Shamsher. Despite this early start, the chances of girls getting an education are two and a half times less than that of boys. This can be attributing to a range of factors including a higher workload consisting of household chores, caring for younger siblings and sharing the parents' workload on the farm. More than 60 percent of the girls students enrolled in public schools never complete their primary level. The practice of early marriage, social norms, and values that undermine the importance of educating girls on an equal footing with boys has forced a considerable number of girls to leave school. Most of the schools in rural Nepal are devoid of basic infrastructure required for quality education. They do not have access to even basic things such as desk and benches, a proper toilet and clean water supply. Poor facilities and unsuitable teaching methods dissuade girls from attending school and they feel more comfortable working at home.

After an hour or so, a bike rider stopped beside me. Although he did not know me, I was offered a lift. I instantly refused his offer simply because I did not know him. Also being a girl, I had to think of several consequences.

No matter how much we talk about gender equality, deep-rooted patriarchal social structure compels women to think twice before agreeing to something as simple as accepting a lift from a guy in our society. The guy who offered me the lift may have genuine intentions. Still, how could a girl like me brought up in a conventional household react positively to such an offer?

What if I had accepted that offer? Would I reach home safely? How would my mom react seeing me on a bike of someone I didn't know? What would have happened if the guy assaulted me on the way? Do we have any serious punishment for people involved in physical violence? Would I get justice in that case when there is no law in the country to deal with sexual violence against women? Hundreds of such questions haunted me, leaving me with no option rather than to soak in the rain for another half hour.

Let me make my point more clear. Would the situation be the same if a girl offers lift to a guy in a similar situation? No, it would no. Masculinity, which is regarded superior in our patriarchal society, would boost the confidence of the guy.

The fairer sex, by nature, is caring and supportive. Women, in only rare cases, try to sexually harass or assault males. In my case, it was hard to assume that the guy had good intentions. This is because we live in a society where women are treated as a weaker sex. Out social norms, age-old traditions and the male-centric Hindu culture inspire male to exercise power over women.

In our society, women have been oppressed to such an extent that they do not even have the right to free mobility. We live in a society where working late hours, enjoying night discotheques or simple late night parties are considered morally wrong for women. Character assassination due to such 'so-called' immoral behavior is rampant in our society despite decades of women's movement.

It is high time Nepalese renounced the cultures of treating women differently. Let us usher into a new Nepal where every women can at lest accept the offer of a lift by a person, irrespective of his/her sex.

Healthy Eating

Many of us visit the hospital with complains of an acute stomachache which is diagnosed as APD, better known as "Gastric". When this is explained to the patient, the general response is: Yes, I know I have gastric. Everyone knows he/she has gastric, but no one tries to avoid it.

The cause for "gastric" is wrong eating habits. There is a saying: Have breakfast like a king, lunch like a commoner and dinner like a pauper. It is said that one's breakfast should be akin to that of a king because we are supposed to have it when we wake up in the morning, breaking the fast taken overnight.

Overnight the glucose levels in our body reduce causing the increased secretion of acidic juices of the stomach. When we wakeup in the morning, the juices are acting on our stomach wall. The stomach wall bears the brunt of the acids daily till food fills it in.

The meal pattern in Nepal is first meal at 10-11 am, a snack at 3-4 pm and dinner at 7-8 pm. Breakfast as such comprises only of tea - mostly milk tea. Milk tea causes distention of the stomach and discomfort because when the milk is consumed, it releases gases. Black tea helps in clearing our system by washing the residues and harmful antioxidants from our system. When milk is added to tea, its beneficial effects are altered.

While consuming milk tea, have it with something filling like sandwiches, biscuits, or cornflakes. Those will silent the acid till lunch. Lunch comprises of rice and lentils with greens which is very healthy. The next meal is only a snack by 3-4 pm, which mostly comprises of something like chow-chow (noodles)!! This again wakes the acid monster.

The last meal of the day is dinner, which makes it two heavy meals and a light snack in between. It would be healthier and less damaging to the stomach if the eating habit is altered a little. Have breakfast, lunch, dinner with snack foods in between. Little snacks must be taken every 2 hour the last meal was taken.

Another problem for the stomach is the content of the food. Hot and oily food is our favorite. Why have to much spicy and oily foods that both deteriorates health and aggravate gastric?

Keeping fast also aggravates the process of causing "gastric". Keeping fast is beneficial to the body when kept once a week but while fasting we must take lots of water and other fluids, it helps clear antioxidants from our body. But instead again the very popular milk tea is taken-leading to distention and gas formation.

"Gastric" is not to be ignored. It can lead to a lot of complications - minor one being frequent vomiting may comprise blood, brining sensation of the stomach. On Endoscopy revealing gastritis, leading to ulcer finally the ulcer might give way leasing to perforation.

Why wait till we reach the stage from which coming back is difficult and impossible? Instead, eat health, live healthy, and improve life.

It was Victory Frankl, the great psychotherapist author of the fantastic book, Man's Search for Meaning, who said, "Everything can be taken from a man but... the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way". Frankl knew, from grueling experience, the truth of this statement, for he was one of the million Jews taken into Hitler's notorious concentration camps. A learned therapist who has already written the manuscript describing which becomes his own special contribution to psychotherapy, "logo-therapy". He was brutally stripped of everything, including the manuscript. It was the compelling need to rewrite the manuscript and to unite with his wife that gave Frankl the stamina and determination to live through the unspeakable experiences he underwent. When the chips are down, when all is lost, we can still win if we can retain our equanimity, serenity, and peace of mind. These can not be taken away from us unless we choose to give it away. Actually, "choose" is hardly the right word. Most of us do not have choice in the mater. We are like puppets on a string. Anyone can control us - an angry boss, a dominating mother-in-law, a demanding husband, rebellious kids.

All of them can control our moods and reactions. All of them can dictate the way we lead our lives. Sad, isn't? Ever really thought about it? We struggle so hard for control. We do course on their management and get our efficiency up to scratch. We pride ourselves on being able to handle four tasks at a time. We insure our lives and put by enough for a rainy day. But one day, a teenager son tells that he hates his parents and the bottom falls out of our world.

The whole purpose of human existence is to overcome the suffering that is written into our very genes. As the Buddha pointed out, the fact that the human body is subject to disease, decay and death indicates that there is suffering even in the most fortunate life. Suffering is overcome when we attain the equipoise and detachment that enable us to experience both joy and sorry, wealth and poverty, health and illness with equal ease. It is the acquisition of knowledge that is the purpose of life. We are not here to make money or have family or become famous. We are here to learn this and these other things are only a means to this end. A traffic jam is not a nuisance - it is an opportunity to cultivate patience. A crisis is not a sixer from a malevolent fate; it is an opportunity to make a quantum leap in growth. If you cultivate this attitude, you will always be a winner no matter what. You are free from the vagaries of fate.

Like the Jains say, you are a Jina - a victor of life itself.

My Dear Mother (Ama)

"Mother" is a very familiar word to our tongue. If we are in any trouble or even we get a small wound, the first word we utter is "Mummy!" or "Ama"! This happens because the closet person to our hearts is our very mother. Even a new born child first learns to say "AMA" or "Mum". This is all about mother. No words in the dictionary can actually define mother. She is so great that it is just impossible to describe her in words.

It is said that "God could not be present everywhere in this huge world, that's why he created mother". Mother is a special version of God, thus mother is as respectable as God. She makes a Nile of love and affection flow in the heart of her children. While playing she is a companion, while doing homework she is a teacher, while taking decisions she is an advisor, overall she possesses all the qualities of a best friend. She bears every grief and every sorrow and makes us get rid of our tears. She is always the most important sources of inspiration for us. She is the role model in our life. Finally, we can just way that mother is everything?

A line for my mother is, "You showed me this beautiful world, gave me all privileges, and gave me all the happiness. You taught me to smile in every sorrow. When I was worried, you calmed all my fears, when I was in trouble you did listen to me. Now, I offer my hearty gratitude to you. I love you Mumma or Ama".

Republic at last in Nepal!!

I take joy and pleasure in congratulating all the citizens of Nepal. Turning Nepal into a republic is the biggest achievement of the people in the history of this country. Formally, from May 28, 2008 onward, We Nepalese are no longer subjects of the Shah Dynasty that fooled the innocent people for over 240 years, pretending that the king was a reincarnation of Lord Bishnu. All the kings in the past, without any exception, considered themselves the masters, despite the fact that they survived and led their luxurious lives on the money the people paid in taxes. Instead of improving the economic and social conditions of the people, the monarchy only prompted feudalism, corruption, nepotism, and favoritism. Members of the royal family and their cronies looted the country of its resources, making this one of the poorest in the whole world. So, irrespective of whether or not anyone is a republican, this is a day of joy for all Nepalese. One this joyous occasion, I can not fail to pay tribute to the known and unknown martyrs of the republican cause and of democracy.

The first and foremost credit for the republic goes to none other than the Maoists. Though the Post never agrees with the violent methods the Maoists adopted, it would be unjust not to recognize their role in bringing this day about. The role of Girija Prasad Koirala, Madhav Kumar Nepal and the other political leaders can not be underestimated at this moment. Had not the political parties agreed to the agenda of the Maoists, the latter's violent methods alone would not have been sufficient to achieve the goal. Similarly, civil society leaders, lawyers, human rights activists, journalists, academics, artistes and other members of society who whole heartedly supported the republican agenda also deserve due recognition.

However, there are many hurdles confronting the Federal Democratic Republic of Nepal. The first and foremost issue would be the formation of a government. The amendment of the interim constitution is another issue that needs careful handling by all the parties concerned. Though the Maoist leadership has committed itself innumerable times to respecting pluralism and democracy, it will require a Herculean effort by the other parties to make them practice what they pledge. We have more or less settled the issue of republic but the question of a federal structure is going to bog us down bad. As a commitment has already been made to federalism, we can not escape delineating the country into a number of federated units. However, delineation of the states of the states in the federation in terms of ethnicity alone will ultimately ignite ethnic strife in the country. Let us hope that all the parties pushing for an ethnic federal structure will reconsider their stance before it is too late. Finally, the drafting of the new constitution and its endorsement by the 601 member Constituent Assembly is another challenge. But for now, we can relish the achievement of the republic. If the unity and understanding among Nepalese continue, no challenge ahead will be impossible to tackle. Let us all stay together to build a New Nepal.

Happy Republic Day to all Nepalese who stay in Nepal or abroad!!!

Punish the Culprits who are involve in Violence against Women

Incidents of gender-based violence have raised an alarm bell in the country. Although the constitution guarantees equal rights to men and women, the fairer sex is discriminated against, oppressed, and at times, mercilessly tortured by the male-dominated society. Violence against women has taken a variety of forms; cases of domestic violence against women are more rampant than other forms of violence. The plight of hundreds of Nepali women, who are silently enduring the oppression meted out to them once they are married off, was strongly felt after the case of Sushila Thapa came to light.

A mother of an eight-year son, Thapa was mercilessly beaten to death by her husband and in-laws the other day because she had started working outside of her house. Thapa had eight stitches on her head alone, besides cuts and bruises all over her body. This incident reflects the plight of women in the country who are illiterate, poor and lack independent decision-making skills. The exact number of women suffering from gender-related violence is unknown as most such cases go unreported and unrecorded. However, it is estimated that one-third of the women in Nepal are subjected to one or the other from of violence by their husband's family. It is surprising that most of the women are tortured by in-laws who are literate and come from good family back-grounds. Statistics show that more than 90% of the women in the country do not received any form of education. Besides, our social hierarchy places women subordinate to men, giving them fewer rights in the family, community and society in general Also, women face rampant social discrimination right from birth which in turn affects their socialization process and independent decision-making skills-making them more vulnerable to gender-based violence.

Violence against women in any from is a crime punishable by law. It is unfortunate that despite a steady increase in incidents to gender-based violence, the country has no specific law to punish the perpetrators of such crimes. Therefore, even if the police were to nab the culprits, they are let off due to lack of specific legal provisions. The absence of stringent laws is mainly due to the tendency to regard violence against women as a private matter between individuals, and not a pervasive human rights problem requiring legal intervention. The need of the hour is to study the causes and consequences of domestic violence and frame tougher laws so that the offenders refrain from committing such crimes again. In fact, only laws can ensure every woman's right to a dignified life.

Diversity Values

Nepal a country of diverse culture and traditions is gradually revealing its true identity. Although King Prithivi Narayan Shah did recognize such diversity, no successive kings bothered to respect the basic rights of their people and brought them into the mainstream so that every ethnic group would have had an opportunity to serve the denizens. Besides, the guaranteeing of fundamental rights would have also protected the customs, culture, and language of diverse communities. Unfortunately, a "policy of exclusion" adopted by the successive autocrats denied the people the right to education and pushed them into the vortex of poverty. But thins have changed since the April Movement. The other day members of Constituent Assembly, clad in their traditional dresses, were allowed to take the oath of office in their mother tongue. The traditional dresses and the oath- taking ceremony reflected that the country has finally recognized the diverse culture, customs, and languages spoken across the country.

Nepal, no doubt, is a melting pot of different cultures, traditions, and ethnic groups. For ages, diversity has been its ethos though the Rana oligarchy and Panchayat regime deliberately ignored such indelible values. Each region of the Nepal portrays different customs and culture. In fact, the country is the home to over 92 ethnic communities, who speak 60 different languages, and have a peculiar set of manners, habits, and customs. Is there any country, including India, which is as diverse as Nepal? Unity in diversity is our national character, which will further determine the social, political, and economic course of this country. History shows us that people from different ethnic communities and religions have participated in all the political movements. In our struggle for freedom, people from different communities participated in keeping one thing in mind we all are all Nepalese. Such unity has been our strength for ages. Unity in diversity should help us build a prosperous new Nepal, which will respect press freedom, guarantee human rights, and foster competitive politics.

The religious and cultural origins of Nepal date back to the Shakyamuni era- the remains of which are cherished even today. For centuries, unity in diversity has been the distinct feature of our culture. Nepal still presents a true picture of such a unique diversity but it should safeguard the rights of every citizen- regardless of faiths and beliefs- to maintain peace and harmony. Nepal is one of the most ethnically diverse countries in the world. This is our strength but, at the same time, it could also be a negative virtue if we fail to protect the vulnerable groups and continue with the policy of exclusion practiced by the successive kings and Rana oligarchs. Let us hope this diversity brings prosperity to the country.

Surviving a Family Crisis

Family counselors often say, "A crisis which dawns on a family should be viewed as a testing time. If the family comes out of it in one piece, with their sanity and affections intact, then it means that the foundation, on which the family was built, was strong enough to withstand this pressure."

But if the family cracks up, gets fragmented, breaks away and ends up with scars and sounds which threaten to continue inflicting pain and agony, then the family unit was weak in the first place. It was riddled with insecurities and dysfunctional elements which destroyed its foundations at the first given testing time."

Every crisis comes with its own unique share of complications. No amount of preparedness can ensure that you behave in the desired manner. Keshab Kaka who was a crisis management expert in his company having had experience of trouble shooting with major union related issues was completely at loggerheads in his home when he discovered that his only son was drug addicted. He panicked and took a series of decisions which further exacerbated the problem. Rather than consult an expert or find a way to get the boy a detoxification centre, he forced him into going to Canada to his sister's house, convinced that it was an aberration and that the boy with the change of scene would recover and get back to his old normal self.

But it was not to be. Finally, the son lost a year and came back not just with a deteriorated drug problem but also with a related alcohol problem! The family unit almost cracked up and the solution was nowhere in sight. Being wishy-washy at this point of time was not the best way to deal with the crisis. Panicking often brings out worst in most of us.

Looking at the way lifestyles are shaping up today, the sensible among us try and hone our mental faculties to cope with crises as and when it decides to strike us.

Making provision on the physical place by having an infrastructure in place is part of the story.

The remaining task is to develop the mental strength the emotional sturdiness and the sanity to deal with such situation. This is why meditation, yoga, reiki (a treatment in alternative medicine in which healing energy is channeled from the practitioner to the patient to enhance energy and reduce stress, pain, and fatigue), art-of living, vipasana and other forms of healing therapies are being practiced in such a wide scale by all age groups, not necessarily the old only.

There is no system that eliminates the crisis altogether. Just as ups and downs are an integral part of life, a big earth-shattering crisis, too comes at least once or twice in a person's life.

Those crises which emerge out of negligence or lack of foresight can be done away with, but those which come without any announcement have to be dealt with care, base don the resources at our command at that point in time. Either way, one has to keep ones calm and do the best one can without becoming a wreck or a laughing stock.

Protect History

It is pathetic that no effort has made to protect the historical documents in the place even though only one day remains before the country is declared a republic. This state of affairs raises a serious question: Why has such a sensitive issue been ignored so far? The responsible parties and the government should have thought about this at the very time they decided to transfer the ownership of the king's property. In fact, the myriad things that need to be done along with the declaration of a republic are highly complicated and have a far reaching effect on a wide range of issues. While everyone's eyes are turned towards the possible repercussions of the historic decision, very few of us have taken note of the list of things the government has to do when a monarch is formally asked to check out of the place. Arrangements to keep safe the historical documents that have been stored inside Royal Palace for centuries should have been one of the major priorities.

In love with Words

When I first came into this world and the instant I started to comprehend others, how could I have known that I had befriended what would later become the love of my life? I wan imprudent not to have acknowledged earlier that it would be impossible to live without what has now become an inseparable part of my life. No, it's not any object upon which to pour my affection. It is, in fact the very thing that allows me to articulate my affection to everything around and within me. Yes, it is 'words' the glorious, mighty, beautiful creation of human kind.

Come to think of it, I am not the only person who has realized the significance of words, am I? Just imagine how entirely bizarre our lives would be without words! How would we think or talk or express our feelings to others? To me, it seems awkward when I picture myself wanting to tell my parents about what happened during the day, or even going to a shop to buy an ice cream on a hot summer day, and finding myself unable to think about a single word. That would be funny, wouldn't it?

That was the lighter side of the situation. Now envision an emergency... suppose someone you love dearly was very ill, and you wanted to call an ambulance immediately. It's a mater of life and death. What would you do? How would you tell anyone what you need? Even if you dial the telephone, how would you tell the person at the other end what has happened? Or picture yourself walking down the street and out of nowhere, you see two people with guns aiming at a person fifty meters away form you. What would be your first response? Would you should? How would you alert the target and the people around you about the possible danger they are about to face?

From the very ordinary to the most terrifying moments of our lives, we use words almost mechanically to communicate our feelings with others. From the lowly act of scathing someone to the most moving speeches, from the playful expression of a child to the outbreak of emotions of an adult, from the lighter moments of interaction to the most atrocious misunderstandings among humans, words have been unmistakably vital.

It is because of this omnipresent vitality of words and the unchallengeable nature of this vitality that I cannot help falling in love with words. I have now begun to embrace the might of words. In fact, what would we do without words in this word? Words are a way of life, or more precisely, a way to life. Words are but a way to connect ourselves with the ones we love. Words are how we think, communicate, learn express, and pray. Words are indeed the jewels of life.

Nepalis' woes in India

Banjade worked as a domestic help in a house in Delhi. He was falsely accused, after he went missing, of murdering of 14 year-old girl. His innocence was established only after his dead body was found on the terrace of the house where he worked. Banjade's case points to hate insensitivity of the India's state police forces toward the hundreds of Nepali workers who are the first to be arrested whenever incidents of murder, theft, or rape are reported in any part of India. A mass exodus of Nepalese to India took place after 1996 when the Maoists began their people's war. They fled to India as it was safer. Besides, India's economic book also attracted many Nepalese, but they are bullied and oppressed. Indian police, states are employers have been systematically exploiting a large number of Nepali workers. Indian harassment starts right from the time they reach the checkpoint on the Nepal-India border where they are unnecessarily given a hard time by the security forces with senseless queries regarding their purpose of visit. In the states of Bihar, Assam and Uttar Pradesh, reports concerning the involvement of the state police in looting and extorting money from Nepal nationals have come up time and again.

The condition of Nepali workers in India can be improved only if their rights and safety are strongly addressed by both the Nepali and Indian governments. At present, we either need an entirely new treaty that specially addresses the problems of Nepali in India or a through revamping of the existing pact. If Indian workers are enjoying a dignified life in Nepal, why can't Nepalese do the same? India must make sure that Nepalese are treated on a par with Indians. In addition, Nepalese living in India's Northeast have been victims of the state governments. Many Nepalese who move into the region a century ago have started returning to Nepal due to rampant discrimination. The biased Indian attitude against Nepalese must end so that no Nepali is abused in any part of India. Considering the large number of Nepali and Indian migrant workers who travel back and forth freely across the open border, goodwill should be reciprocal. Otherwise, let dump the treaty and regulate the border.

In whatever more or less time that we ever get to think about books and reading, a rather boring imagery crosses our mind - a speckled someone in a peaceful library, reading a pile of bulky books containing long chapters.

However, some pictures are comparatively brighter. Let's say, there is a cheerful playroom where a few kids are reading some nursery rhymes from bright colorful books in their high, chirpy voices. We don't think much about this matter until and unless we are compelled to.

But the truth is that no other means of entertainment or learning can ever dare to outdo reading. I seriously feel that books are the greatest companions that anyone can ever opt to have. Reading is, in fact, a broad gateway that opens towards a great new world of knowledge, fun, and adventure. Have you ever been on a glorious joy ride? Where will it take you at the most- from one end of the mechanism to the other? But, it can definitely not transport you to the wonderful world of mystical and magical debugs that funk tiny wits awe through their amazing ways.

You will not find yourself suddenly amidst the great royals, historical personalities, and gallant knights. You will never get a chance to peep into the lives of sharp detectives, smart philosophers, and clever scientists and, no kidding, not even a layman. You will never understand the real meaning of the most interesting things in science, art, and literature. You will be unable to analyze the ever-changing world in any way, as in what it was like in the past, what it is like at the present or what it will be like in the future.

The most important thing about reading is developing a genuine love for it.

It really helps a person to develop the ability to play with words efficiently; express one's feeling visibly and makes oneself heard clearly in the enormous world. Books help us to forget all the troubles and hurdles of our routine daily life and fill our minds with all sorts of imaginations and hearts with a warm and consistent glow of pleasure.

Reading, therefore, without a trace of doubt, guarantees knowledge with fun which in itself is a deal of a lifetime, in return for that tiny bit of precious time that we manage to save for it.

Thus, the next time when the lessons seem tedious, sports become tiring and you have had enough of television, computers, shopping and outings, do try and give reading a chance. At first, though it may be a little difficult to make good friends and take up good habits, nevertheless, in the long run, it is these lifetime companions that remain as our greatest treasures. And once we get book-friendly, there is, indeed, no stopping or looking back. So why not build up the habit of reading and make good books our best friends?

Marital Discord

Marriage are often fraught with altercation. After all, when two individuals, usually from totally different background, are thrown together to live in close intimacy, there can not but be situations where there is some discord.

Marital tiffs can do much damage to the relationship. Constant bickering and quarrels can eventually stem all affection between the couple, leading to a cold war, or worse still, a separtion or divorce. This dicord between husband and wife can strain the atmosphere in the house severely and cause grave psychological damage to the children.

When you find yourself disagreeing with your spouse over some matter, remember that the result of your argument should not mean that you should "win" and he should "lose". The ideal end of every quarrel should be "win-win" situation, with both of you feeling that you have made your point and have not been humiliated or disgraced.

This can only happen if you are willing to accept that your spouse is not your foe, who has to be rooted in the fight and made to eat humble pie.

Consider that amity is at stake when arguing and do not try to oust your partner from the ring with some cleaver jabs of your tongue. Do not sling insult at him. Deal with his "action" and not his "person". In short, avoid saying angrily, "You are a lazy slob". Instead say, "Your lazy habit of leaving your clothes lying around on the bed bugs me".

Never resort to character assassinatin in the heat of your anger, for your words will brand his mind for the rest of his life, no matter how many times you apologize for them later on. Calling him a liar and a cheat or a stupid may help you vent your rage. But it will do nothing good for your marraige.

But since we are all humans and may not always let our heads rule our hearts, there will be many occasions in our married life when we are transformed into viragos of rage. Of couse, most of the time, when we come to our senses a short while later, we realize with some shock and ruefulness that we have over-stepped the limit.

The best thing to do is to apologize at once. To be dogmatic in one's decision in this cse will only worsen the situation. A simple, sincere "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say that. I was so furious that these terrible words were uttered" will usually readily be accepted by the wrong spouse if he is sensitive to your feeling.

For many women, the best part of a marital fight is the act of making up sweet promises. Loving apologies are made and love blooms stronger than ever, after the strom has blown over.

All the tears and the accusations are forgotten when the spouses embrace and call a truce. But this comes about only when rancour and viciousness are kept away from the verbal joust.

Believe Yourself

Archimedes, one of the greatest philosophers, once, said"Give me a place to stand, and I will move the Earth. "I sat back and contemplted its meaning, again. I had heard this quote several times before, but I finally found the perspective that could decipher its meaning this time around. I believe, Archimedes subtly meant to say that one should believe and back oneself to succeed in any task s/he performs.

If we study the successful lives of eminent personalities, it is evident that their belief in themselves, that is, confidence sets them apart. If was with his belief that Galileo stood against the nnotion of sun orbiting the earth. It was with her profound confidence that Helen Keller proved the world that physical disability is not curse. These real life examples have always been around us in talks, books or in TV. Yet, how many of us take challenges as opportunities to prove ourselves rather than succumbing to it? I bet only few of us do.

How can we make ourselves more confident? Knowing our own weaknesses and strengths is quite important because over and under-estimating ourselves is the biggest mistake we make. We face many circumstances in live, where decisions can't be make through any particular set of rules or thesis. Knwing our potential is instrumental for us to make spur-of-the-moment decisions.

Thomas Edison, when asked about how he felt of his 2000 failures before he finally invented the fluorescent bulb, simply replied, "I learnt about 2000 ways how I couldn't make a bulb."Look at this for an answer! It doesn't require an Einstein to figure out why Edison succeeded. It is evident that his positive approach to failures and critisms was he reason. Naturally, we feel more confident if people regard us positively, for which we should earn the trust of people regard us positively, for which we should earn the trust of people around us. One can't expect a boastful, arrogant man to be trusted by people. So, optimistic approach has an immense effect in shaping one's confidence. People only believe in the person who believes himself.

However, there is a thin thread that separates ego and confidence. A man of ego believes that he is the only person who is capable of doing aparticular task, but a man of confidence believes that using resources around him and joining forces is the way to do ahead. An egoist feels humiliation and anger if suggestions are given to him/her but a confident person welcomes them and implements in his/her future endeavors. Experience, both success and failure, whether it be yours or others, also helps in building confidence. We should always regard success as positive force and inspire oourselves further wehre as failures should be taken as measures to evaluate oneself and make proorities to ensure further growth.

We must all find our own Archimedean place to that we can influence our society, nation and the world. Believing oneself is the beginning. Remember, a job well begun is half done!

Bringing up a Moral Child

In Moral intelligence: the seven essential virtues that teach kids to do the right things, Dr Michele Borba, an educational consultant says, "the best way to help kids overcome negative pressures and act right in the immoral times is to boost their moral IQ. Parents can teach traits of moral intelligence such as empathy, love, conscience, self-control respect, kindness to their children." Parents today can no longer sit back and assume that their kids will become decent human beings. They will have to take the reins in their own hand to raise moral children.

Raising a moral child is more than correcting misbehavior and encouraging positive action.

Morality includes fostering an inner conviction the habit of doing the right things whether or not anyone else is watching. All you need is strong faith to guide you, strong morals to impart to your children and the strength for your conviction to maintain discipline in your home.

Begin by talking to your children about values, spiritual concepts, but preaching along is meaningless if its content isn't rooted in every day activities. Any parents today attach a great deal of importance to their children getting good grades and having self-esteem, but in reality, a child's character the kind of person he/she is becoming, is much important than just getting good grades. Morality helps a child lead a fulfilling life.

Children learn behavior and values from their environment, mainly from their parents, siblings, relatives, peers, teachers, and increasingly, the media. They learn from watching how other people behave, from observing minutely how their parents deal with difficult and trying situations and form their own experience.

Researches say that parents who have clear moral convictions are more likely to raise good children because they life according to their moral beliefs and prioritize them in their daily life. Sadly, today many parents are wrapped up in their careers and the world and fail to nurture their children's moral intelligence. They feel that providing their children with food, clothing, and shelter is all that they are duty-bound to do.

"Parents are their children's first and most powerful moral teachers, so make sure that the moral behaviors your kids are picking up from you are ones that you want them to copy. Remember, your honesty will teach them to be truthful, your trust in your children will help them to be trustworthy, and your generosity will teach them to care for others. Praying with your children tells them that God is real and that you really trust him," says Richard Eyre in teaching your children values.

Let' Donate Blood

One of my villagers got electric shock and having fallen off a height of five meters, he became unconscious. He was immediately brought to Dhulikhel Hospital where he was diagnosed having Hepatic rupture (rupture of liver) with profuse internal bleeding. He needed immediate blood transfusion but not a single pint of blood was available in Blood Banks throughout the valley. His blood group was not rare, either. Finally, three of his relatives donated one pint each and his immediate resuscitation was done.

This is a typical case of scarcity of blood in our Blood Banks. This guy turned to be lucky enough to get blood donation from his relatives. In fact, believe it or not, many patients have to die only because blood is not available. I discussed this issue with my friends who also have similar experiences. One of them sadly shared an experience of losing his Principal's daughter early due to unavailability of FFP (Fresh Frozen Plasma), a blood component required in the treatment of DEC (Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation).

Unavailability of blood and blood products has severe effects in the management of patients. We have cases of road accidents rising day by day increasing the need of blood. Children suffering from Thalasemia need of blood transfusion at a regular interval throughout their life. They have no alternative of dying if sufficient blood is not transfused. Mothers suffering from post-partum hemorrhage (bleeding after childbirth) need urgent blood transfusion. In addition, patients suffering from bleeding disorders, aplastic anemia and many other disorders need transfusion of special blood products like Platelet concentrate, FFP etc which can be prepared only if large pool of donated blood is available in Blood Banks.

The only solution of this problem is blood donation. Everyone must understand that there is no adverse consequence of blood donation in otherwise healthy individual. Our body is continuously synthesizing and destructing the blood cells. Blood cells once formed are bound to get destroyed after certain days, depending on the type of the cell. So, donating blood literally means taking out some of the blood cells (e.g. 10% for the pint of blood) from our body prior to their scheduled destruction and utilizing these cells to save others' life. One can safely donate one pint of blood every 3-6 months.

So, it is very urgent to organize blood donation camps at any political or apolitical level. I remember my college days in Calcutta Medical College when we say many blood donation camps going on regularly and a large number of people donating blood enthusiastically. We have to organize such blood donation camps and donate blood for ourselves. Nothings can substitute blood for the treatment of the patients. Let's revolutionize the way we think and the way we do. Let's donate blood.

Motherhood - What a Beautiful Word

Every year we go to a great length to celebrate motherhood. But, what happens all through the year is pretty much what has transpired down the ages, with a few modifications necessitated by the changing face of motherhood. Even today, mothers are either deified or devalued or subjected to contemptuous indifference.

However, though traces of the stereotype remain, it must be admitted that motherhood has today evolved to encompass much more than a domestic orbit. In its more dynamic avatar, urban motherhood has, to a noticeable extent, affected the demise of the self-effacing and self-flagellating creature of the kitchen and the nursery, and the birth of a confident entity capable of meeting every challenge the larger areas as throw up.

To achieve this, mothers have had to load-shed, defy the patriarchal construct of the selfless giver, destroys universalized concepts and question orthodox legacies of maternal behavior. One voice reiterating this change is that of mothers going blue in face declaring that they are friends to their children, perhaps to emphasize that they are a far cry from the pedantic, molded-to-order entities their own mothers were compelled to be. While it is a welcome development making the mother-child relationship more egalitarian, I personally feel it limits the scope of motherhood.

Our outreach as mothers is far greater. We are guides, caretakers, breadwinners, and what not. By refusing to stay trapped in the mothering role, we extend our warm maternal qualities to the wider spectrum of art, science and the environment.

But despite the enormous payoffs, there is no mistaking that the grinding drudgery still exists and so also the disillusionment when confronted with the brute realties of child rearing and the price we pay to stay moored. We still have to contend with internal contradictions between the ideal and the realistic, the past and the present. What's more, we insist on biting off more than we can chew, aspire to super-woman status, are reluctant to delegate, obsessed with perfection, and unable to ease the burden of expectations. This is inimical to our interests and we return to the point from where we ventured to empower ourselves.

By echoing other's thoughts and speaking in a voice not our own, we allow ourselves to go to seed, looking for gratification and appreciation in the fact that we are taken for granted. In this, we run the risk of being marginalized later in life and ending up as disappointed and decrepit empty nesters with no individuality. We must guard against this at all costs, because if we obliterate ourselves for the sake of our children, we can never give them the sense of identity they need or be exemplary role models.

There's no martyrdom or merit in uncalled for self-sacrifice. In fact, it takes greater courage to embrace and safeguard our autonomy. This mother's day, let's add the redeeming quality of self-sufficiency and balance to our existing stores of unconditional love. What better gift we can give ourselves and those we live for?

Maoists & their Cadres Terror Campaign Now Unacceptable

It is a sheer violation of the people's verdict. The Maoists can not and should not continue with their terror campaign any longer. When the people have agreed to accept them as the state authority, Maoist cadres cannot take the law into their own hands. In the past, they claimed that the state was not competent enough to protect the people. Now, when they are so close to moving into the seat of power, they have no right to say so. If they still don't believe in the rule of law, there is no point in their joining the government. Earlier, they had the excuse that their cadres came from a violent background, and that it would take some time for them to change. But it's been two years since the Maoists signed the Comprehensive Peace Agreement and expressed their commitment to respect the law of the land. If they cannot change their own cadres, how can the people believe that they will be able to change the country?

Urban Youths of Nepal

The nonchalance of the urban youth in maters of the nation has always baffled me. I have always been astonished by how, being the most fortunate ones in the country, they could remain detached to the needs and woes of the motherland. Given their social, economic, educational background, they are at a unique position from where they can carry out works which others can only envy. Yet, the very first thing they opt for after reaching the adolescence is the visa for America or some other European countries. Their attitude is that the decision to go abroad is natural which doesn't need second thinking and staying back in Nepal is foolish and a waste of time.

Youth and Politics in Nepal

Former US president Franklin D Roosevelt famously said, "We can't always build the future for our youth". Roosevelt was acutely aware of the limitation of any generation to meet future challenges. But Nepali leaders and society in general don't seem to have a high opinion about their youths. Young people are often sidelined as raw and immature when it comes to taking leadership. No other party disregards its youth as much as the Nepali Congress (NC) - the grand old party of Nepal. As the party grows older, it seems to lose its institutional memory. Otherwise, NC should have remembered that it is a party founded by daring youths during the Rana oligarchy. B.P. Koirala, the NC's legendary leader, was barely 36 years old when it brought down the Rana regime. At 44, he had already been elected as the first prime minister.

But in the recent Constituent Assembly (CA) election, only 7 percent of NC candidates were below 40 years of age. This is one measure of how old the party has become. The NC's ageing tells a sad story of lack of internal democracy and accountability. The youths can hardly move up the party hierarchy as oldies don't take responsibility for their failures and bow out from the leadership. The NC, this week, repeated the old tragic drama. Prime Minister G.P. Koirala, 84, rejected the resignation submitted by his cousin and the party's acting president Sushil Koirala, 69, who had resigned "verbally" admitting responsibility for the party's defeat in the CA polls. With all due respect for the sacrifices he has made for the party and his contribution to the democratic movement, Sushil is dull, uninspiring, and incompetent to lead the NC. And in these challenging times, he is even worse suited. If he doesn't quit now, when will he?

Jack Welch, the legendary former CEO of General Electric, has written in his acclaimed book, Winning, "Before you become a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others. "In the NC- and in the UML, for that matter - it's time for those who have been hogging the top position to make way for others. Sher Bahadur Deuba, too, had his turn; and now he has run out of steam. The NC should pass the torch to the new generation and induct fresh blood into the party's rank and file. The party faces a big challenge this week when in finalizes its PR list. Many grandpas are hoping to get into the final PR list and are competing with young icons like Gagan Thapa. Will the NC, once again, sideline Gagan saying he is too young? Just a reminder: B.P. Koirala was exactly Gagan's age when he founded the NC in 1948 by merging the Nepali National Congress and the Nepali Democratic Congress. Gagan is not as charismatic as the late Koirala was, but show us who else commands as much universal appeal as he does in the current NC rank and file.

Missed by Miles - CA Election Note

The Election Commission of Nepal, after days of counting, declared the final results of the CA poll the other day. The Maoists were a clear winner in that they emerged as the largest single party in the unwieldy 600 member Constituent Assembly. This scribe, who foresaw a clear majority for the part, would like to eat the humble pie and say how mistaken it was to predict a majority for the once unlawful party that professes communism but advocates- presumably practices- capitalism.

I erred on the side of the Maoists but the powers that be in Delhi apparently misread the situation in Nepal and missed the target not by a whisker but by miles.

A recent Indian media report said that Delhi that was expecting the Maoists to come out a distant third was red-faced as the results of the CA poll began to come out. According to the report, the Indian intelligence agency, RAW - that is said to have a massive presence in Nepal- goofed up and did not give a correct assessment of the situation. The same report went on to say that the Indian External Ministry's assessment of the Maoist prospects in the poll was not substantially different from that of the RAW. An official of the Indian Foreign Ministry was quoted as saying, "We did not misread Nepal". "But, said the report," the blame game Ministry and RAW blaming each other for the Nepal fiasco.

The CA poll results, though not exactly decisive for the Maoists, must have caused a little embarrassment to India's South Block. This is more so because just prior to the CA polling, India put its full support behind the present prime minister saying that India had "full faith in Prime Minister Koirala" leaving no one in any doubt that it had backed the Nepali Congress.

The Indian National Security Advisor M K Narayanan just before the CA poll, had said, "We have put a great deal of faith and our hopes on Prime Minister Koirala and the Nepali Congress. We are not sure if we can trust the Maoists." But when the tables were turned, India tried to recover from its loss of face. The Maoist chief is said to have been invited to Delhi and Indian Foreign Minister would be coming to Nepal ' as soon as an aid package" -- presumably to appease the new rulers in Nepal - was prepared. The Indian Congress President and widow of former Indian Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi, Sonia Gandhi was reported to have sent a congratulatory message to the Maoist Chief, Madame is perhaps trying to make up for the public loss of face of India's Congress-led UPA government. And also to court the Maoists - who incidentally were never labeled 'terrorists" by Delhi - and may be to ensure that the Maoists in their quest for "new" Nepal do not deviate from the traditional Nepal policy of kowtowing to India.

That there should be so much concern in Delhi over the CA poll results is to be understood in line with the policies followed not only by successive governments in Nepal since 1951 but also by successive kings, prime ministers and leaders of political parties. Any indication that this policy or bowing down to the Delhi Durbar could change would cause more than a few ruffled feathers in Delhi. An Indian television news channel, for instance, hosted a discussion program a few days ago on the outcome of the CA poll but more interestingly focused on the demands by the Maoists tht the 1950 Nepal-India Peace and Friendship Treaty be abrogated and a new 'equal' should be drafted to take its place. The panel in the discussions came to conclusion that if Nepal wanted a revision, so be it but that Nepal should be "prepared to face any unwelcome consequences', pointing out, at the same time, the backbreaking consequences Nepal had to face following the Indian embargo in 1989.

Shayam Sharan, the foreign policy advisor to Indian prime minister Man Mohan Singh, reacting to the Maoist demand, was reported to have said that India was "ready to review" the 1950 treaty. But is this the first time that Delhi has shown its willingness to review the controversial treaty? How many times in the 1990 restoration of democracy has India said this and to what effect?

There are calls in the country, especially by those who see Koirala as a savior, not to hand over power to the Maoists who have emerged as the largest party in the CA. True, the recent election was to elect representatives to the CA whose main task would be to draw up a new constitution in the name of the people of Nepal. But the fact remains that the CA also acts like a legislative assembly in order to enable the governance of the country under democratic norms.

The largest party in the assembly, even if it does not have the requisite majority, should be asked to form or lead the government. Following the ill-advised decision by Koirala in the mid-1990 to go the poll, the UML was able to form a government even if it did not have the majority in parliament. That the calls for clinging on to power should come from those who profess full faith in democracy is more than a bit ironic. But there are also quite a few murmurs in town that the calls for Koirala to stay on top were prompted by Delhi. That may not be as far-fetched as it appears considering how the Indian intelligence and other agencies misread the pre-poll situation in Nepal and thus gave wrong predictions.

This scribe has always maintained that absence of violence on the polling day does not mean free poll. For free poll to take place there must be a free and fair chance for all to put before the people their reason for contesting the poll. When even the leaders and cadres of major political parties were unable to reach the rural areas to conduct heir election campaigns, how could the election be fair? And what other results than the one that the Election Commission formally declared could have been expected? As far as the Maoists are concerned, they would do this country a good service if it is able to close down Indian pension camps and let Nepali banks or other government agencies take up the task of pension distribution. Will they be able do to it?

The election is finally over and there's euphoria in the air particularly after the 'revolutionary' Maoist victory. Reason Even before the new constitution of New Nepal is drafted the Red Vision already out the "Vision 10, 20 40" and so on suggesting that Nepal within a span of just 40 years will be amongst the richest countries in the world - a la Switzerland!!!

The Maoist dream deserves to be applauded in that Nepal continues to remain mired in debilitating poverty shackled by, among scores of other things, bad governance, corruption, instability, deep-rooted social inequalities, new insurgencies and, worst of all, lawlessness and the culture of impunity.

Ground Realities: Even after the historic and "peaceful" election to the Constituent Assembly that had 61 percent voters' turnout, the examples of impunity are everywhere around the country- and for all to see. An example: some 'Janata ' thrashed Current Finance Minister after his election victory in Nuwakot. Let alone pre-and post -election violence, incidents of crime are on the rise as before.

In both urban and rural centers, people are being intimidated, abducted, robbed, and even murdered thanks to political allegiances that perpetrators of such crimes often owe to parties. Against such backdrop and now that the election is over, people's expectations appear to be very high.

High Hopes: Hopes of the ruling class as well as the ruled - or, to put it in Marxist- Maoist terms, the bourgeoisie and the proletariats, the exploiters as well as the exploited are so high that the election will guarantee political stability; that it will restore lasting peace; that it will bring in investments, development and relief to the needy and that it will usher Nepal into a new era of caste- and region-based federalism and even right to self determination.

The list can be longer. But what's clear is that the newly elected CA has a Herculean task a accomplish, failing which the "empowered" people will surprise the world the same way they did on April 10; that is, if they are allowed to vote again as promised by the SPAM (six party alliance plus Maoist).

As things stand now, the first parliamentary election will be held after two-and -a-half years.

Hurdles: For now, the Maoists have emerged victorious. The former rebel leaders say they want to immediately declare Nepal republic, thereby throwing the 240-year-old institution of monarchy into the dustbin of history; lead the new transitional government and carve the destiny of the nation by writing the country's first 'truly people's constitution.

While that mission is sure to take a lot of time, probably more than expected, there are immediate existential challenges the new government must overcome. In order to survive in power, the new government must deliver and make sure that there's smooth supply of everything from petroleum fuel and gas to basic commodities such as cereals and vegetables.

And all that stuff as subsidized and affordable price.

Without any failure, the new helmsman must also make sure that the petroleum prices are not hiked as per the international market price ($107 per barrel and rising). Voters or consumers will also expect uninterrupted supply of electricity; end to frequent highway blocks; and a peaceful environment for tourism and several other indigenous industries to flourish.

Monarchy: At the first meeting of CA itself and quite interestingly without any voting whatsoever the new Maoist-led CA will bid farewell to monarchy, if top Maoist leaders' version is anything to go by. The leaders also claim that several foreign powers too have favored some kind of ' honorable exit' to monarchy.

As secret negotiations continue, there are also talks of converting Nepal into a republic with monarchy enjoying some "social, economical, and cultural privilege". Out on the streets and far-flung villages, ordinary people have been told: end of monarchy and establishment of republic will guarantee durable peace and prosperity in the country.

Again, if the newly elected politicos most of them unsurprisingly suffering from food-in-mouth disease fall to deliver on their promises even in the new republic called Nepal, things could fall apart.

Nepal Army: The last thing the new government wants to mess around with is the Nepal Army, which, until not so long ago revered the institution of monarchy as its guardian. Now guardian-less, the Army maintains it is ready to follow the orders of any government in power. Common sense would expect it to follow the orders of a popularly elected government, in this case that of the likely CPN-Maoist-led new government. The issue of integrating former Maoist combatants into the NA could be a tricky one.

But Prachanda has promised "wonders" on this front too.

Far from dictating their terms on the issue of army integration, many analysts suggest, the Maoist needs to consider other options: such as creating an industrial security force or national parks protection force.

The there's the touchy issue of what to do with the unpopular or popular? YCL, the young communist league!!

Several top SPAM (Seven parties Alliance) leaders including current Prim Minster Mr. G.P. Koirala and CPN-UML Leader Madhav Nepal have demanded that the YCL be dissolved - a demand many Maoist leaders appear to have taken with a pinch of salt.

For now, for the Comrades and the non-Reds the challenges are just multiplying. Having cast their votes, people want to see changes. But lest we forget, CA election was just another step in Nepal's peace and democratization process; it was a means not an end. Only by working together, and accommodating opposing forces, the process can mover forward.

Failing which, it always risks collapse.

April 23, 2208, Wednesday, marks the second anniversary of Loktantra Diwas (Democracy Day) and the government has made elaborate plans to celebrate the day with much fanfare.

But those who risked their lives for democracy have been left high and dry.

Many people injured during Janna Andolan-II (People's Movement in April 2006) have complained that they are still deprived of the promised and mush hyped compensation largely due to indifference of government officials.

On Tuesday afternoon at Pulchowk, over a dozen youth were searching for government officials in the committee for Treatment and Management of Injured People during Jana-Andolan.

Time and again they allege, official's are absent from office, and of those who do come to the office give them the stock answer "come tomorrow". But that "tomorrow" ahs not yet come for them Before the April 10 constituent assembly election, the injured has done the rounds of the office for months but to no avail. This time too, they came soon after the election.

Parshu Ram Bisworkram, whose eyes, legs, and hand were injured in Jhapa protest, is still to get compensation despite having provided essential documents to the Committee providing himself an injured person. "Each time, government officials tell me to come after a week. I have visited here many times seeking the attention of government officials, but to no avail, "says Bisworkarma.

Another youth Rajendra Lamichhane, 23, who hails from Gorkha district, ahs also visited this office six times for compensation that the government had announced for those injured in the historic uprising against King Gyanendra autocratic regime. "There is not budget, come next time, "he has been listening to this every time he comes here. These are only representative cases, according to Kashi Rimal, one of the officials in the Committee. So far, around 2,300 injured out of 7,000 have received compensation. Of the number, some failed to be genuine injured persons while others have never visited the Committee.

The government's initial allocation of Rs.30,80 millions as compensation has already been used up, Rimal says, Rimal says they could not provide the announced compensation due to budget crunch after the Ministry of Finance stopped allocating money to this office. On the other hand, head of committee, Suresh Adhikari, under-secretary, who was Nepalgunj. No one has replaced him so far.

Defining Democracy in Nepal

Accepting New Reality in Nepal

The Kathmandu who live nervously with rumors of the Maoists taking over the capital by force overnight a few years ago have welcomed them through a different trajectory - the secret ballots. The Maoists too are stunned by the warm welcome they have received from the people here. Their urban dreams have come true without weapons, through what they have always labeled as bourgeoisie process, the elections.

The CPN (Maoist) has become a national party by garnering very significant support of the people, a mandate to work for stability, order, and peace, a corruption-free bureaucracy, freedom of expression for the 21st century. The should take their electoral gains not as psycho-political triumph over their communist compatriots the United Marxist Leninists (UML) whose middle path is interpreted as their hubris in this election.

Babu Ram Bhattarai senior leader of the CPN (M) who represents the communist ideology, he called the ULM a hybrid force, in his politically incorrect expression a 'eunuch' party. That may be a post -election victory arrogance and expression of anger with the UML for their rejection of the Maoist proposal of a united leftist front in the election. The argument cannot be that simple. The Maoists form the second day of their election victory have started the most challenging task of interpreting Nepali history and the country's socio-political and economic structure.

The Maoist leader Prachanda in the past 24 hours has met the business communities and other to alley the supposedly great fear that these communities may be harboring. Prichard's first post-election engagement thus represents the Maoists' first ever challenge of transforming a party of guerrillas into a party of responsible statement and cadres. In the decade-long warfare they had not imagined that they would be catapulted into power through a process that they always critiqued as a bourgeoisie mode of politics.

Now the people of Nepal have silenced the Maoists' guns forever by electing them to govern the country in the most important phase of history. Therefore, whatever they may be saying about the UML may not be correct, or ironically they too may be going through the same process of political transformation as the younger generation of the communists who had started their guerrilla movement from Jhapa of eastern Nepal under the influence of the Indian rural Naxalite leader Kanu Sanyal in the late sixties and who transformed themselves into the UML later on. But there is a difference. The UML made tremendous gains under the charismatic leadership of its leader Madan Bhandari who was killed in a road accident. But they did not get a clear majority to rule.

Secondly, the UML leaders showed great arrogance and had started saying that they would even use the Nepal Army and police to crush the Maoists, which was a totally unwarranted remark even by an election speech standard. But the Maoists have to encounter the new history on different fronts. Their YCL cadres are bellicose. A tired Prachanda was seen on the news before the elections calling the YCL to become Gandhian for a week. Now we can ask, is the period of the YCL's Gandhian avatar over?

Iribucakkt, does the YCL as cadres of the ruling party have any option other than adopt the Gandhian method? The CPN (M) should therefore work with a totally new alchemy and stun the world for the third time. (The first and second being the peace deal and participation in the government and CA election) That alche would be a combination of positive non-violence, honesty and a left-oriented democratic multiparty ideology to overthrow the feudal structure and take the country to prosperity. But their victory in the CA election means they must work with all the other parties old or new to write an epoch-making constitution of Nepal

We can expect a radical change in the leadership structure of the NC and UML parties. Tremors are already recorded by both parties. As for Girija Prasad Koirala he has always said the CA election will be the last goal of his life and he has accomplished the task. There is no need for him to work with a melancholic mindset. But since he is still the leader of the NC, his next triumph would be to hand over the Congress Party to the leaders of the young generation, who alone can save this party from a total collapse. The first indications were seen in the election victory of Narahari Acharya and the strong political impact made by young leaders like Gangan Thapa and others like him during the election. These youth have always been sidelined in a party dominated by the elders of feudal mindsets and those who have indulged in unfair practices of making money.

The sweeping election victory of the Maoists has surprised some and dismayed the others. Elitist discourses how a deep-seated discomfort over the results. Elites who have learnt to live with relative comfort and equanimity appear disturbed by the Maoist election victor. One argument that is being surfaced is that the main reason of the Maoist victory is the fear psychosis they created. But the huge turn our of voters and the uniformity in the voting pattern deconstructs that logic. The Maoists won because people of this country who saw them trapped in history used this occasion to open doors for other options, and the Maoists appeared to have the political will and sincerity for that. They won in a fair and peaceful election directly supervised by international observers and by no other than the former American President Jimmy Carter who was seen promenading in the ancient city of Kritipur, Prachands's constituency, to supervise the electoral process. Carter has been critiquing his administration for not recognizing the Maoists. It is clear now he will evoke this election to create leverage on the American administration for that.

Elites of the Western world and South Asia whose imaginary was/is greatly shaped by the colonial history had kept Nepal as the bottom of a list of countries that did not mater in political civilization shaped by the Western epistemology, world view and sense of enlightenment. To them, and rightly so, Nepal was a country whose bureaucrats competed to earn Nepal a position of the poorest country in the hemisphere and whose king rubbed the clichéd 'zone of peace' of a remarkable tautological significance. We were accustomed to live in an echo chamber with the age-old feudal noises repeated with the utmost monotony.

Now the election results show that three parties that subsume the seven parties always had the mandate of the people and the institution of the monarchy is finished in Nepal. Parties who have lost and those who have made tremendous gains should once again work together.

Finally, father of modern linguistics Ferdinand de Saussure said, the relationship between sign and meaning is arbitrary. The relationship between the name 'Maoist' and the CPN (M) as I see as a student of semiotics is arbitrary. The CPN (M) will be the first to realize that.

New Year, New Nepal

With the beginning of the New Year, the country is going to witness a new political environment. The successful holding of the Constituent Assmebly (CA) polls has put evey Nepali in a very optimistic mood. But the political challenges ahead are certainly daunting. The CA to be convened after the election results are released will have to seal the fate of the monarchy once and for all. The 240 year old institutin will be consigned to the political history of Nepal. The country, which will soon new representatives will have to exeute the promises made at different times when serveral agreements were signed, beginning with the 12 point pact. The most difficult task ahead is federalizing the country. The nature of federal Nepal, demarcation of the internal boundaries and sharing of power between the federal units and the center are some of the greatest challenges.

However, the technial aspects involved in drafting the new constitution and the subsequent work of federating the country will be much more complex than the CA polls. They involve skill, the participation of every aspect of the national community and discussions on everfy aspect of the national document. No community or ethnic group should feel left out of the process of drafting the new constitution in order to ensure that it is as inclusive as possible. The task of writing the supreme law of the land is obviously awesome and arduous. So the delegates elected to the CA must note that they have got this fresh mandate only to fulfil the political commitments which they made to the people before the beginning of the peace process. No mater who wins the CA polls the authority they have been granted provides legitilacy to the drafting on the new constitution.

The CA polls, which should have taken place way back in 1952, could finally be held last Thrusday only. There could be difference of opinion among the newly elected members of the CA. Such divergence of views should not undermine the natinal intersts and political commitments. Though the year 2065 certainly brings hopes of political stability and better enonomic prospects, the represintatives should not get carried away by the new political development. The new political chalallenges demand capable and real leaders.The country does not need those who cry foul and dream of what is not achievable. It needs leaders who can fulfill their commitments and work for the country's interests. Let's hope the Maoists' joining the political process yield tangible results and the country really moves into the track economic prosperity like India and China. The Post wishes you a happy and prosperous New Year.

Looking Back, and Moving Forward in Nepal

The last time the Nepali people voted was in May 1999. Then the armed rebellion launched by the CPN (Maoist) against the "old state" that would last from 1996-2006 was still in its infancy, although it had begun to show signs of becoming the menace that it would ultimately turn into. During this period, we saw more than a thousand deaths on average each year, the political parties' infighting, King Gyanendra's ill-advised coup, and the disaster it wrought on the country, his attempt to legitimize his rule through the fiasco of a municipal election in February 2006 and, of course, the epoch-making Jana Andolan II two months later.

It is easy to dismiss the whole election exercise, and stay home on Election Day on April 10. Excuses not to venture out and cast one's vote could vary from not-so-peaceful atmosphere (the last two general elections were also marred by violence, by the way), political parties not trying hard enough to convey the message that this is an election write a new constitution and general lethargy.

Plus, one can decide to take the side of people who want to disrupt, and discredit, the polls.

Sample this demented logic of some people: The election is taking place because India and China are fed up with the presence of non-Indian and non-Chinese foreigners and their influence on Nepal. These are the people who still like to place a "big IF" on the possibility of the election happening come this Thursday. With their attempts to save the monarchy in tatters, and their cajoling, threats, misinformation and motivated opinion polls (so easily referred to by lazy parachuting journalists, among others) failing to sway the people, these people are now making last ditch efforts and their target is the Constituent Assembly election. Having failed to foil it, they are now trying to discredit it by saying that it is not our election but some foreigners' handiwork.

By staying home on Election Day, people will play a role in consolidating the prevailing sense of uncertainty, unease and lack of direction. Chaos and movement in the reverse direction will follow. A free fall is certain, and we could lose at least several decades trying to get to the point where we are now.

But by coming out to cast their votes in large numbers, the people will be boosting the process of reversing the downhill slide of the past decade - a decade in which we lost more than 13,000 Nepali lives, saw hundreds of thousands injured and maimed for life, watched more people get displaced and suffered losses of infrastructure running into billions of rupees. More crucially, we lost a decade of opportunities and possibilities and what could have been all due to a needless war and the brutal campaign to counter it. So it is for us to create an atmosphere where the parties we entrust to make the new constitution and run the affairs will have n choice but to move forward.

As conscientious citizens, people who come out to cast their ballots will make many things happen. To begin with, one can largely wipe out the possibility of one's vote being misused. Larger crowds at the polling booths will dater the political parties' cadres from even thinking about vote rigging. One way to give a strong reply and counteract the atmosphere of intimidation is to turn out in huge numbers and vote.

If one wants to blame the parties there are many, in Kathmandu at least, who see the political parties as the source of all evils it would be worthwhile to look into what they have achieved in the past three years.

First, they succeeded in bringing an end to the mindless violence unleashed by the Maoists and exacerbated by clueless security forces. After a lackluster start, they led- ably complemented by a very powerful civil society the people's movement against the king's dictatorship. They succeeded in bringing the Maoists into mainstream multiparty competitive politics, made the polity and governance more inclusive than ever before and are about to hold the election to the Constituent Assembly that no one has been able to do since the 1950s when it was first promised by the current king's grandfather, King Tribhuvan.

Public memory is notoriously shot. The last major insurgency related violence was not so long ago on April 6, 2006 when the Maoists raided Malangawa, the Tarai reasons of Nepal, the district head quarters of Sarlahi, in which 13 persons were killed. Ten RNA soldiers who had set out to reinforce the besieged policemen in Malangawa died when the chopper they were traveling in crashed. More than 100 people were killed between March 1, 2006 (when the Maoists attacked Palpa for the second time in as many months, resulting in 30 deaths) and the Malangawa raid. Do remember that the Maoists had announced - on April 2 that year - to cease attacks in Kathmandu. We in the capital were safe; not those outside.

Should we forget how desperately we expressed a collective sigh of relief at every brief ceasefire between the government and the Maoists? It was a relief to know that the hapless people in the countryside completely at the mercy of marauding Maoists and insensitive securing personnel should be better off, that our friends (however short lived that might have been), and that some miracle would occur to persuade the rebels to shun violence.

This has happened, and now the same brute force is approaching the electorate asking for votes.

When there was opposition to the then Seven-Party Alliance's striking an agreement with CPN (Maoist) to flight the king, we had argued that not doing so would not only allow a dictator to entrench himself in the name of Mahendra/Mandala Rastrabad and national unity, it would also mean the death toll increasing, losses mounting and the clock to doom ticking loud and fast.

One day from now, there is this all-important election. Think about the past, remember all the things that went wrong if you will; but do take a step to move forward.

I can not hold back the temptation of making a suggestion. Wherever possible, choose individuals -irrespective of their party ideology - who are clean of any corruption and extortion charges, and those who you believe will work towards ending all violence, providing justice to the victims of the decade-long conflict and helping write an effective and inclusive constitution.

Kathmandu has started looking deserted, with people flocking to their villages and towns to cast their votes. This Despite the lingering threat of violence and prevalent intimidation! The capital, Kathmandu, on the other hand, is relatively peaceful despite stray bomb blasts. When you go out and stamp your mark next to the election symbol, you will be stamping your authority and rejecting all violence.

DO VOTE.

Here I try to write some of the problems in Nepal where we must stand on a queues and we have to face many problems during that period, some of which I try to put my thoughts, ‘

The movies are all about love, violence, romance; tickets are overcharge. People slumber under the open sky to have mobile SIM card; you may not get the person on line or send your message on time because network is not effective, the vehicles are crowded, the streets are narrower; the traffic is heavy. There is load shedding, the meter reading moves on, the taps are dry, the toilets are filthy; but they are bound to pay on time. The fuel is scarce; the prices and wheelers are increasing, the food is mixed and often spoiled; starving mouths are increasing and compelled; and for all of it, people stand to wait through out whole morning or day, and in some cases pass the nights.

But how do you feel when someone out of line drops in? Is it simply okay while you are queuing, and are dropped behind and are likely to miss schedules as a result?

Recently, I was standing in a queue in a private bank for the banking services while I heard the tip toeing of pointed heels very close, zipped past the slow moving line and went straight ahead to the from desk to be acknowledged with no sign of impenitence. This perplexed me for a moment until I realized that no one would possibly oppose this overtakes.

Earlier, on my way to this place, I queued to tank my wheelers up, and then I was stuck in a heavy traffic late by an hour and afraid that I would miss an important meeting next because of this. I look at my watch and discovered that I have only 30 minutes to go for the next schedule, in the neighbor-hood of half an hour long distance. A little displeased I pushed on to the desk to remind the intruders, be spectacled overhead and the wench at the service to think of people standing in line. Instead of apologetic reply, they both seemed unbothered, rather pleased at talking in an elite way. Like many accustomed Nepali, what could I do but wait to be served later, so I just got back to my place and watched the people ahead and back, all sighed, exchanged stoic, long suffering looks and waited.

I believe, many people queue to be served while many undergo break-in. Everyday, many people are late to get to the place or meet schedules. For many people waiting is just not a problem, but more people have no problem for breaking in. Many people set out early to avoid being late or missing something, nevertheless, they have to miss because of some ill-mannered people. Many seek ways to avoid this and many show guts to react. But, how do you take this?

Woman versus Woman

Some days ago, I read a book "Woman versus woman", which is written by Shirley Eskapa, where she explodes the myths that encase wives and mistresses. Very often, the aura that surrounds that other woman is the perception that she is younger, sexier, a result of four years of dogged meeting over 400 women-wives and lovers trapped in the triangle and jostling over one man.

Some wives interviewed in the book agree that it's the entire biology that makes a man more promiscuous than women." the glimpse of an anonymous strong shoulder, or an anonymous hairy chest or an anonymous bicep can seldom send to a woman's..."

However crude the comparisons may be, does it mean that the man is tapped in the eternal 'hunter gather' time wrap? It could be one of the reasons among many, agrees Shirley. "The adrenalines rush that a chase or a challenge can give a something that cannot be denied. The hunt is always better than there kill. The novelty of the new is its excitement and its allure."

The truth is that wives cannot give their husbands the madness that another woman can. The ingredients of romance and flight belong to the realm of the other woman. Most often than not the other woman is younger than the wife and looks up to the older man as he has authority, money, and power. The wife has long ago stopped putting her man on a pedestal, familiar as he is with his numerous little shortcomings. The other woman is an ego boost.

While there have traditionally been complaints of men being disloyal, economic independence and individual freedom makes women less tolerant, and they are now open to seek happiness outside their marriage. The other thing is that chatting on the internet is changing relationships. It is like falling in love with a phantom, but there are many people who were bound together by the internet and even got married.

Do marriages that are fragile encounter the other woman? Are marriages that are old, and steeped in trust not prone to such threat? All marriages have divorce potential, however old, solid and well entrenched. "It is a dangerous myth that only weak marriages are vulnerable. In the equation of the triangle, it's confounding when ideal couples bite the dust.

The catch-22 is as old as time and can never have one solution to it. For those struggling with similar quandary, Shirley says that before they take any action it's imperative to weigh all their options. One way of doing it is when you are along, take a piece of paper and make two columns listing truthfully all the positive and negative aspects of the relationship. Rationalize. Take a decision, the solution lies within.

As poll observers start their work of monitoring the "fairness" and "freeness" of the epoch making elections, million-dollar questions like will they be impartial" and who will monitor them? Are being raised and we believed, not without reason? People affiliated to political parties are being used as election observers by different national election observation organizations. Besides reports in different media about such observers canvassing for a particular party or gracing the election program of parties as chief guest, we see people close to or members of major political parties occupying important positions in such monitoring organizations. Even the National Human Rights Commission (NHRC) has received many complaints that people associated with a particular party had been permitted to be election observers. Though the NHRC has already drawn the attention of the EC, the latter seems to be indifferent to this concern and has busied it in issuing passes to such observers.

One of the criteria for eligibility is that a person applying to be an election observer should not be affiliated to any political party. All the three criteria minimum age and minimum qualification being the other two have been rampantly ignored and violated. The Post is more concerned about the breach of the political affiliation criterion as these monitors' reports are sure to be questioned on grounds of impartiality. The argument that it is difficult to find people not connected to any political party is silly and hollow. How can we rely on a report by such people? What is the guarantee that their reports will be fair and objective? The question to ponder here is why did such election observation organizations employ people with a specific political party slant? Also, why did not EC give them permission to observe the elections despite some known pro-party faces gracing such bodies? Was it under pressure from the political parties? The EC needs to come clean on this.

So much for the national bodies, even international organizations have fared poorly so far. Besides poor homework and research, it is not difficult to see why it is happening. These organizations also have among them people with a specific political tilt. The Chief Election Commissioner made a pertinent point the other day when he asked these election monitoring missions not to rush to hasty conclusions. He also asked them not to link all criminal acts with election related violence. With so much at stake in the historic polls, there is reason to worry. Although a proper investigation is in order, we realize that there is hardly any time left for this. The EC has started writing to the organizations, and so far two persons have been disqualified. This is not enough. If it lacks manpower and resources to monitor such observers on its own, it must look into media reports about such bias, scrutinize them, and act. We can't allow prejudiced observers to harm the whole process.

Parents and Children

For all Children and most Adults, family is the most important thing in life.

Children's biggest fear is being abandoned by their parents. The most important thing you give your kids is the solid assurance that you love your spouse beyond a shadow of doubt. Mom and dad should consistently send the message that although we are not always perfect and we argue and hurt each other's feelings from time to time. We are going to be here together for you. Therefore, it is important to let your children know that "parents are forever". In case of such a divorce or a separation, even when there is bitterness between the father and the mother, children should not be used to get back at the other person or made to choose sides. Children need to know it is alright for them to love both parents even if their parents don't love each other.

Many parents find it difficult to express love for their children in outward displays. They assume their children know they love them even when they do not say it in words. Even when children know that their parent love them, they want them to verbalize their feelings and show love. Children who receive a lot of hugs, kisses and I love you messages from parents are emotionally very secure and are more articulate and expressive in life. Therefore, children need to experience affection directly. For parents who don't give hugs easily you might begin by just putting hand on your chid's shoulder while talking, children might initially hold back, but most like it and will come to look forward to a show of affection from family members.

Parents teach and influence children more through action than words. They are the children's first role model and an idol. So, teach practical values to your children. Usually, children learn how to behave by seeing how their parents behave and follow their example. For this reason, you need to be aware of what you may unintentionally be teaching your children.

Also, helping a child to behave in an acceptable manner is a necessary part of raising the children well. Disciplining your child means teaching him/her responsible behavior and self-control.

We live in a fractured and materialistic world. Children also are searching for answers to questions and need an anchor to get by in life. Morals and values give children the qualities to be good adults. Where spirituality is concerned, children are more open to ideas about God than many parents realize. For healthy psychological development, kids need to know there is something greater than them. Spiritual awareness, beginning as early as the early childhood years, makes a difference.

The most important thing to keep in mind is "Children will not remember you for the material things you provide but for the feeling that you cherish them".

Some days back when some women across the country observed the International Women's day some others in the rural areas found no reason to celebrate their womanhood, which for them became the source of their constant pain and suffering rather than pride. Since their childhood they face traditional stereo types so interwoven in the social fabric that there is no one to talk to girls about their own body and health. Early marriage is soon followed by deliveries one after another, even before their organs are fully matured and ready to support a new life without damaging mother's health.

General health information and services in Nepal is inadequate considering the needs of the people, but when it comes to reproductive health the issue becomes even more difficult to address as it is an uneasy topic for many. The situation has been even more complicated by the decade-long conflict not only because the improvement of the health posts was halted and those existing remained vacant but even more because the men were hiding, fleeing, or actively participating in the combat. So, it was up to their wives and children to share the remaining work load.

Most of the women in the remove areas deliver children without medical assistance and if they survive, they come back to their chores soon after delivery. This leads to a number of serious health complications, above all uterus prolapse. The pain is multiplied as the burden of physical work grows. Yet, they suffer in silence as it is not acceptable to talk openly about their pain.

If one sets up a mobile reproductive health camp in any area people walk even whole day to be admitted. It is heard to describe the relief our patients experience when they are able to talk about their condition for the first time and moreover, they learn that it is fully treatable.

Every time we succeed in guiding a woman through treatment procedures and she recovers after operation, we share her happiness but I can't help the feeling of sadness in me as the camps are only an emergency measure. Indeed, there is a dire need to address the issue in a systematic way.

If somebody keeps quiet it does not necessarily mean that she or he does not suffer. If we don't talk about something we can create an illusion that the problem does not exist but the pain felt by thousands of women is not illusory, it is very real.

Is Divorce  Necessary?

A section of the female population does not have marriage as the goal in their lives. When they do get married, they want everything on their own terms and are unwilling to make any kind of compromise. In any relationship, let along marriage, mutual respect, understanding the emotional needs of the other person and a desire to make the association work, even with some compromises, is the basic ingredient for a lasting and fruitful relationship. Marriage is no different and needs the same effort.

A divorce does not bounce suddently for any couple. Liasion decline, antipathies boil without communication, one partner or the other gets constantly hurt and one day takes the final decision of going for a divorce. Steps can be taken to rectify situations before the final act if the rot has not set in too deeply. Communication and a desire to resolve the situation is often the key to a solution at this stage.

If you find your marital life is developing cracks, do not let them get wider in silence. Attempt to save your marriage, be it an arranged or a love union. Find a neutral person, a distant relative or a friend who can speak to both of you frankly and point out the errors to both of you without prejudice. If you are not lucky enough to have such a person in your social circle,  while the chance of recovery of your marriage is still strong, find a good marriage counselor and attend sessions together.

It is quite possible that you still love and respect each other but a misunderstanding or imagined slight is leading to a confrontation without either of you taking the first step to resolve it.

Even family courts in Nepal are providing better counseling services now. It is amazing how issues simmer for years. Couples today spend less time together and pressures of modern life are very strong. The buffer of the joint family is gone. Often, the desire to hurt the spouse is basic reason for wanting a divorce. If couples are not emotionally involved else where, with a few sessions, they talk and are very often able to sort out their difference. That is when I find personal satisfaction in this otherwise painful job", Aarati, a conselor in the court said.

Albeit your marriage has, sadly, crossed the fence of a reclaiming likelihood, do not use it as device of punishment. Remember that prolonged battle in court is a double-edged sword, which will damage both parties. Dishonest lawyers will only fan the fire, but it will be your valuable years, and money, that will be wasted in ongoing legal altercation. 

Punctuality not a cup of tea for Nepal Government Employee

By the time Supreme Count Justice Tahir Ali Ansari rejoined his bence on March 18, it was already 3:12 PM, or 42 minutes after the afternoon tea recess.

Taking his seat, Ansari neither apologize to Senior Advocate Ganesh Raj Sharma and other lawyers, who were waiting for him desperately, nor did he give any reason for the delay.

But Justice Ansari's is no exceptinal case. Almost all the justices fail to show up in court on time.

The Post did a reality check, with random recording of the working time of judges for one week and observation of work at the benches for a month starting from February 26.

During the study perood, this daily found that judges rarely showed up at their respective benches before 11 am although the apex count opens at 10 am. Some judges came to their bench as late as 11.54 am. On February 27, Justics Min Bahadur Rayamajhi and Kalayan Shreasha turned up at 11.54 am. After joining the bench, they postponed hearings in 21 cases, citing lack of time that particular day. Justice Rayamajhi is the senior most justice of the apex count after the Chief Justice.

Similarly, Chief Justice Kedar Prasaad Giri came to the bench at 11:52 am on February 26. As the Chief Justice entered, a lawyer who was talking to the Post outside the chamber commented, "This is judicial bureaucracy."

During the review period, this daily found that judges in general remained at their benches till 1:30 pm when the hour long tea break at the apex court begins.

As in the mornings, judges were found coming to the benches late aftet the tea break also. The judges generally do not resume hearings before 3:45 pm though the tea break is over by 2:30 pm.

Similarly, the benches generally close as ealy as 4:30 pm even though harings scheduled for a particular day are not finshed. Some judges close shop as early as 2:47 pm without finishing the day's work.

For instance, on March 27, Justices Ram Prasad Shrestha and Damodar Prasad Sharma colsed the division bench at 3:40 pm and also did not take up hearings at the single bench though that is what they were supposed to do. Shrestha was supposed take up five cases and Sharma four cases at their singly benches.

A classic case of unpunctuality was exhibited by Justices Ram Kumar Prasad Sah and Gauri Dhakal on March 2. They closed their division bench at 2:47 pm, citing lack of time. The bench deferred 14 cases, including one concerning Shova Rana.

Rana, who was in court since morning, was obviously disappointed to see her case deferred yet again. "They postponed the hearing though they had eoough time. Had they come on time in the morning, my case would have been finished,"said an infuriated Rana, whose case had already been deferred thrice.

Attempts by the Post to get a comment from the Chief Justice failed. After a long wait for an appointment, the Chief Justice replied, through Supreme Count spokesperson. Til Prasad Shrestha, that he did not want to talk to the media. Shrestha said he could not comment on the performance of the judges.

Coincidently, the performance of Supreme Court judges has been declining in recent years. According to a report of the Supreme Court, the average per judge case disposal has declined progresively since 2004. The per judge annual disposal, which was 681 cases in 2004 declined 2654 in 2005 and 601 in 2006.

The sane report has recommended that the court create more hous for processing and hearings so as to address the Suprime Court backlog of 13,476 cases. The working style of the justices amply i ndicates that the report has not been taken seriously. 

Cool it -  Political Parties of Nepal

The run-up to the Constituent Assembly in Nepal pools slated for April 10 has been gradually turning violent. Incidents of killing intimidation coercion and abduction have become new tools in the election campaign. Political cadres need to exercise restraint and not go overboard in their attempts to attact voters to their party. And they should focus on the core issue that the CA pools are for drafting the country's new constitution, and that the voters are electing representatives to put their cases for leaders, especially the Maoissts, have been delivering their speeches also suggests that they are hell bent on grabbing power insssstead of genuinely seeking the people's mandaaaate to draw the country's new political course. Clashes among cadres of different political parties have virtually brought the election campaign in parts of the country to a halt.

Muscle-flexing campaigns set very unhalthy political parties. The people cannot case their votes under such circumstances. Such incidents indicate that the leaders have fialed to live up to their political cinnutnebtsm and tgat tge scgedyked polls are likely to be marred to by violence. The other day, clashes between YCL and NC workers claimed the life of the Maoist district leader in Solukhumbu. Scores of political cadres, including Bal Bahadur KC who was on an eletion campaign, were injured in the fight. Eight Maoist cadres have been killed since the government announced the election date. Canditate Kamal Prasad Adhikari from Banke was gunned down after being dragged from his house.

We are the luckiest generation. Just to be optimistic, we have got an opportunity to our future. If we have got an opportunity to vote for our future, if we are able to emulate the American success, we will remain a stable nation and if the fate of French repeats, we will form CA five times.

I have in my life never cast a vote, not even for Free Students Union. I have always despised politicizing education, which has crated a mess in most of the prestigious universities of Nepal. Not that I loath democratic rights of students, but what I hate are the sister organization of political parties.

However, I am fervid about this election to choose a candidate and a party to voice my concern. Indirectly, I would be formulating the county's Supreme Laws for myself. Not only me, but also all members of my family and relatives are very enthusiastic about the poll. Two candidates are our relatives but luckily we are saved from making a choice, as they belong to different constituencies.

It is not clear, where on earth, the practice of adult franchise started for the first time. The West says Greeks had devised it and Romans followed. Concrete evidence of voting is also found in Buddha's time. Kapilvastu, a city in Nepal where Lord Buddha born was in fact a republic; the king was elected from among the heads of different tribes.

The Vedas too, hint on the practice of voting in those days and the exercise of democracy and republicanism. The word ' king' in the Hinduism has multiple meanings. It is used for head of unitary or federal government; governors or president of the state. To think that these terms came to us from the West is inanity, only that we had forgotten our roots. I have used the word Hinduism not as a religion but the civilization of the Aryans and non Aryans of Indian sub-continent.

Today, voting means political affiliation also. And when a candidate wins, his/her personality factor as well the party to which he/she belongs plays a role. In the US, a candidate is the sole factor and in UK, it is the parties the British vote. But what do Nepalese vote for, when they do, is it from their conscience? I wonder. Rarely the Nepali women, especially of rural areas use their mind, as they lack education.

My mother does not have political affiliation but my father was a leftist. Later he extricates himself from this ideology as he witnessed the tumbling of the Berlin Was and collapse of the USSR. Now he believes in freedom, democracy, and market-based economy. He influences us, his children. Our education and upbringing in the modern world have played a salient part in our thinking. But my poor mother; who does she vote for? It's clear this time that she will vote for her brother-in-law, but on those past parliamentary elections whom did she vote? I'm sure my papa helped her.

The literacy rate is very low amongst Nepali women and those mascara-donning (educated) women think politics is a dirty game. But voting is not solely about politics. Let's vote it's the best privilege the state give us.

Child Supervision

The world is changing so fast that in such a state of flux, the time of innocence comes for just a fraction. The exposure the children get through media and the peer group is really an infromation overload which is not censored. Worse, they have to survive believing in their own legend. This leads to widespread experimenting with everything drugs, sex and indulgence of every fantasy. Most serials I see the kids watching have one kiss in one minute and reinforce couple behavior whether it is the Tom and Jery carton or any of the new serial on television.

Attitudes are changing and sexuality is no longer taboo, but there is a new catch phase. Girls like campliments, like, you are sexy rather than, you are pretty. Take an innocent food like icecream. The very strap line of an icecream brand is, 'pleasure up' and it's being touted sexually.

Psychiatrists insist that all parties, even an innocent 13-14 year-old's brithday party, must have adult supervision. That's the only way parents can guide them in a world of changing multiple attarations. "Sensitive, frank communication is the key to healthy relationships where childeren learn the difference of what is cool and what is not. Early sex educatioin reduces sexual activity and encourages those who have indulged in early sexual activity towards safer sex. Howerver, most parents think it is the job of the school and ofter believe that their kids know more than he or she should, through constant media exposure. This is really a myth. No amount of titilation provided in the media can bridge the old fashioned talks parents need to have with their children about their bodies and sexuality".

Psychiatrists admit that exposure to media images adds to titillating immagination, leading to experimentation of all sorts. What make matters worse is parental attitude. Very offen. parents think and say, "My kid will never do drings, drugs or experiment sexually." Such an attitude leads to a lot of hidden experimenting and internal frustration. More importantly, in the fast-changing world, parents are at sea on how to deal with their growing childeren who have moved away for the benchmark that the parents had as kids."

If we look at what is now being touted on television as entertainment, the message is clear. Music videos tout bodily expressiion. Then there is fashion, beauty contest and reality television and a whole gamut of entertainment that exist with a large does of violence and the supernatural.

The main challenge now is to fashion a high decibel campaign that brings about 'intelligent persuasion,'censorship regulation and community participation. Till such a regulation emerges, the' spring reaction' of the new-found sexual fredom touted in the media is bound to stretch and cover grounds that till now have been able to retain themselves as conventional. Not instilling maturity and sensitivisty towards their sexuality, psychologists say, "will be like giving the emerging young generation their own car sans brakes and traffic rules."